By now you’ve heard that another Bachelorette and her fiancé have called it quits.  That couple, of course, is Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez.  Although Fedotowsky was seemingly ready to wed right after the show aired, after an 18-month engagement and three postponements, it all finally ended on November 21.  The former bride-to-be had this to say to People: “I wouldn’t be being truthful if I said this came out of nowhere, we definitely had been having problems. But I had always believed that we could work it out.”  The duo tried to make the relationship last, even throughout their arguments.  “We both realized we were unhappy more than we were happy, and we both deserved more.”

How do you know when you’re unhappy more than happy in a relationship?

Cupid’s Advice:

It doesn’t take a scientist to tell us that relationships are hard work, but how do you know when the work and unhappiness outweigh the good times?  Cupid has some tips:

1. Bickering and fighting: This is a tell tale sign that a relationship just isn’t working.  It’s okay to have a few fights here and there (it can even be healthy), but if you’re bickering over tiny things all the time, it’s safe to assume something is wrong.

2. Not spending time together: When you’re in a healthy, loving relationship you should be spending a fair amount of time together.  If you routinely try to avoid one another, it may be time to re-evaluate.

3. Your relationship is stagnant: If it feels like you’re at a stand still in your relationship, take a closer look.  You may be dealing with thoughts that there’s no point to your relationship or you can’t deal with the constant arguing anymore.  If you come to the conclusion that you both want more and that can’t happen together, then it’s time to call it quits.

How do you know when unhappiness in a relationship outweighs happiness? Share your thoughts below.