Dear Heidi Lee,
Help! I think I’m a Toad!
I’m on an online dating site, and I lie about who I am … I use my sister’s photo. I play down my interests — leaving out that I’m Jim Carrey’s ex and a former Playboy model. I feel guilty for lying, but I can’t be honest because of stalkers, psychos and creeps. I want a regular, low-key guy who can throw back a burger and a beer in a bowling alley …
Don’t these guys have the right to know up front that my world is paparazzi and tabloids? Do I have the right to lure them with false promises of an All-American romance with the girl next door?
Who am I to lie to these men? A Toad?
Even asking such a question shows that you are a strong, lovely and thoughtful woman. Whether a Big Screen Celeb or a Midwest Farmer’s Daughter, you and your future Prince Charming have the right to be honest with each other now.
Fortunately, my friend, you’ve found a Midwestern girl. I understand your unique need for privacy within the Toad Kingdom as well as your pull toward the rugged sexiness of the strong, meat-eating types. In small towns, we are all celebrities in our own right. Toads who recognize us may be interested in our career status, income or somewhat gullible reputations. So, Ms. All American in L.A., let me share a few small town girl strategies to help you avoid the Toad label :
5 Small Town Strategies for a Celebrity
1. Communicate proactively: Initiate conversation first to have control over the flow of it, and reveal yourself as early as appropriate.
2. Go au natural: Use a natural picture of yourself – a naked face with a warm smile — preferably with a shadow from a tree or a ball cap shielding your true identity.
3. Minimize exposure: Hide your profile when you are talking to a handful of promising men.
4. Use geographic camouflage: Register your account using a zip code outside of your location to throw the Toads off your trail.
5. Be a rhinoceros: Grow a thick skin, doll. Even the best laid plans have holes. Not only does a rhino have thick skin, but he or she can crush the Toad in one mighty step.
Most importantly, have fun! I’m proud to hear that you chose online dating to meet “the one“. We Citizens of the Toad Kingdom share good company having you here. Thanks!
P.S. May I offer you a copy of my eBook? How To Toad Proof Your Online Dating Profile
From struggling single mother to Happily Married Author, Marketer, Blogger and Online Dating Professional, Heidi Lee Munson kissed the toads so that you don’t have to. From Couch Potato Toad to Lounge Lizard Toad and Freeloader Toad to Bad Toupee Toad, Heidi Lee kissed them all.