By Laura Bensen
After the performance at the VMAâs and her newest music video, it is safe to say that Miley Cyrus is on everyoneâs minds whether we like it or not. She has taken the media by storm and consequently our consciousness but donât fret.Â This is not a complete lost cause. There are lessons to be learned from this. So here are five donâts that should never enter the dating world as seen by Miley Cyrus:
1. At the VMAâs we saw Miley twerking on Robin Thicke. This is wrong for so many reasons. Donât twerk on a married man. With a child.Â On TV. When you have a boyfriend. Or in general. Just donât twerk. While Thicke might be in trouble with the Mrs. (I know I would be mad!), we do know that Miley certainly is with her on again off again fiancĂ© Liam Hemsworth. So the lesson here? Donât get up on another man when you have one of your own.
2. Donât orally pleasure garden tools, construction tools or foam fingers. She just needs to stop putting things in her mouth or sheâs going to get sick. Also, while some people might think it’s sexy to put objects in their mouths, a guy might find this as an indicator for the Herp.
3. In her new song Wrecking Ball, she cries, gets naked, and rides a dirty wrecking ball to show how âemotionally exposedâ she is. Donât cry and donât get naked to show you have emotions. Please do not ride a wrecking ball, clean or dirty. It will not lead anywhere good. While there is nothing wrong with crying-everyone cries sometimes- itâs not good for a relationship to do it too early on. It can scare off potential prospects very easily. Getting naked too early on will lead you down a very short road where respect is scarce.
4. While this one is a bit of a throwback, we can see signs of Mileyâs retaliation, joining the slew of ex Disney actresses (Britney, Christina, Hilary and Lindsey. Sweet Jesus, Lindsey was the worst) against modesty back in 2010 with her video Canât Be Tamed. First of all, channeling your inner Britney past Baby One More Time is never good. Men might not want a meek girl but they probably donât want a trashy, weird and violent bird either. There is a pretty wide median to walk and Miley vaulted right over it. So itâs okay to be a fiery female, remember your checks and balances.
5. Please keep your tongue rolled up and in your mouth. Ladies use it for speaking. Not for obscene gestures. As my mama would say âyou keep making that face itâs going to get stuck that wayâ.
Laura Bensen is a freelance writer for Magazines.com from Tacoma, Washington. She enjoys gorging herself on celebrity gossip and chocolate.Â