By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and dating coach Cyndi Olin about three ways to break your dating patterns — and every woman has them, so don’t think that you don’t! Listen to their expert dating advice in the video above.

Relationship Experts Discuss How to Break Your Dating Patterns


1. Date more than one person: “A lot of women don’t date,” Olin warns. “They just get into relationship after relationship.” Instead, date more than one person at a time. Men often do the same thing, but they may not share it with you. Stand in your power and explain your motivations. Say something like, “I like to take my time in important areas of my life, and getting to know someone takes time.” Remember that the wrong guys will walk away, but the right ones will stick around. “Be committed to dating and opening up that journey,” she adds.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Ask for help when it comes to your blind spots: “You need to get really clear about what you deeply desire in a partnership and what you’re not willing to accept,” the dating coach explains. Think about those fabulous five must-haves that you want in a partner. It doesn’t take a lot of time to figure out if someone aligns with you, but asking someone who supports you for help will make it even easier to see the truth. “It can be very difficult to unfold on your own — it can take some dissecting when it comes to getting clear,” she says. It’s even more difficult if you have a lot of chemistry with someone — you become blinded by your emotions!

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know

3. Focus on what you want: If you want big love and a partnership that lasts a lifetime, set that intention, take the inspired action to move forward, and let go of the outcome. “That can be easier said than done, but if you’re following the first two steps, you really can let go,” Olin shares. “Look at what worked well for you in the past, what didn’t work well. Is there a golden thread in your past relationships?”

“We all have patterns — I guarantee it,” she says. “And they can all be broken.”

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