By Sarah Ribeiro

Every town, no matter how small, has special hotspots. Some cities have historic sites that draw crowds or a landmark that’s famous nationally. Others just have beautiful locales in the nooks and crannies of town that only the locals know about. This weekend, you and your sweetheart can see the sights as an insider without having to leave your hometown.

The first step for this touristy date is to find out what’s unique about your hometown. Does it have a factory that specializes in a weird or impressive trade? Is the water there bluer — or browner — than anywhere else in the country? Check a Tourist Directory to see what attractions are in your town or nearby. There may even be something that you and your partner have never visited or even heard of before.

Then, take on the role of the tourist couple. This date requires a bit of acting skill, but it’s worth the fun. Pretend you and your love are new to the area and have never been to any of these sightseeing spots. You can even grab some friends who aren’t familiar with the area to add on to the illusion of being a visitor to your town.

Grab a camera and head to your nearby tourist attraction. If it’s a sightseeing location or a physical landmark, you and your partner can take turns posing in front of the spot and get a few shots of the two of you as a couple. You can also soak up the beautiful scenery. Some great sightseeing sites are lighthouses, rose gardens, rivers, or even weird monuments, like Muffler Men or the Jolly Green Giant statute in Minnesota.

If you’re hitting up a historic site, try and get a guided tour. Places like the Freedom Trail in Boston offer guided tours with a thematic twist — all the tour guides dress up as historical figures or as colonials. It’s worth the money: not only will you learn a lot, but you and your honey won’t have to worry about getting lost as you wander around a historical neighborhood.

The best part about this date is that you don’t have to travel too far. It’s a great way to explore your hometown and learn about where you live while spending an entire day doing something new with your significant other.

Have you ever taken a tourist-style date in your own hometown? Share your comments below.

By April Littleton

People reports Salma Hayek recently opened up to InStyle magazine about working hard to look good for her spouse, François-Henri Pinault. She told the magazine, “I’m not really a fashionista. I have an eye. I can pull it together, but a lot of the effort I make is for my husband, because I want him to be attracted to me.” The 47-year-old actress also described one of her husband’s favorite looks to see on her. She said, “I actually wear a lot of leather on the red carpet. My husband loves when I wear it.”

How do you make your partner happy with your style?

Cupid’s Advice:

Every woman wants to look good for her man. It wouldn’t make anyone feel good to know that their significant other doesn’t appreciate their choice of clothing. Are you secretly dying to get that stamp of approval from your beau? Cupid has some advice:

1. Rock it: Truth be told, it really doesn’t matter what you have on as long as you’re wearing it with confidence. Your significant other is going to notice if you’re feeling uncomfortable with how you look, so don’t wear something just because you think they’ll like it. Wear what makes you happy. Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? If you do, make sure that positive attitude projects outward to others. Be proud of your fashion sense and rock whatever you have on with fierceness.

2. Wear clothes that fit: Wearing a dress that is two sizes too small isn’t exactly flattering to your figure, and your partner won’t like the attention you draw to yourself either. If you’re on the heavier side, don’t hide your curves by wearing loose fitting clothing – wearing black will make you look slimmer.

3. Show off your assets: Buy clothes that accentuate your best features, not distort them. If your beau loves your shoulders, wear a sleeveless shirt. Does he love your long legs? Try a fitted skirt.  Show a little cleavage by wearing a V-neck, but make sure to keep it classy.

How do you make your partner happy with your style? Comment below.

By April Littleton

Rumor has it that Jennifer Aniston has put a halt to her wedding plans – at least for now. Justin Theroux and the former Friends actress have decided to slow down on their plans to walk down the aisle to focus on their separate careers. Both actors have signed up for upcoming movie projects. A source who knows the couple professionally told People, “There are other priorities (besides marriage).”Another insider said, “They need to figure out a way to create a life that makes them both happy. Still, Jen can’t wait to be (Justin’s) wife.”

What are some reasons to delay your wedding?

Cupid’s Advice:

Postponing a wedding is never an easy decision, but it might just be the best thing for you and your partner to do. Unforeseen events can happen that will make continuing on with wedding plans almost impossible, but this shouldn’t be a discouragement from the idea of marriage altogether. Cupid has some advice:

1. The stress: Sometimes the stress of planning a wedding can be overwhelming for a bride, especially if you’re doing it without much help. When this happens, it’s OK to take a break and get the focus back on the actual relationship, or maybe call in some reinforcements to help with the planning. Just because the wedding is postponed doesn’t mean you won’t get the chance to marry your significant other. It just means the wedding won’t happen when you originally planned it.

2. Careers: In some situations, weddings will need to be put on hold because of the careers of the bride, the groom or both. You or your partner might get that promotion you’ve always dreamed of and may need to relocate to a new city. If this happens, you and your partner will need to decide on a new place of residence. Until you get all of that settled, you won’t have much time to think about marriage.

3. Unexpected death: One of the most common reasons many couples delay their wedding is because of a sudden death of a family member or friend. It wouldn’t feel right to hold a wedding when so many people around you are in mourning. If you have to deal with an unfortunate situation like this, it would be wise to push back the wedding until after the grieving period has passed.

Did you have to delay your wedding or know some other reasons why it should be delayed? Comment below.

By Dr. Tranquility — Lydia Belton, PhD, Ct. H.A.

Let’s face it, dating can be stressful but “participatory anxiety,” as we say in the mental health community, is completely normal. What’s important is that you deal with this anxiety in a healthy manner. That’s why, I’ve provided some tips below to alleviate dating nerves.

Step 1: Focus on all of the things that make you the unique, wonderful person that you are. We are all beautiful in our own way and we should accentuate those features that make us feel good about ourselves. For example, if a favorite outfit or blazer brings out the best in you, then make sure you wear it on your date. Doing so will help ease your nerves and remind you of how attractive and amazing you are. Confidence is always sexy!

Related: Single Advice: Can You Handle Casual Dating?

Step 2: Take the time to get to know your prospective partner by calling him or her up before the date. A pre-date phone conversation can be a laid-back way for you two to chat about your shared likes, dislikes, hobbies, favorite foods, sports teams and so on. This can be a crucial conversation that sets the foundation for the date itself- especially if  you have never met yet. Think of it as a crash course in getting to know each other. You won’t have to worry about running out of things to say on your date if you’ve already established mutual interests and favorite topics of conversation. If you’ve utilized Date Therapy, your date will be someone who is right for you on all levels, someone with whom you share similar values and beliefs. Established sexual boundaries and similar expectations can (though don’t always) determine if your date is a one time thing or the beginning of a new relationship.

