Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette are really getting a divorce this time.  According to People, this isn’t the first time the couple have tried to divorce.  Arquette filed last year and withdrew her petition after a reconciliation.  The couple is now restarting the process after four years of marriage.  At least there’s no hostility in this breakup.  “The split is completely amicable and their prime focus is their daughter,” says a rep for the Medium actress.  She and her Hung beau met in 2001 through friends, hit it off, and got married in 2006 in Italy.  They have a 7-year-old daughter, Harlow Olivia Calliope, together.

How do I decide if divorce is the best option?

Cupid’s Advice:

Divorce can be ugly, and it can get expensive.  Even though it isn’t easy, sometimes it’s absolutely necessary.  Cupid has some tips to tell if it’s the right path for you:

1. Tried and failed: If the two of you have tried everything in your power to make things work and there is still no improvement, then you might not be able to save your marriage after all.  It’s best to go your separate ways before things get worse.

2. Abuse: If your partner is abusing you mentally, physically or emotionally, you need to get help!  If he or she threatens to hurt you in any way, then this is not a healthy relationship, and a divorce is more than a reasonable solution.

3. Leftover love? Most couples call it quits when they think there is no love or affection left in the relationship.  Don’t jump to conclusions — seek the help of a marriage counselor before deciding.