By Dr. Tranquility — Lydia Belton, Ph.D., Ct. H.A.
If you’ve been reading me for the last year or so, you know that I’m all about boundaries. So when we think about having a spring fling, it’s important to first figure out what that means. What’s comfortable for you? What exactly are looking for in a casual relationship? Here are four tips to help you on your journey to love.
1. Go for it. Since this relationship is just a fling, keep it light and allow yourself to really enjoy the process. There are no strings attached, and the experience is whatever you make it. Be confident about who you are and what you want in a man (something that Date Therapy can help you accomplish). A spring fling is a fun opportunity to try something new, to veer away from what you usually look for in love. What does your ideal significant other look like? How do you want to spend your time together? Sipping wine at a local restaurant? Or hanging out on the beach? Now is the time to go after your wish list in a partner.
Related Link: 3 Ways Date Therapy Can Help You Connect
2. Be honest. It’s important to be open about what you need from this type of relationship. Ensure that your definition of a spring fling is in sync with your potential partner’s vision. If you’re expecting a phone call every day, make sure this person will do that for you. Remember that this type of relationship still involves emotional attachment; there’s always a chance that you’ll get hurt.
So be real with yourself — not judgmental but real. This way, you’re better able to screen your crush objectively to ensure that he’s on the same page. If you have any doubts about the importance of this step, consider Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Sure, their relationship was more than a fling, but these two were definitely not on the same page.
3. Don’t date where you live. It’s much harder to keep things light if you’re going to see this person again and again once the relationship ends — and a fling always end. You want to be able to make a clean getaway when it’s over. So consider where your potential partner lives and make your choice wisely.
Related Link: 10 Steps to a Remarkable Relationship
4. Clear your mind. As I mentioned in the introduction, you must be specific and sure about what you want. Think about what a spring fling can give you — beyond a casual relationship. You may meet someone who encourages you to try new things, someone who takes you out of your shell, someone who changes you for the better. A spring fling can be good for the mind, body and spirit, so take advantage of this well-rounded opportunity.
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Developed by Lydia Belton PhD, Ct.H.A., Date Therapy® is an effective protocol that helps people get in touch with their criteria for an ideal mate. DrTranquility’s protocols® have been featured most recently on Forbes.com & Yahoo, ABCNEWS.com, ABC’s the View, KISS FM, CupidsPulse.com, Metromix for the Chicago Tribune, British Glamour, REDBOOK, Cosmopolitan Magazine & promoted by Match.com.