Step 3: Take time to prep for your date. Make sure that you choose your outfit and get your hair and nails done ahead of time- especially if your date is scheduled right after work. During your pre-date phone call, it’s also helpful to decide on the location of your date so that you can prepare to dress appropriately. A pre-planned outfit will alleviate some of your pre-date jitters and ensure that you are confident and comfortable.

Step 4: As many of you know, boundaries are a favorite topic of mine because they’re so important. Healthy boundaries are a necessary component of a good relationship. You should always be true to yourself and partake in activities that make you feel comfortable. If you find yourself feeling pressured to be someone that you’re not, then you need to seriously reevaluate who you’re with because something isn’t right.

Step 5: Have fun! Dating is a process. Not every date will be “the one.” Dating is about gaining confidence, meeting new people and enjoying yourself. Lighten up on yourself and others and get out there! Above all else, remember that every date offers us the opportunity to grow in self-confidence and maybe even make a new friend. Friendships can evolve and are often the foundations for strong relationships later on down the road.

Developed by Lydia Belton PhD, Ct.H.A., Date Therapy® is an effective protocol that helps people get in touch with their criteria for an ideal mate. DrTranquility’s protocols® have been featured most recently on Forbes.com & Yahoo, ABCNEWS.com, ABC’s the View, KISS FM, CupidsPulse.com, Metromix for the Chicago Tribune, British Glamour, REDBOOK, Cosmopolitan Magazine & promoted by Match.com.

By Tina Swithin, HopeAfterDivorce Expert

The term, “narcissist” seems to be spreading through the world like an out-of-control wildfire. The term itself doesn’t always have a negative connotation since, ironically, we are all narcissistic by nature and there actually is a certain degree of self-love that is healthy.  However, there is a line that separates healthy confidence from the über toxic Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  That’s what we need to be mindful of when we date someone.

The celebrity world seems to be brimming over with unhealthy narcissism.  The spotlight that shines in Hollywood is highly attractive to a person with NPD. Celebrities are equipped with fame and power, which feed a narcissist’s ego. While many celebrities forge a balance through grace and humility, there is a significant number who bathe in the spotlight in complete self-indulgence.

Related Link: Short Term Celebrity Marriages (Learn From Their Mistakes)

In 2006, Dr. Drew Pinsky and Mark Young conducted a scientific study with over 200 celebrities using the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI). The results showed that celebrities are 17.84% more narcissistic than the general public. It isn’t surprising, given that most aspiring celebrities are driven by fame, money, and admiration. What better place for a narcissist to be than in the limelight? It’s the equivalent of flipping on the porch light and watching moths come to life!

There are a vast number of celebrities who display many characteristics of narcissism (if not full blown NPD) such as Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. While many people enter the celebrity arena with pre-existing characteristics of NPD, their egos balloon to extreme levels with every flash of the paparazzi camera, VIP entrance admission, limo service, and autograph request. These things often lead to a sense of entitlement as Reece Witherspoon displayed during her husband’s DUI arrest.

Related Link: Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth Arrested and Jailed for DUI and Disorderly Conduct

When it comes to the business world, narcissists are generally successful individuals. This is why the political arena and corporate scene is another area with a high concentration of NPD. These individuals generally attract their mates with their charisma, larger-than-life persona and their successful careers. Those with extreme NPD believe that they are the best, and such confidence can certainly be attractive. Narcissists consider themselves special and those who are accepted into their circle must be special by default.

Prince Charming

In 2000, I met a charismatic man named Seth who offered me the world on a silver platter. There were times in which I questioned whether our courtship was too good to be true. His parents had been married for 25 years, he was on his way up in a very promising career and I felt like I was living a fairytale. Seth told me all of the things that I wanted to hear and showered me with poems, flowers, shopping sprees, and vacations. My friends and family stood by in awe as this modern day Prince Charming wooed me and everyone around me. While there were red flags, the good outweighed the bad in the first few years and I swept my concerns under the rug and left them there.

Six years into our marriage, I sat on a therapist’s couch and confided in the woman sitting across from me. I told her about Seth’s lies and the manipulations which included financial schemes, stealing his parent’s retirement savings and racking up 1.6 million dollars in debt — much of this was done behind my back. I described Seth’s lack of remorse and his inability to show empathy. I explained that I had never felt so alone and unloved in my life. In a six-year period of time, I had been reduced to a shell of my former self. When I looked in the mirror, I was ashamed of the fake life that we were living. To those around us we were the golden couple, but behind closed doors my life was a living hell.

My therapist walked across the room and handed me a book from her bookshelf.  The words seemed to jump off of the page, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder.” To my naïve mind, it was thrilling to have a name for the hell that I was living. With a name, there was hope, or so I thought.  My therapist went on to explain that NPD is not curable and that, in fact, most mental health professionals will not treat those with this personality disorder. Her next words stung, “You either learn to live with this or you leave. There is no cure.”

Related Link: Finding Your True Destiny After Losing Love

I spent the next year and a half trying to block out my therapist’s words. However, our marriage finally ended in 2009.  In short order, I discovered that the only thing worse than being married to a narcissist is divorcing a narcissist. I quickly went from a 4,000 square foot luxury home to a local women’s shelter.  From there, I spent two years fearing for my life, sleeping with a hammer under my pillow and holding a can of mace in my hands as I made scrambled eggs for breakfast. I jumped at every noise. My modern day Prince Charming was actually a modern day Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Part of my healing has come from educating others on the red flags that I chose to ignore in the beginning of our relationship. I have listed them out for you below:

10 Red Flags

1. Excessive charm: Question a person that seems too good to be true. Narcissists are masters at wooing their targets. If you are receiving tickets to your favorite ballet and bouquets of flowers larger than your Christmas tree before the third date, you may be dating a narcissist. Offers to whisk you away to Paris for New Year’s Eve are fabulous but could be considered odd behavior if you just met last week and don’t know his middle name!

2. Overly confident: A healthy dose of self-esteem is a good thing, but remain cautious if he seems to be the president of his own fan club. In short order, you are likely to become the secretary of that fan club.

