Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: How To Get Over A Break Up With Someone You Were Never Dating?Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: How To Get Over A Break Up With Someone You Were Never Dating?

By Megan Weks

We are afraid to say we want something real. We ease into the relationship secretly hoping it will turn into something of substance. We keep quiet. We don’t want to “scare him away” by getting serious all of a sudden. Maybe you tried that before and nothing changed. Maybe you still went along with it trying to be “cool” and telling yourself, “I can handle it.” Meanwhile, you’re busy quietly nursing a dull heartache behind the scenes. You weren’t even dating but it’s fading away. You know it’s ending. You try to reignite it. You were hoping for more. He wasn’t even your boyfriend. Why does this hurt so badly? The answer may surprise you.

Getting over someone you weren’t with

It hurts so much because you are breaking your own heart.

The time is now to figure out what you truly want in your heart. It’s not shameful or embarrassing to want love. We are born to love and be loved. The sooner you can look in the mirror and say, “I want love, “ without feeling any tightness, heat, or other emotional reaction related to a bit of judgment you have for yourself. The sooner you can look him in his eyes and softly declare that you’re looking for something of substance. You are looking for an incredible human to share your life with. The sooner you can put this out into the world with the current of love behind it, the sooner the universes and men will respond with the same.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How To Put Yourself Out There After a Break-up

Wishy-washy intentions get wishy-washy results.

When you’re out there accepting crumbs from men, the universe is watching.

When you’re holding something in and he can feel it, he is watching.

It actually lowers your value in his eyes when he can tell you’re accepting less than you want and deserve.

He knows.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Handle A Heartbreak

It’s your job to get in touch with your true desires and start communicating that upfront before you end up in another unfulfilling or imaginary relationship where you’re breaking your own heart.

Exercise: Design your relationship on paper in a paragraph that is colorful with how it feels to be in the relationship you want. What do you do for fun? How do you communicate with one another? How do you feel in this relationship? What to accept in this relationship and what do you not accept. Write it all in the present tense.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How To Move On After Being Ghosted

Set your intention and stand by what you want. Don’t allow yourself to get tangled up in something that doesn’t serve you. It’s the epitome of self-love to follow your heart and speak your truth in order to line yourself up with the relationship you want.

For more information about dating expert Megan Weks, visit her website at www.meganweks.com. For more expert relationship advice articles from Megan, click here.