Question from Kirstie W: When my boyfriend and I first started dating, our texts were fun and exciting. When we saw each other at the end of the day, we still had a lot to talk about even though we had been texting all day. After being together for six years, texting is non-exisant and when we do see each other all we talk about is work. Conversation is getting stale; help!

Long-term relationships face unique challenges. Conversations can be much more in depth because you know each other better. At the same time, conversations can run dry because you already know so much about each other. After awhile, talks are less about discovery and more about supporting each other. This dating advice from relationship experts Suzanne Oshima and Robert Manni will help bring excitement back into any relationship!

Dating Advice for When Relationships Go Stale

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: Ironically, the effectiveness of our communication with our partners can be damaged by the technology that we surround ourselves with every day. When you’re both busy and working throughout the day, it can be difficult to keep in touch and talk about work over technology. When you get home, try to make it a rule to only talk about work for the first 30 minutes of your conversation, and make sure it’s about something you need advice or insight on from your spouse.

After that, focus on your relationship and the fun things about your life together, whether it be date nights, your love, or future plans. This way, you’ll be able to foster an environment at home with your relationship as the focus without the noise and distraction of technology between you. Keep things real by engaging in face-to-face conversations, and you’ll feel much more connected with your partner as a result.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: How Do You Handle Dating Someone with an Internet Persona? 

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: The issue here transcends technology. It seems that your day-to-day relationship has become expected and you’re counting on technology to solve your problem. Technology can be a helpful tool for keeping the connection strong, but it’s a means to an end. I’m sure your partner would welcome fun and sexy text exchanges throughout the day, but the real issue is finding ways of maintaining true intimacy when you are together.

I suggest making it a priority to live in the moment when in each other’s company. That means being present: verbally, physically, and even spiritually to maintain your loving connection. Try discussing more than your work when you meet up, even after a hard day. Make it a priority to share meals, drinks, physical intimacy, and your true selves on a regular basis. Technology provides a way of staying connected during the work day, but the most important way to keep the embers glowing is to make the most of your time when you are face to face. Good luck.

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