3. Haughty: Pay attention to elitist comments and general arrogance toward those who are “beneath” him. Narcissists will often put down co-workers, friends, and even family members. People with NPD are skilled at making you believe that they are superior. If you find yourself in their chosen circle, this attitude can rub off. Being chosen by someone so superior must mean that you too are superior, right? Wrong. That feeling will be short-lived. Trust me.

4. Bragging: Narcissists do not care about your feelings, views, or opinions. Narcissists are generally too obsessed with telling you how great they are to even ask about you. Their bragging rights carry over to a wide variety of topics including their family, heritage, money, cars, physical appearance, elite gym memberships, clothing and shoes.

5. Grandiosity: Narcissists seem to live by the phrase, “Go big or go home.” They like to be seen and known. Grandiosity is often their middle name. A narcissist will pick up an enormous group drink tab or buy everyone in the bar a round of shots. Their motivation is to be showy and to attract attention. These gestures could be easily interpreted as kindness, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. While a narcissist is signing the tab for drinks, he is also scanning the group to take inventory on how he can personally use each person to maintain his inflated self-image.

6. Success: There is a reason why the political and celebrity arenas are brimming over with narcissists. Narcissists are often found in leadership roles where they have free reign to dominate and dazzle those around them. They flourish in big cities where there is less accountability and less risk of developing a reputation that will haunt them.

7. The Band-Aid: Narcissists are professional Band-Aids. They will seek out your weaknesses (abandonment issues, poor self-image, etc.) and will morph themselves into your savior. Whatever voids you have, they will fill. This may sound great, but it will not last. Once you are hooked on them, they will rip off the Band-Aid and leave you bleeding.

8. Hypersensitivity: Fluctuations between extreme confidence and extreme insecurity seem to be a common trait with narcissists. They will often perceive non-existent criticism and will respond by shutting down and sulking, or acting out in a rage. Any interpreted attack or criticism against the narcissist is dealt with in an unhealthy manner. In his mind, you are either with him or against him; there is no gray area.

9. Moving Quickly: Narcissists have a tendency to move at the speed of light. Has he extended an invitation to meet his parents after the second date? Did he have towels monogrammed with your initials as a gift for your first sleepover? These are red flags. By the way, beware of the monogrammed towels. I haven’t found any studies to back my claim but there is something very suspicious about people with their initials sewn into hand towels!

10. Lying: You may initially notice a few white or grey lies. Take stock of these. Expert manipulators are well versed at twisting reality until you find yourself doubting reality.

Anyone in the dating world should be well versed on the red flags of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Dr. Craig Malkin, author, clinical psychologist and Instructor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School provides a list of five early warning signs to watch for in his recent article in the Huffington Post which discusses narcissism in the dating world. “In real life, the most dangerous villains rarely advertise their malevolence,” states Dr. Malkin. This could be why narcissists are commonly known as wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Tina Swithin is the author of “Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle” and the popular blog, “One Mom’s Battle”. Tina is a Huffington Post contributor. She is also a contributing writer and expert for HopeAfterDivorce.org and FamilyShare.com, LAFamily.com, and CupidsPulse.com. Tina’s writing covers sensitive topics including, how to navigate your way through a high conflict divorce. She is a family and child advocate. Tina is happily married, and resides in sunny California with her two daughters and three-legged tortoise named, Oliver.

By Kerri Sheehan

According to UsMagazine.com, the Kardashian-Jenner clan will not be going through a divorce any time soon. Kendall Jenner, the 17-year-old daughter of Kris and Bruce Jenner, dismissed claims that her parents are heading to splitsville. “It’s just stupid; that’s not true,” said Kendall when asked about reports that said otherwise.

How do you keep gossip from affecting your relationship?

Cupid’s Advice:

Rumors have a tendency to tear even the strongest lovers apart. Cupid has some advice about how to keep gossip from affecting your relationship:

1. Find the source: Going to the source of the problem will often help you resolve the issue at hand. Figure out why the rumor developed in the first place as this will help you decipher if it means more than you think. Relationships can be made or broken with theses lies.

2. Be confident: The rumor at hand is about your life, so you’re the only one who knows the whole truth. If you and your lover remain confident about the situation and don’t act defeated then those around you are more likely to believe the lies being spread.

3. Stick by those who support you: Whoever started the gossip is probably looking to get a rise out of you or else tear you down. Don’t let them! Stay close to your support system and people who you know you can trust. Don’t let gossip get between you and your partner.

How do you deal with gossip? Share below.

By David Wygant

How do you get a man to commit? This is the one million dollar question I get asked every single day.

My answer is that first off, you need to make a commitment to yourself because it all starts from knowing and loving who you are. You can’t get a man to commit until you’ve accomplished this and until you’ve worked through any relationship issues. This includes dealing with all of your past relationships and knowing exactly what makes you happy.

How can you get a man to commit if you don’t really know what makes you happy? The biggest mistake women make is that they don’t know what they want from a relationship. They don’t understand their own needs and desires. So ask yourself, what are your needs, wants, and desires?

Related Link: What Does Unconditional Love Look Like?

One of the biggest questions that I help women answer during my seminars is how do you want to be loved? You really need to think about this question. Take a moment right now and write down exactly how you want to be loved. What would it feel like to be with your perfect man? How do you want to be touched?  How do you want to be held?  How do you want to be listened to? What’s the sex like? Write down every single detail about how you want this relationship to feel in your heart, because that’s the key to understanding what type of man you want.

If you don’t figure  this out first then you’re going to end up trying to get the wrong man to commit to you because you’ll be dating men based on potential. Let me tell you, this is a huge mistake women make and they do it all the time. They think he’s going to be more loving when he stops working or that he’s going to be more attentive when he has less stress. Forget the excuses, forget what it will be like after. You need to know how you want to feel right now because that’s the most important thing in the world.

Related Link: How Not to Scare a New Man Away

So, how do you get the right guy to commit once you know these things? You satisfy his needs, wants, and desires. You find out exactly how he wants to be loved. What’s important to him? How does he like to be talked to? What’s important to him sexually? What’s important to him mentally?  What’s important to him emotionally? Then, you ask yourself can you meet those needs? Can you actually look this man right in the eyes and know that you can fulfill him and every desire he has?

