By Jessica Downey of Chicago Now’s All the Single Ladies
Christina Aguilera recently divorced Jordan Bratman, and she is about to turn 30 in December.  I am at the opposite end of things – I just turned 30, and I have never been married (read that as I am totally and completely single).

When I was 20, I thought that I would be married or at least in a really serious relationship by the age of 30.  And it’s not that I think 30 is old by any means or that I had some sort of timeline but at that time, 30 just seemed so far away.  I mean, 10 years is a pretty long time; plenty of time to meet a guy, fall in love and get married.

Obviously as I went into this year, I figured out that marriage probably wasn’t going to happen.  Technically, it didn’t take me that long to figure it out, but I mean, you really never know what can happen.  But as my birthday got closer and closer, I kind of liked the idea of having a boyfriend or at least a date by my side on that day.

When the day actually came, I honestly have to say that I wasn’t all that sad that I didn’t have a man by my side.  Actually, I wasn’t sad at all.  I looked around me and saw all of the amazing friends and family that went out of their way to make the day special for me.  I also realized that I have accomplished a lot in life since I was 20.

Now that I am actually 30, I can honestly say that not having a significant other really doesn’t feel any different than when I was 20.  I mean, things around me have changed.  I now live in a completely different place.  Certain characteristics about me have also grown and changed, but honestly being single doesn’t feel any different for me.

I am not trying to take anything away from the whole concept of finding someone that you truly love.  But I do believe that there are many other things in life that you can also be happy about.  Things that are important as well.  And while the once 20-year-old girl thought she would be married by this time, the 30-year-old woman knows that she just hasn’t met the right guy yet.

Jessica Downey is a freelance writer who writes about dating and single life in Chicago. All of her ramblings can be found on her blog on She also writes for and has written for