By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about whether or not you should trust your intuition when you feel like something is off with your new partner. The short answer is, “Yes.” Watch the video above to understand why!

Relationship Author Duana Welch Is Interviewed in Dating Advice Video

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“I recently heard that there’s research that shows that we actually have a nerve the connects our stomach to our brain that gives us a true ‘gut feeling,'” Welch shares. “And what I know for sure is that people report that feeling and that their intuition leads them to good things.” Expanding on this idea, the relationship author says that we have a side of our brain that is unconscious and gives us information that we don’t have access to when we’re conscious.

We also have an adaptation. “An adaptation is something that has evolved,” Welch explains. “It’s a spontaneous genetic change that happened in antiquity and was favorable enough that it gave that organism’s offspring better odds of surviving, creating, or both.” For example, all bucks have antlers — because if they don’t pass that gene along, they won’t be able to survive.

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So the question, then, becomes: Why would nature give us all of these gifts and not give us a way to be able to tell when we are going to be prey? “I think we can all think of a time when we thought, ‘Oh, this guy — there’s something off about him, but I’m not being fair right now. I’m just going to learn more about him until I find out if my intuition is right,'” she reveals. “Well, some women don’t survive to find out that there intuition was correct.” In fact, the number one cause of murder or violent death to women between the ages of 15 and 50 is a male partner who got jealous or was controlling.

Welch concludes, “If your gut is telling you that this guy is dangerous, do not collect more data. Don’t. Just stop seeing him.”

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