A man commits to a woman when that woman fulfills his needs. One of the key things is that you need to love somebody the way they want to be loved and not the way you want to be loved. True love is allowing yourself to step outside of your boundaries. To step outside of your comfort zone and not be afraid to love them based on their needs, wants, and desires.

Related Link: Is He In It for the Long Haul?

As a man, I have no problem committing to a woman that will satisfy my needs, wants, and desires, because that’s what I want to do for her and she should expect it from me. That’s how simple this whole thing can be. That’s how easy it is. That is how you meet each other’s needs, with an open heart.

You’ll know when a guy doesn’t want to settle down with you if he’s not trying to satisfy you on all levels and if you’re constantly battling him to love you the way you want. Listen, relationships should be easy and fulfilling. You shouldn’t settle for a boyfriend that gives you anything less. After all, why would you? The next time you’re in a relationship if he’s not satisfying you then he obviously doesn’t want the same things as you. Maybe he’s not ready to be in a committed, healthy, loving relationship. And if he isn’t, why waste your time with him?

You deserve that healthy, committed, loving relationship that’s going to make your heart pound; a relationship that’s going to satisfy you; and above all a relationship that’s going to make you feel complete.

David Wygant is a dating coach and author of Always Talk to Strangers and Naked. For more relationship advice you can follow him on Twitter @DavidWygant, facebook.com/therealdavidwygant, or check out his website http://www.davidwygant.com/

By Kerri Sheehan

The host of Top Chef Masters, Curtis Stone and actress Lindsay Price walked down the aisle this Saturday in Spain, according to People. Stone and Price had one son together back in 2011 before getting engaged in 2012. When asked about his honey Stone said, “She is a real sweetheart and I am lucky to have found her.

How do you know when you’re ready to tie the knot?

Cupid’s Advice:

Transitioning from relationship to marriage is a lot harder than it sounds. Cupid has some advice about how to know when to make the move:

1. Trust: For a relationship to be able to make the leap to marriage the couple must trust each other above all else. If you don’t have a shared trust then the foundation of your union is a weak one.

2. Life Goals: One thing that often causes divorce is when the two parties simply want different things out of life. If one of you wants kids and the other doesn’t then you could be in for the fight of the century.

3. Communication: This component of marriage is vital. To make a marriage work you must be able to talk freely about any issues that arise.

Do you think you’re ready to tie the knot? Share below.

By Susan Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking

Before you take the loooong walk down the aisle, make sure you are mature enough to make that commitment for better or for worse!  Miley and Liam have been getting cold feet for years. Now, and before you warm up to the idea of getting hitched, hear matchmaker and relationship expert, Susan Trombetti’s reasons why you may want to say “I don’t” until you are older.

Top 5 Reasons Why Not to Get Married So Young:

1. Money Matrimony Mess

Unless you have a decent savings account, think twice before you book that chapel.  Money is the number one reason couples divorce, so take some time to allow yourself and your hedge fund to mature. It is sad to say, but financial stability usually leads to marriage stability. No money, no fun.

Related: Can People Really Fall In Love Too Fast?

2. Room For Growth

Don’t go straight from living in a room in your parent’s house to sharing a space with your spouse.  Learn to live alone!  Learn to live independently first before you wind up dependent on someone else.

3. Love Yourself  Before You Love Someone Else

Get to know yourself.  You may not reach your full potential as a person if you have obligations to a spouse and a family.  Live your life. You need to get out there, let your hair down, have fun and experience the world.  There is a greater chance you will change as a person and your priorities will change if you and your partner don’t change together… this spells a relationship disaster!

4.  ‘Till Death Do You Part With Your Problems

Remember, marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment.  Yes, there are the good times, but with those times do come some bad patches.  If you marry someone too young you may not have the maturity to handle such a serious commitment and navigate the pitfalls.

Related: What To Know Before You Say ‘I Do’

5. Stop In The Name Of Love Before You Become A Statistic

Unless you want to end up like Kim & Kris in a 72 day divorce debacle… think twice and then a third time before you say “I DO”.  Bottom line, divorce rates are higher among younger couples… and no one wants to end up on the receiving end of a Taylor Swift song.

Susan Trombetti is an expert matchmaker and relationship expert. She is CEO and founder of Exclusive Matchmaking and a certified executive member of the matchmaking institute. She has helped many upscale, discerning singles discover long-term relationships and partnerships that are both rewarding and fulfilling through her business, Exclusive Matchmaking. She has also been featured several times in Cosmopolitan, Shape, MSN and many more. You can find Susan sponsoring local charity events or scouting for matches for clients at A- list parties and events.

By April Littleton

In this film directed by Carlo De Rosa, Kyle Livingston (played by Josh Cooke) is a self-absorbed writer until he gets the chance to rediscover all aspects of his life through the meeting of Joy Bailey (played by Liane Balaban). Joy is a spirited woman who helps Kyle come to terms with himself and guides him on the journey to happiness –  all the while asking him to write her obituary.

Should you see it:

If you’re a fan of independent films and seeing fresh faces up on the big screen, this is the movie for you. If you enjoy the work of Nicholas Sparks, Rob Reiner (think When Harry Met Sally…) and Cameron Crowe, Finding Joy will surely make you gush and maybe even cause you to tear up a bit as well.

Who to take:

You should take someone who appreciates the occasional indie film. This movie is perfect for a night out with a hot date, or can be viewed with a relative as a little afternoon splurge. Finding Joy is both romantic and family-oriented, so it can be enjoyed with an array of people.

Related: Chris Pine is Spotted with Swimsuit Model Amanda Frances

When is it time to change your ways for a new love interest?

Cupid’s Advice:

No one is perfect, but there are times where a person’s flaws or behaviors can cause a new relationship to self-destruct. It’s even worse when your partner is the type of person who doesn’t tell you exactly what they want – they just hope change will eventually come. If that’s the case, it’s up to you to take responsibility and make some changes for the sake of your new relationship. Cupid has some advice:

1. Change will help you improve: It’s time to make some changes for yourself as well as for your significant other when you know it will help you become a better partner and become a happier person. Don’t be resentful toward your love, especially if you know your bad behaviors are not only causing damage to your relationship, but also harming you internally as well.

