By Marni Kinrys, Ultimate Wing Girl

I have to say, I was shocked at ‘The Bachelorette’ finale. Well, kind-of shocked. For some reason, I knew that Emily was going to pick Jef, but I was still surprised that she didn’t choose Arie. It goes to show you that physical chemistry does not equal partnership for life and that you can make the right choice if you take your time and really evaluate what relationship is best for you.

I have to give Emily so much credit for being able to see that difference between her two final suitors. Throughout this season, she has been a strong and steady Bachelorette, working hard to not let her heart solely dictate her decisions. She has been smart about her choices, and when it comes to love, we all know how challenging that can be.

Related: Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 6: The Dos and Don’ts of Trusting Your Gut

Thinking back on past episodes, I remember when I started to see the potential for Emily and Jef to be a successful couple. When they were lying on the floor in Prague, kissing, giggling and talking easily about the future, I knew that Jef had won her heart. They didn’t just have chemistry; they had a best friendship. That’s the primary distinction between relationships that fizzle and relationships that last forever.

Now that Emily’s found love, I want to help all of you do the same! Here are my tips on how to decipher if someone is a good choice for you for the long haul. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does this person challenge me in a good way? The best partnerships are with those that help us grow and see the world in new and interesting ways. Yes, it’s always great to have a lot in common with a person, but too many similarities can get old and dull pretty quickly. Someone different from you helps you see  sides of yourself that you didn’t know existed. The saying that “opposites attract” really is true.

2. Does this person turn me on physically and mentally? YES, I know physical compatibility is important, but stimulation of the mind and emotionally understanding each other is equally important.

3. Does this person get me? In relationships, you don’t always have to agree with one another, but it’s essential to get one another.  The couples with the strongest survival rates are the ones where they really work on getting to know one another. You need to understand who your partner is and what he or she is all about – and appreciate him or her because of this uniqueness.

Related: Jef Holm Refuses Fantasy Suite With Emily Maynard on ‘The Bachelorette’

4. Does this person have the same values as I do? I know so many people who say that they have the same values as their significant other, but when I ask them what those values are, they draw a blank. Knowing your own core belief system and understanding your partner’s morals is so important to a successful marriage. If you want a guide to discovering your values, email me at marni@winggirlmethod.com and let me know that you read this post.

5. Does this person make even the hard times seem fun? If you are going to be with someone the rest of your life, you better be able to have fun with that person. Life will be tough sometimes, and it’s important to keep that in mind when selecting a partner.

I think Emily and Jef seem like a great couple. I am so happy for the two of them, and I know that they are going to have a fulfilling relationship based on love, admiration and open communication.