Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Why You and Your Partner are Constantly ArguingCupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Why You and Your Partner are Constantly Arguing

By Joshua Pompey 

I’d love to sit here and pretend that I was always Mr. Perfect when it came to relationships — I am a relationship expert after all! But I had to learn the relationship advice that I offer. When I look back at my younger days, I had one specific relationship that was not only far from perfect but downright unhealthy. The arguments would come in like clockwork. No matter how many times I would say, “This is the last fight,” a new argument inevitably came around sooner rather than later.

Fast forward to the present with my beautiful wife, and I can happily say that our fights are almost non-existent. We’ll have one small argument every few months — if that. So, what brought the turn-around? Here are a few reasons that my former self was always arguing in a previous relationship as well as some possible signs that you may need to end your own relationship. With this expert dating advice, you too can build a healthy relationship that’s free of arguing.

Relationship Expert Shares Expert Dating Advice About Arguing

1. I was with the wrong person: This may sound oversimplified, but sometimes, things are more clear when you take a step back and think about how you are living your life. My ex and I weren’t right for each other, so we argued constantly. If I said a table was black, she’d argue it was brown. No matter what the topic was, we were always butting heads. We may have both been nice people at heart, but that doesn’t mean we were nice people who should’ve been in a relationship together.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How Do You Know When It’s Right to Move in with Someone?

2. My partner was resistant to change: Even during times in my life when I wasn’t perfect, I was always the type of guy who wanted to grow and become a better person. During my younger years, I had some relationship habits that were ingrained in me from the experiences I had throughout my childhood. We are the product of our environment and upbringing in many ways, right?

But the key difference was that, while I was always attempting to improve, my partner never self-reflected or sought to change her own bad habits. My ability to self-improve allowed me to grow in relationships, and it even took me as far as becoming a relationship expert. When one person in a relationship is trying to change and the other person is resistant, it leads to resentment and, ultimately, to much more arguing. Life is about growth, and nobody is perfect. Both partners must acknowledge this truth and, more importantly, work on it.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: Is it Lust or Love?

3. My former partners didn’t know how to handle me: One of the most amazing things about my wife is that she knows how to deal with my moods. Like all people in life, I have a bad day or react poorly. It’s rare, but it happens. My wife knows how to handle me because she understands that I’m human. Sometimes, she must be firm and intolerant when she realizes the motivation for my reaction is out of line. Other times, her reaction is to just let me have my peace and not turn it into anything serious because she knows I’m just having a bad moment. Because these instances are extremely rare, these approaches work.

On the other hand, in my previous serious relationships, if I ever did something wrong or made a mistake, my partner would go on the offensive, antagonizing me and pushing my buttons. This is far from conducive to a loving relationship. It’s important that our partners accept that we are human and that we will make mistakes. Remember that every mistake shouldn’t lead to a massive argument.

For more expert dating advice from relationship expert Joshua Pompey, click here