2. Your partner is threatening to leave: If it’s the early stages of relationship and your new boo is already threatening to call it quits, you may need to think about what you could be doing to cause your partner to feel this way. Communication is key in all aspects of a relationship. You want to show your significant other the best and worst side of you, but if your worst is just too much to handle, you may need to tone it down.

Related: What Does Unconditional Love Look Like?

3. You’re ready to be committed: You think to yourself “This is it. This is ‘The One.'” You’re ready to fully commit to another person and you want to make sure you do all you can to keep your partner happy. If you’re aware of the not so desirable traits you have, find the tools you need to improve on yourself and become a more capable person. Seek outside help, do whatever is necessary to make your new relationship last. Show the person you love you’re ready to become the person they know you can be.

When did you know you had to change some of your bad habits? Comment below.

By Ashley DelBello

All relationships struggle at some point and in many cases more than once, but it puts even more of a strain on it when your significant other loses his focus or sense of purpose. It’s 2013, but most men still have that “provider of the family” mentality and feel it’s necessary to be the one — for lack of a better term — “bringing home the bacon.” So, what happens when your boyfriend or husband loses their job and doesn’t have it in him to move on?

First, figure out if you’re in it for the long haul.

Typically, new relationships won’t succeed in this type of environment, but whether it does happen with the new guy you’re dating or your husband of five years, you will need to decide if this is something you’re able to help guide him through while he figures things out. You also need to examine what you’re looking for in a relationship if this has been an issue between the two of you for some time. His laid-back attitude may compliment your more assertive, goal-oriented personality and you may enjoy taking the lead in the relationship. However, if you’re looking to be a part of a power couple, then this will be an ongoing source of disappointment and frustration for you.

Related: 7 Things NOT to Do in a Relationship

Support, support, support.

There has to be that balance between support and pushing too much. You can want the best for someone, you also have to understand that they will also need to want it for themselves. You need to keep that in mind as you both navigate through this situation.

Suggest starting over professionally with an internship.

Maybe his lack of ambition is stemming from a lack of passion for what he’s doing. If he or as a couple you can afford it, see if he would be interested in looking into internships to explore where he wants to go next in his career. We’ve seen it happen in Hollywood and while it may seem unrealistic, the storyline is coming from somewhere real so if nothing else works, then why not try something that could help lead him to finding something he gets excited about.

Guy time. As well as girl time.

Any activity that gives you both some time away from each other on a regular basis will be beneficial to the both of you so the focus isn’t always on your relationship. It also allows the both of you to talk candidly with your friends — as with everything, venting is healthy in moderation.

Professional counseling. 

It’s OK to seek outside help — they provide an objective third-party perspective and are also trained to help you both figure this out.

Related: The Key to a Lasting Relationship

Last of all — know that it might not be possible to move forward with your relationship. When you feel like you have given it everything you have and don’t think you can continue with the way things are, recognize that it’s OK to walk away. It’s not a decision to be made lightly or quickly, but sometimes approaches to life are just too different for relationships to work well on a long-term basis.

Have you been in a similar situation where your partner lost his ambition? If so, what did you do to overcome this and keep your relationship on track? 

By Christina Steinorth MA MFT

Here’s a piece of folk wisdom nearly every newlywed has heard: “If you can survive the wedding, surviving the marriage will be a piece of cake!” Weddings are indeed stressful because they involve a massive amount of planning, cooperating/compromising with your spouse-to-be, the convergence of diverse family and friends, decisions about religion and family traditions, and of course, lots of money.

After the wedding, many newly married couples experience what social scientists call “the honeymoon phase”–a period of several months in the beginning of marriage, characterized by passionate love and intense happiness. But in my experience working with couples, I’ve found that new marriage also comes with new stressors.

To sail through the first few months of marriage with minimal problems, here are 5 Cue Cards, or quick behavioral prompts, to help you navigate around the most common obstacles to newlyweds’ happiness.

Cue Card #1: Managing your own family is your job.

Even in well-adjusted and accommodating families, social slipups will occur. You or your spouse will inevitably get your feelings hurt by someone in your extended family or your partner’s family. If your relative acts in a hurtful manner, it’s your responsibility to address the issue with the offending family member and, if warranted, to ask that person to apologize to your spouse. When you manage your family, you show respect for your love partner.

Related: What To Know Before You Say ‘I Do’

Cue Card #2: Keep disagreements between you.

When you have a disagreement with your spouse, one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to not talk about it with your family of origin. Families can be a wonderful source of support, but in new relationships it’s essential for a couple to establish an identity that’s separate from their respective families. This engenders trust in one another, strengthens your bond and helps you make decisions that are right for the two of you, free of outside meddling and the resentment that can create.

Cue Card #3: Establish your own family traditions.

When holidays come around, it’s normal for new couples to grapple with whose family they’ll visit, which traditions to adopt and how to juggle in-law demands. A good solution is to choose one holiday a year to establish your own tradition, and then alternate other holidays between families. This way, everyone gets to spend equal time with you. You can avoid the stress of having to travel to multiple holiday events. And it gives you an opportunity to create a holiday that’s all your own–with the food, friends, fun and rituals you get to choose together.

Cue Card #4: Don’t take it personally.

One of the best ways to get your marriage off to a good start is to practice this one behavior over and over, and master it: Pause before you take what he or she said personally–it’s usually not about you. When your partner is angry, sullen, or rude, stop and ask yourself, “Did she/he do or say this to be mean or to hurt me?” It’s not easy to do, but if you can get good at controlling your knee-jerk reaction, it gives both of you the opportunity to find out what’s really going on, and to talk about it calmly and with genuine concern.

Related: Why ‘Bachelor’-Inspired Values Matter In Relationships and Marriage

Cue Card #5: Let unimportant things go.

Before you engage in an argument, try to stop for a moment and ask yourself, “How important is this?” It’s inevitable that you’ll get on each other’s nerves. And it’s common to want to control your partner’s behavior. But try to put the issue into the context of your entire relationship and then pick your battles wisely. This single piece of advice will help you minimize the number of arguments you have, and you’ll learn how to love each other for who you are and the way you are.

Christina Steinorth MA MFT is a psychotherapist and a popular relationship expert on radio and in print. Her advice has been featured in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Woman’s Day, Cosmopolitan, and The Chicago Tribune, among many others. Her new book is Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships (Hunter House, 2013). Learn more at www.christinasteinorth.com.

