Question from Carrie F.: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year, and lately, I’ve been worried that he’s talking to an ex behind my back. Is it okay if I look for proof on his phone before I confront him? I don’t want to say anything to him unless I’m 100 percent sure.

If you’re looking for dating advice about whether or not it’s ever okay to go through your partner’s phone, keep reading to find out what our relationship experts advise!

Dating Advice About Going Through His Phone

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: While no one wants to find out that their boyfriend is still talking to his ex, a sure-fire way to kill your relationship is with your insecurity. If you think he’s still talking to his ex, ask him in a curious and non-confrontational way. Then, watch his reaction. If he doesn’t have anything to hide, he may mention that he keeps in touch with her in a non-romantic way. If there is something going on, he’ll probably get defensive and try to cover things up. Either way, if you want the relationship to last, it’s important to be able to trust each other and have open communication.

Related Link: Relationship Experts Q&A: Does Social Media Stalking Create False Intimacy?

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV StarAfter a year of dating, you and your partner should be able to communicate truthfully and openly, so if you’re feeling uncomfortable about him keeping in touch with his ex, talk to him. Snooping in his phone might make it worse, as he may get defensive and angry, which will put you both in a bad spot. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking with him, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship and see if it’s worth the confrontation.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: 5 Ways to Know Your Partner is Lying to You

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: The answer is no. Successful relationships are built on trust, honesty, and clear communication. Snooping in a partner’s phone is a breach of trust on your part. I doubt you would approve of his perusing your personal correspondence behind your back! If for some reason you’re concerned that your guy is still in touch with his ex, just ask him. You will get a response. Then, you can decide if what he says is acceptable or if a deeper conversation about your relationship and expectations from one another is necessary. Above all, approach the process from a position of respect for your partner, your relationship, and, most importantly, yourself.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

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What’s your best piece of dating advice when it comes to going through your partner’s phone? Share in the comments below!