By TraceyAnne, Relationship Coach and Founder of FindThatMach.com

When it comes to love and connection with our loved ones, I find it astounding some of the things that I see on reality TV. Kendra on Top, Real House Wives of Beverley Hills, and Keeping Up With the Kardashians to name but a few, all depict a world that most of us do not live in. The fast cars and expensive seemingly superficial lifestyles don’t resonate with us much. These “celebrities” appear to have everything and all done for them from their hair and make-up to holidays planed and designed for them. Our attraction, I believe, is seeing a mix of a world we might like to one day inhabit and the relationships that are very much just like the ones that we have in our own circles.

This dating advice can help you keep reality TV from negatively affecting your relationship.

To see people who appear to ‘have it all’ fall out with and argue with their close friends, family and spouses can in a weird way give us a sense of comfort. You see, we only get to view the edited versions, so we have no idea what information we’re missing. The communication that we see is bad, short and misses so many vital points that I always find myself thinking, “For goodness sake! Perhaps if they had a real conversation about what was really happening, they might be able to get their stuff together.” Alas, we watch these shows and it teaches us nothing, just that relationships are hard work and full of drama. Drama that viewers believe is passion and chemistry and what all relationships should have. Relationships take work. A few pieces of advice:

1. Listen to what they’re really saying.
So often you will see an argument play out that is more about circumstance. These people are fighting in their own corner and simply want to be heard and more likely want to be the person who is ‘right’. If they (and us at home) would communicate our feelings, it would honestly move mountains. The real issues would be spoken about and the couples could find some common ground to move forward.

Related Link: Do Your Friends Influence Your Relationship?

2. Don’t be fooled by romantic gestures.
On these TV shows we see the romance of being taken out to dinner, bought flowers and diamonds and it makes us stop and think ‘hang on where is this in my life, I don’t get that’ well I implore you to take stock and think about how many times your other half has made a romantic gesture. Really think about it, I bet they do, and if they don’t how often do you? Romance is a two way street!

Related Link: ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ Reality TV Star Marisa Saks Says Listening Is Key

3. Don’t allow yourself to become suspicious.
We sometimes see couples on reality TV get cheated on and hurt. I by no means am suggesting that you ignore or block out if you think your partner may be cheating, what I am saying, is that if you watch these TV shows and your role models are cheaters you may start to become suspicious.

TraceyAnne, a Relationship Coach and founder of FindThatMach.com; a unique online relationship and dating course helping people find love and what they truly want in life.