By SMF Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com

All of our lives, we’re advised against allowing ourselves to fall in love too fast. They (whoever “they” are) tell us love should happen deliberately, gradually, over a moderate amount of time to have truly legitimate long-term potential. That certainly sounds like sound advice. A cautious approach to new love is never in any way inappropriate. Better safe than sorry.

The problem is that even though this sounds like the right thing to do — feels like the right thing to do — it seems to me that there’s very little control over our emotions. Yet there are those who truly believe we have some kind of real power and control over our feelings. Whenever I’ve heard someone proclaim they wouldn’t “let themselves fall in love” with someone, I can only laugh. Certainly, as human beings we have the ability to make choices. As people, we can acknowledge feeling a certain way without acting upon whatever powerful emotions may be brewing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy.

Related: Why So Many Women Couldn’t Care Less About Getting Married

The experience of falling in love with someone is extraordinarily powerful — almost impossible to resist. We have no ability to just turn it off. If we could do that, there wouldn’t be nearly so many shallow husks of decayed relationships strewn across the ages. But this notion that we can fall in love too quickly — that we somehow will fall in love too soon if we don’t exercise some sort of discretionary power over that emotion, I theorize that has been all wrong for years.

I posted a question on my Facebook fan page asking the question, “On average, how soon after you begin seeing a new suitor do you realize that you’re falling for them?”

The overall response was generally in the range of 3 to 7 dates. Now this was a small sample size so it’s hardly scientific, but I think it’s indicative of something nonetheless. It may indicate that most people fall in love far sooner than we would care to admit and definitely sooner than we would like.

Think of your current or past relationships. How many of them took you more than a few dates before you felt the opening pangs of what you would eventually come to realize was you falling in love?

Related: 6 Clues To Look For in a Keeper

When you really fell for someone, how long did it take?  Probably much sooner than you think. How many times have you heard people in successful relationships tell the story of how they “just knew right away?” I use myself as an example of this. My ex-wife and I moved in together two weeks after we met. We were together for the next ten years. Have you ever started to fall someone after more than ten dates? I’m guessing no. I theorize most of us know fairly quickly, in spite of how we’re all told we should feel.

There’s always that awkward period where you’re each waiting to see who says “I love you first.” You want to say. You want to tell that person what you’re feeling, but you can’t, right? Why is it awkward? Because we’re told not to. Too soon. May scare him off. May not feel the same way. Which may possibly be true in any given situation. But life is filled with risks. By the way, research shows that generally guys are the first to drop the L-bomb.

I guess my point in all this is that sometimes trying to adhere to conventional wisdom may not be the best route for you to take in a fledgling relationship. You should be cautious, but you can be cautious and still embrace the fact that you’re falling for someone without concern over some artificial timetable. All these rules take the fun out of new love!

But I ask you again: How soon do you know you’re falling in love?

By Jane Greer, PhD for GalTime.com

It isn’t surprising that everyone is talking about Angelina Jolie’s recent celebrity news of her preventative double mastectomy. The news sparked conversations about the procedure itself and the decision to go public, but I want to talk about her rock-solid support system. In a New York Times op-ed piece she wrote, “I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive.” She mentioned her celebrity love was present for all of her medical procedures and surgeries at the Pink Lotus Breast Center. He has, in turn, recently called her decision to have the radical procedure and be public about it, “absolutely heroic.”

While It Seems That Pitt Agreed With His Celebrity Love’s Choice, That Isn’t Always The Case.  Does That Mean a Relationship Is Destined To Fail?

Related: Relationship Advice: Why Are Women Attracted to Unavailable Men?

Sometimes a spouse or partner has a harder time accepting the other’s decision to have a procedure whether it be preventative, corrective, or plastic surgery. They might feel the timing isn’t right or the surgery isn’t necessary. In order to be supportive and give unconditional love, a partner might have to put his own needs and judgments aside the way Pitt has clearly done.

What To Do In Your Relationship and Love When Your Partner Is Having A Surgery

That might require some work on your part if you are the one offering the support. Being there for your partner in a relationship and love not only means in a hands-on physical way, but also an emotional one. There is no question that this sort of thing can be very disruptive. Say, for example, that you both usually share the responsibilities of the household — you take out the trash and walk the dog, and he/she cooks and gets the kids off to school. Now, as your partner recovers, it is likely that all those tasks might fall to you. On an emotional level, the person who had the surgery might be irritable, upset, short-tempered and, at times, reactive and even lash out at you. If you can remember that your partner may be feeling vulnerable, helpless and out of control, it might help you understand where she/he is coming from, and then you won’t take it personally and get into arguments. Realizing the distress doesn’t stem from you can go a long way in helping you navigate the terrain of a caregiver and help you remain supportive throughout.

Related: Relationship Advice: When to Stop Wearing Your Wedding Ring

Know that the upheaval and distress will be time-limited and your recovering partner will get better. Things in the relationship and love will go back to normal at some point — hopefully soon. Remind yourself that, in the end, this will be better for everyone. Remaining positive during the recovery period will be good for both of you and get you through it with greater ease. Pitt’s words and support for his celebrity love are an excellent example of what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation. The Hollywood couple seems to have their priorities in place as they do what they must to build a long and healthy life together. With that goal in mind, being supportive is easier.

By Petra Halbur

IMG model, Ireland Basinger Baldwin, is managing to make her long distance relationship with stand-up paddle boarder, Slater Trout, work. Baldwin, who lives in L.A. and Trout, who is based in Maui, try to visit each other at least once a month and make the most of their time together. “We don’t do normal stuff,” Trout told People. “We go paddle boarding with humpback whales in Maui. We go on athletic dates.” Baldwin concurred, adding, “We’re outdoorsy people. I love walks, hiking, exploring and being on the beach.”

What are some ways to make a long distance relationship work?

Cupid’s Advice:

Sometimes careers, schools, familial obligations and other factors make it necessary for you and your partner to live far apart for a while. Long distance relationships are tough but it is possible to make them work. Cupid has some ideas:

1. Utilize technology: The good thing about long distance relationship these days is that there are many different ways to keep in touch. Using technology, like Skype, gives you and face-to-face time you need to make your relationship last.

2. Communicate daily, no excuses: Whether it’s texting “Good morning” when you wake up or Facetiming at lunch, do your best to communicate with your partner on a daily basis. Don’t let daily excuses get in your way.

