By David Wygant
So you’ve met this great man who seems like a lot of fun, but you can’t help having doubts. “God, I hope that this guy is a man and not the dreaded man-boy,” you think to yourself. You know how man-boys are: they’re the guys who show up on dates, dressed a little on the boyish side. Maybe he wore jeans that were a tad outdated. Maybe he sported a pair of running shoes on his feet. Or perhaps he actually wore a ball cap on a lunch date. It’s always fun at first, but if you overlook it, you’ll find that a month into the relationship, he’s still drinking with buddies every Saturday night instead of spending time being romantic with you. No one wants to end up there, so here are some ways to tell you’re dating a man-boy:
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1. He has roommates past the age of 30: Any man over 30 who still lives with a roommate is simply afraid to give up his college lifestyle. He still likes the idea of living in a mini-fraternity: even without all of his friends, he still has a brotherhood of at least one. He might say he’s just saving money, but it’s more likely that he doesn’t want to grow up, which will keep him from important parts of adult life like commitment.
2. He’s a mama’s boy: This guy’s the worst, but luckily he’ll expose himself immediately. Even on the first or second date, he’ll tell you that he spoke to his mom about you. Whoa! Put the brakes on, man-boy, we don’t even know each other yet. Throughout your partnership, he’ll be constantly seeking validation and approval from his mother. Keep a look out for men like this: they’ll constantly be comparing you to their mothers, and you’ll never be able to measure up.
3. He doesn’t have a plan: A true man-boy will lack focus in many ways. Does your beau always tell you about the things he wants to do, but never actually does them? Does he have any specific ambitions? If he still seems confused about his career and life path by age 30, it’s pretty likely that he’s a man-boy: not the sort of guy with whom you want to connect. Find a man who at least has a game plan, and you’ll find the relationship will go much better.
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4. He still wants to be a weekend warrior: The fourth and final thing about man-boys is that they can never give up a weekend night. They’re constantly drinking with their fellow man-boy buds. Sure, a man-boy will set dates with you, but even then he’ll wind up talking about his friend Jim’s barbeque. Or worse, he’s talking about a man-boy’s favorite pastime: the strip club. This guy can never give up his plans, which rarely involve you. If he can’t skip watching the game for a night with you, he’s not worth your time.
You deserve to meet a manly man–a man who’s ready to break away from the pack and get to know you on a deeper level. Avoid the man-boy and pursue the real man.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author of the new book Naked and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching and his website, his advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe.