By Susan Russo
The other day a friend asked me, â€śWhat am I going to do? I canâ€™t live without him in my life. How do I go on? He was my life.â€ť When faced with being alone after your relationship ends, it literally feels as if you donâ€™t know who you are, where you are and how you got there.
Your life was so intertwined with your partnerâ€™s life that it seems that the two of you became one. No wonder people tend to use the clichĂ©, â€śA part of me is missing.â€ť
Related: Returning to the Dating World
How do you think youâ€™re going to feel after youâ€™ve spent years sharing everything together? That includesÂ family, friends, vacations, pets, children, life … and the most private and intimate details of who you are with the person you believed would be there forever.Â Is it any wonder you canâ€™t get your head on straight after this emotional volcano erupting in your life?
But rest assured, even though you feel like youâ€™ll never find your way out of the darkness, there is a light shining so bright at the end of the proverbial tunnel that you will bask in its glory when youâ€™re through it and this heartbreak is behind you.
Iâ€™ll never forget the time Nicole Kidman was on The Oprah Winfrey Show after Tom Cruise had filed for a divorce. Her pain was so palpable you could hear it in her voice, feel it through her words, and see it on her face.
I was crushed and it wasnâ€™t even happening to me!
Iâ€™m sure millions of viewers could relate to Kidmanâ€™s pain because they know there isnâ€™t anything quite like the devastation you feel when the person you love decides they donâ€™t want to be with you anymore.
Butâ€¦look at her now!
PICKING UP THE PIECES
1. GRIEF: Cry until youâ€™re dry! Grief is a process. You canâ€™t go around it, under it or over it. You have to go through it. Get it out so you can get on with your life.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is the first step in letting go of the past. You will begin to pick up the pieces when you finally let go of all of the lamenting of how you wished things wouldâ€™ve turned out differently and accept the reality of your situation.
3. FORGIVENESS: This can be one the toughest things to do, but at the same time when you find forgiveness it is the most freeing thing you can do. It is a gift you give yourself.
The end is just the beginning. There is life after this relationship and itâ€™s going to be a great one. Look at all of the people who have loved and lost and who are now happy. Youâ€™ll find your soul mate when you let go of the past. So, embrace the future one day at a time and before you know it youâ€™ll be living the life you so richly deserve.
Susan Russo is the author of: There Is Life After Whatâ€™s-His-Name, The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You and is co-author of, Success and Happiness-16 Experts Reveal Their Secrets. A graduate from the EPIC Coaches Academy and with over 10 yearsâ€™ experience as a Life and Relationship Coach, she teaches you how to transform adversities into life changing opportunities.