4. Long-term plans: Be honest with each other. How long are you two going to be living apart and are you both okay with this arrangement? Avoiding the issue will only exacerbate the problem.

How did you make your long distance relationship work? Tell us below.

By Kerri Sheehan

Australian hairstylist, salon owner and television personality Tabatha Coffey sure has a solid resume. She has been in the hair industry for over 30 years, and in 2007, she was voted the first ever Fan Favorite on the Bravo network’s reality series Shear Genius. Since then, she received her own spin-off series, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, in which she helps failing salon owners turn their businesses around. After three successful seasons, Coffey has moved on to sprucing up a variety of small businesses on her newest reality television endeavor, Tabatha Takes Over.

“I just had such an overwhelming, positive response from everyone writing to me and saying, ‘I really love what you do. I wish you could help me, but I’m not a hairdresser. I really need help with my business.’ It seemed like a natural progression to be able to go into other businesses and help them turn things around,” says the reality star sensation.

The current season of Tabatha Takes Over is the second of its kind, and Coffey hints that viewers will have quite a lot to look forward to. “We still have some salons that I’m going into, and for a lot of people, the salons are still the favorites. We have a lot of non-salons that we’re going into as well, and I know a lot of people enjoy that too. It’s a lot of fun. There’s a nice balance with both.” Coffey also alludes to the return of some of the show’s alumni. “We may check in with some past favorites,” she says.

After seeing her in action, it’s no surprise that the hairdresser loves filming the show and helping people turn their lives around. “I get so emotionally invested with every business that I go into that I take the journey with the owners and the employees.” Her favorite times on the show are when she is really able to help the business owner and employees turn over a new leaf. “I always enjoy any time that I see success, that I see people turn their business around. When we’re able to save a business, that’s my favorite because that’s ultimately what I hope for every time.”

Related Link: Celebrity Couples Who Have Turned Over a New Leaf

Of course, her life isn’t all work. Coffey has been in a committed relationship with her partner for more than a decade. She cites communication as the key to keeping her love a priority despite her hectic schedule. “It’s hard for everyone to find a balance because I think we all get so busy and get so into our own things,” she explains. “So if I’m travelling, I make sure that I’m sending a text and seeing how everything’s going. It’s important to check in and not just be concerned with what’s going on with me.”

As someone who is open about being gay, the television personality shares some tips to anyone struggling to be honest and open about their feelings: “It’s easy to become wrought with the fear of having to tell the truth to your family and friends, but you have to really believe in yourself and be true to yourself. It’s your life, and you have to live it and be happy with who you are and be honest about who you are. You can’t live inauthentically.”

Coffey believes that staying true to yourself is vital in every facet of life, especially when it comes to your primping rituals. When asked about hairstyles for different events, she thinks the best rule to follow is to be you. For a first date, she says, “It’s great to glam it out a little bit and, you know, put a little bit more makeup on or dress your hair up a little bit, but you should also be true to who you are. If you’re going to go overboard and really glam it out and that’s just not you, then you’re really not letting your date see who you truly are.”

Related Link: Four Dates and a Wedding

For a more glamorous night, like a romantic dinner, she thinks that it’s okay to do something fancier with your locks. “I’m sure that the dress you’re going to wear is a little bit sexier, and your hair should follow suit.”

More likely than not, your spouse has a strong opinion about how they like your hair. “Let’s say your guy likes your hair when it’s curly, but that’s not your favorite thing. Maybe then, your romantic date night is the time to indulge your significant other. Make sure that you play into their opinion a little more and  do what they like.” Whether it’s wearing your hair up, down, slicked back or with some extra texture, show your partner what he wants to see.

As for a wedding day, Coffey urges readers to not stray from what they know works and says, “Never make a drastic change before your big day!” The weeks before a wedding are always heavily laden with emotions, so a bride may feel like she’s being spread thin. Therefore, a major change can lead to disaster. When you feel out of control, the one thing you can control is hair, so it’s never a good time to change your hair when you’re engulfed in emotion. “Stay true to yourself because a lot of brides go crazy and do something that they normally wouldn’t do with their hair. When they look at their pictures, they don’t even feel like themselves anymore.”

You can catch Tabatha Takes Over on Thursdays at 10/9c. If you can’t get enough of Coffey on Bravo, you can catch her speaking tour called Meeting with Tabatha, which will begin in Connecticut before it heads to Los Angeles and Arizona. It will give business owners tips for turning their business around and allow them to have an up-close-and-personal questions-and-answers session. You can also follow Coffey on Twitter and Facebook.

By April Littleton

According to comments made to UsMagazine.com by multiple insiders, the Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine has been dating Sports Illustrated supermodel Nina Agdal since early spring. Levine was recently linked to Victoria’s Secret Angel Behati Prinsloo, whom he began dating in May 2012. A source close to Levine said, “Behati was in and out, but they finally ended it. It wasn’t an abrupt ending.” Levine has yet to comment publicly on their split.

When is it the right time to start dating someone new after a recent breakup?

Cupid’s Advice:

Getting over a breakup can be rough, especially when you’re faced with the option of getting back in the dating pool. People move on at different speeds. Some can get back in the game in a matter of weeks, while others take months to fully feel OK with the idea of giving their heart away again. Ultimately, if and when you decide to date again is entirely up to you. To help make the decision a little easier, Cupid has some tips:

1. Mentally ready: Have you played around with the idea of moving on? If it hasn’t even crossed your mind yet, then it’s not the right time to let someone into your life. Don’t rush yourself into dating someone new when your head is still filled with memories of your ex. Getting into a relationship you’re not ready for will just make matters worse for you and your potential beau.

2. Emotionally ready: Have you stopped doodling your ex’s name all over your notebook? If you have, it’s safe to say you’re ready to open yourself up to new love and possibilities. Do you still get emotional every time you hear “your song” on the radio? If you still tear up when that song plays and every little thing reminds you of your former boo, you still need time to heal.

3. You’ve met someone: If you have already met someone who completely takes your mind off of your former flame, this may be a small sign that you are ready to start dating again. If you find yourself thinking more about the new guy than your ex, you might want to consider taking things to the next level.

When do you think is the right time to start dating someone new? Comment below.

