Here it is, your huge, nerve wracking first date. Â After obsessively digging through the mountain range of shoes, dresses, belts and bags in your closet, youâ€™ve nailed down theÂ perfect outfit. Â Your hair looks good and youâ€™ve even managed not to overdo your make-up. Â All signs point toward success.
Lest we forget, as great as you may look, you must â€śwowâ€ť him or her with your intellectual acumen. Â That is, donâ€™t say anything thatâ€™ll earn you a trip back to Match.com. Â Weâ€™ve outlined a few conversational situations to steer away from, should you find yourself talking yourself … into a corner.
1. Avoid Talking About Your Ex:Â Youâ€™d think that people follow this rule to a tee with ardent discipline. Â In truth, it happens a little bit more than you think. Â Itâ€™s easy, as well as unfair, to overtly express comparisons between your new potential mate andÂ past flames. Â The important thing to remember is that the person you are considering is not guilty of the romance crimes yourÂ exÂ committed. Â Show this person youâ€™re interested in them, not how they stack up to someone else.
2. Avoid Talking About Things You Dislike: No one cares that you donâ€™t like movies, spinach or Harry Potter. Â Do you know why? Â Ask yourself if youâ€™ve ever been told to list your â€śdisinterestsâ€ť or â€śdislikes.â€ť Â Your date wants to know what you like so they can treat you to those things. Â Tell them how you like the theatre or going to football games. Â This way, you can determine what you haveÂ in common. Â Discussing the positive things will lead to a second date, and thatâ€™s the goal.
3. Avoid Talking Too Much:Â While not a conversational topic per se, talking too much is a dangerous proposition. Â While thereâ€™s no doubt that your new potential partner will want to find out as much as they can about you, they probably want to talk about themselves a little bit, too. Â After all, they’re just as invested in the conversation as you are and they’re just as nervous. Â Thereâ€™s no harm inÂ sipping your wine, while listening to them talk about whatever they want. Â Being a good listener is an integral pillar in the foundation of a strong relationship and shows you haveÂ communication skills. Â That’s a huge turn on.
4. Avoid Talking About How Much Money You (or They) Make:Â Your careers will be a huge topic on the first date. Â â€śWhat do you do?â€ť is a classic and predictable first date query. Â Generally, youâ€™ll be able to determine how much money this person is making when they tell you theyâ€™re a doctor, public relations professional, lawyer, fry cook or waiter. Â If you donâ€™t feel that you’re of equal pay grade, donâ€™t embarrass them and donâ€™t embarrass yourself. Â While â€śitâ€™s not about money,â€ť both of you should be in stable professional situations. Â Donâ€™t be unfair and make anyone feel awkward though; you can figure this information out for yourself.
5. Avoid Talking About Your Physical Relationships:Â Donâ€™t tell your date your â€śnumber.â€ť Â You will be judged with subdued harshness. Â No matter what anyone says, donâ€™t let thisÂ conversation happen. Â Youâ€™re on this first dateÂ for the purposes of getting to know each other and to have some fun. Â You are, in a sense, auditioning to be in each otherâ€™s lives. Â Donâ€™t screw this up by trying to figure out which one of you is more promiscuous. Â This conversation will happen eventually, so donâ€™t be in a rush to have an awkward conversation with someone you donâ€™t know very well.
What conversations are important to discuss on the first date?Â Share your suggestions below.Â