Lately, the news has been filled with the tragic separation of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver after a long-kept secret surfaced that the former governor of California fathered a child with Mildred Patricia Baena, a housekeeper and assistant in the family home.  This shocking affair, however, also may have resulted in a divorce between Mildred Baena and her former husband, Rogelio de Jesus Baena.  The couple split in 2008 over “irreconcilable differences.”  According to People, contrary to the birth certificate that identifies Rogelio as the father, the divorce documents between the Baenas do not mention any minor children.

How do you get over the trauma of an affair?

Cupid’s Advice:

It can be tough to get over an affair.  In fact, most people who experience this type of trauma in a marriage are never able to salvage their relationships.  However, if you do choose to move on and remain with your partner post-affair, the only way to do it is to spare yourself the details:

1. Two affairs don’t make a marriage: If you choose to forgive your partner’s infidelities, don’t try to make things even by having an affair yourself.  It will only make matters worse and will never make you feel better in the end.

2.  Restore trust: Trust takes a lot of time to restore.  Don’t stay with your partner unless you plan on being patient.  Without trust, you can’t have a healthy relationship.

3.  Don’t ask about the details: If you’re going to move on, you can’t do so with images in your head of your partner with someone else.  Stick to a don’t ask don’t tell policy, at least as far as vivid descriptions are concerned.

If you have ever been with a partner who had an affair, we want to hear your story. Comment below.