By Kerri Sheehan
In the Mario 64 video game, the title character wins over Princess Peach’s heart by saving her from Bowser, a villainous kidnapper. Spiderman characters Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson fell in love despite Parker’s nerdy demeanor and web-slinging abilities. In Star Wars, Han Solo wowed Princess Leia by showing her that he was more than just your average galactic player. So how did all of these “nerds” manage to navigate the dating world and find their special someone? Chances are they got their hands on a copy of The Geek’s Guide to Dating by Eric Smith!
Smith is the cofounder of Geekadelphia, a popular blog covering all-that-is-geek in the City of Brotherly Love. In his newest book, the blogger hopes to help his fellow nerds and give them a step-by-step guide to put their heart on the line and fall in love. Throughout the book, he makes references to Star Trek, Firefly, Pokémon, and many other fandoms. A self-proclaimed geek himself, Smith was able to connect these ideas to the dating world so nerds can really grasp the concepts he discusses. The author also encourages his readers to switch off the “pick-up artist” technique in favor of showing understanding and respect for women. Featuring eight-bit pixel art by Juan Carlos Solon, The Geek’s Guide to Dating will make any gamer feel like they’re right at home.
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In Chapter One, you outline the different types of geeks and talk about their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to dating. Which kind of geek do you identify with the most? How has this description helped and hindered you in the dating world?
I would probably identify most with the gamer and the book geek. Sometimes, I play a crippling amount of video games, and I’ve been known to take days off of work just to play a new release. My co-workers can tell because I won’t show up on a Wednesday if the video game comes out on a Tuesday. The only reason this hobby has hindered me when it comes to dating is when people aren’t really open to joining in and trying something new like video games. As for the book geek, I spend a lot of time scouring flea markets or used bookstores, trying to get rare titles and exciting finds.
In terms of how these qualities have helped me, I think I have the ability of recall, which is a really nice thing. I love remembering random dates and unique moments of my fiancé’s relationship with me. I still remember what my fiancé wore on our second date when we went to this really small restaurant in Philadelphia — it was a pink dress that she got from this place called Smak Parlor in Old City. And on our first date a year and a half ago, she wore this green eye shadow that I’m never going to forget. It’s fun to know little things like that because mentioning those things can really make someone’s day.
You refer to readers as Player One and their potential love interests as Player Two. You pointed out that players must look inside of themselves before finding a Player Two. Can you delve deeper into this advice?
We’re talking about the whole “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” concept. Many people tend to think that there is someone out there with a quirky, Zooey Deschanel nature who is going to make you a whole person again. It’s like her character in The 500 Days of Summer when Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) thinks she’s going to fix him. I think it’s really important to love and take care of yourself because you probably won’t be good for someone else otherwise.
What do you say to a girl to change her mind about dating a geek?
There are always new things to learn in life, and you never know what someone will show you. My fiancé was super weirded out by the fact that my OkCupid online dating profile talked about the fact that I have a bunny. His name is Rorschach (after a character on The Watchmen), and I laid it all out right there on my profile. She told her friends about it, and they were like, “Really, he has a rabbit? Are you sure you want to meet this guy?” And, happily, she did because we’re getting married!
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Do you have any advice for gamer guys who are currently attached to a non-gamer girlfriend?
Introduce your significant other to a game that has an interesting storyline. Bioshock Infinite, Vengeance, and Assassin’s Creed were great when I was showing my fiancé the video games that I was really into. It got to the point where she wouldn’t let me play Bioshock Infinite unless she was sitting right there with me, so we spent two days playing together, and it was really romantic. She’ll play games, but she really likes to watch the ones that have a riveting and intense plot.
If you’re dating someone who does want to play and try them out, then you can pick out games that have two-player opportunities. You don’t want to make your significant other watch you slag through a football game when they can’t jump in at all. It reminds me of when I was a kid and went over someone’s house to play video games; you would really just be watching them because they wouldn’t let you play!
Lastly, you give a lot of advice to male geeks looking to get a lady. Do you have any advice for female geeks who want to find love?
It’s really a lot of the same stuff that I say to the guys. Share your ideas and pursuits, and don’t close someone out because they’re not into the same things as you are. Remember that we’re long past the days when it was strange for a girl to ask out a guy. Just go for it!
For more information about Smith, you can check out his web series, The Geek’s Guide to Dating at www.quirkbooks.com//post/geeks-guide-dating-webseries-chris-shannon or connect with him on Twitter @ericsmithrocks. To purchase The Geek’s Guide to Dating, visit Amazon.com.
