By Joshua Pompey

The moment has come. The bill arrives. Sweat trickles down the back of your neck once the server drops the checkbook at your table. What do you do?  Do you let him pay for the meal? Or do you sit there awkwardly while he reaches for his wallet? Ah, the age old question that relationship experts love to answer. If you’re looking for dating advice that will help you navigate this dilemma, take into consideration the different scenarios that can arise on a first date.

Dating Advice On Splitting The Bill With Your Date

The dating advice that I provide you will vary depending on the context of the situation. Suppose a man invited you out to an expensive restaurant or took you somewhere that costs a lot of money, without you being aware of the situation ahead of time. In this case, you really shouldn’t be reaching for your wallet. It’s not on you to cover an expensive bill that someone else imposed upon you.

But in any other situation, you should at least reach for your wallet at the minimum. This motion is less about the actual act of paying, and more about what it reveals about you as a person. When you reach for your wallet, you aren’t just letting him know that you are willing to pay. You are communicating that you are considerate, interested, and trying to do the right thing. A man will notice and process this, even if he quickly waves you off.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How Do You Know When It’s Right To Move In With Someone?

Back when I was single, this was something that I always looked for on a first date, and I know for a fact that most men do as well. When we’re on dates and someone sits there as the check comes without even flinching, we start to wonder if she expects to always be taken care of, and even worse, will wonder if she is innately selfish. This may not be you at all, and maybe you’ve mentally planned on paying for something on a second date, but remember, it’s a first date and he still doesn’t know you very well. A man’s perception of you is based solely on the limited amount of time that they’re engaged with you on a first date. In the event that the man waves you off, just smile and say, “Okay, but next time the first round is on me!”  And in the event that he doesn’t wind up waving you off, that shouldn’t be a big deal either, even if you don’t like him.  As a rule of thumb, don’t accept a date if you can’t afford to partially contribute.  And if him not paying bothers you, then maybe it’s a sign he’s not your type anyway.

Related Link: Relationship Advice On Financial Infidelity

At the end of the day, what most quality men want (pending they don’t have unresolved mommy issues) is a woman who is down to earth and considerate. The more you make this clear with the things you say and the actions you do, the easier it will be to avoid unnecessary relationship problems in the future regarding finances. You don’t want to start any partnership with unequal footing. Having a guy shoulder the bill all the time is a sure way to stir some resentment. The best dating tip that I can offer is to at least give it a try.

Joshua Pompey is an online dating and relationship expert.  If you need help getting to that first date, visit his world famous profile writing service and sign up for a free profile evaluation here.