By Kerri Sheehan

Ex flames and singers John Mayer and Katy Perry were spotted canoodling at a Memorial Day Party two months after their second breakup. UsMagazine.com confirms that Mayer was in attendance of the barbeque held at Perry’s home in the Hollywood Hills. One fellow attendee said, “They seem to be back together — or back together-ish, they were very flirty and having a really good time together. They have good chemistry.”

How do you decide whether to get back together with an ex?

Cupid’s Advice:

Sometimes the guy that you count as down in out can turn out to be your Prince Charming. Cupid has some advice on how to tell if you dud has transformed into a keeper:

1. Make it your decision: A lot of women can fall into the trap of following what other think as opposed to listening to their own hearts. If you’re really going to reunite with an ex it has to be your decision and no one else’s. There’s a difference between people giving you advice and full on telling you what to do.

2. Forgiving is easier than forgetting: If the reason for the original breakup was a transgression committed by your ex you have to acknowledge that it may not be as easy to forget as you think. If you still store pent-up hate for an ex’s wrongdoing then there’s no way you can move beyond that and reconcile in a healthy manner.

3. Do a Mental Rewind: Go back to the beginning of your relationship and figure out what originally attracted you to your partner. Are those traits still present in your ex? If he has changed for the worse then it may not be worth it to take your ex from the bench to the field.

Have you ever given your ex a second chance at holding your heart? Share below. 

By Samantha Menjor

You notice that your partner has been acting differently lately.The occasional late night work meeting now falls on every day of the week. He or she has been constantly texting and having secret telephone conversations in the bathroom. The scent of a different perfume or cologne lingers on their clothing. There’s an emotional distance in your relationship that ceased to exist before. You have a gut feeling of what is really going on, but you don’t want to believe it. Plus, there is no proof … until you get a call from a friend letting you know they have spotted your other half in a compromising position with another person at a local restaurant. You rush over to find your beau holding hands, kissing and gazing lovingly into the eyes of someone else. All you see is red through the blurred vision of your tears.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. You’re feeling hurt, pain, betrayal, confusion and anger. Your partner has admitted their wrongdoing and has apologized countless times. Friends and family are all trying to give you their best advice, but you’re hearing conflicting resolutions of what you should do.

If you’ve never been in this situation, you most likely know someone who has. It may not have happened exactly like the given scenario, but we’ve all had a friend come to us for advice on infidelity in their relationship. So what do you tell them? What would you do if you were in a similar situation? Here are some questions you need to ask yourself and your partner when deciding between reconciliation and a breakup:

Related: When Can You Trust Him?

1. Was the affair short-term or long-term?

Some affairs last months, even years and others are just a night of poor judgment. While you may not want to know the details of your partner’s infidelity, it’s important to know how much time was spent cheating. This allows you to better understand whether there was an emotional investment, whether it was strictly physical or both. Either situation would be difficult to rectify, but it helps in getting to the root of the issue.

2. Why did this happen?

There had to be something your unfaithful partner felt was lacking in the relationship for an affair to happen. Did they feel you were working too much and not showing them enough attention? Did having children cause you to lose your spark as a couple? A decision to reconcile is often dependent upon what caused the infidelity. Is it something that the two of you can fix through compromise, communication and counseling? If not, then the chances of reconciliation are slim.

3. Do you still love each other?

How did your spouse react to being caught? Did they express remorse and shame, or were they trying to justify their actions by putting the blame on you? A partner who shows regret for their actions is a better candidate for reconciliation than the latter. While their profession of love for you and endless apologies could be just words, it shows they are willing to try and do whatever it takes to get you back. It’s imperative for you to consider your partners past behaviors in your relationship as well. Have they always shown their love for you or have there been signs of cheating before? More importantly do you love your partner enough to try and work it out? The answer to these questions will help you figure out whether you choose the path of reconciliation or separation.

4. Will you be able to forgive and move on?

For many people cheating is a deal breaker. No amount of love, good behavior or money will allow them to get past the fact that they were betrayed. Many couples try to stay together and work through their problems only to find out that trust was never regained and forgiveness was never given. Before you consider reconciling, sit and think about whether you can get past the infidelity. If not, it may be time to part ways.

Related: Can Love Conquer All?

Countless other questions should be considered when deciding upon reconciliation. Each relationship has different factors to reflect upon after dealing with infidelity. Forgiveness and resolution take a lot of effort, time and healing for both parties involved. While many couples have split due to cheating, many have resolved their issues forming an unbreakable bond.

Have you ever found yourself in this predicament? Let us know how you resolved it below.

By April Littleton

After tying the knot May 4 in Mazan, France, People reports Keira Knightley and her new hubby James Righton, a keyboardist for The Klaxons, returning to London after spending their honeymoon in Corsica. The couple met after being introduced by fashion correspondent Alexa Chung. A year after being spotted together, Knightley and Righton got engaged in May 2012.

How do you decide as a couple where to honeymoon?

Cupid’s Advice:

Your honeymoon is one of the most important trips you will go on. After all, it is the first of many trips you and your partner will take together as man and wife. After all of the stress of planning a wedding, the honeymoon is the time to relax and unwind with your beau. Many couples have a hard time deciding on the destination of their honeymoon, but not to worry – Cupid has some tips:

1. Set a budget: The first thing you should do as a couple is work out a budget. Both of you should agree on how much money you’re willing to spend on the honeymoon. Can you afford that dream honeymoon in Fiji, or should you be looking at locations closer to home? Whatever the case, don’t be discouraged if you can’t go all out for the honeymoon. There are dozens of locations within an affordable price range just for newlyweds.

2. Research: You and your significant other should think about what kind of honeymoon you want. Do you want to spend most of the time relaxing by the pool and drinking cocktails, or do you want to live on the adventurous side? Once you figure out what kind of setting you both will enjoy, then you can narrow down your location search.

3. Get some help: Discuss some of your options with a couple who’s been in your situation before, or get in touch with a travel agent. Mention your budget and what you’re expecting out of the honeymoon. Not only will you get some valuable feedback, but you might also get information on other possible destinations you and your partner didn’t think of!

How did you decide where to honeymoon? Comment below.

By Jane Greer, PhD for GalTime.com

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have, at long last, finalized their divorce. Famously married in a lavish ceremony on August 20, 2011 and infamously separated just seventy-two days later – the settlement battle dragged on for a grand total of 536 days. Kim is the one who originally initiated the proceedings in October 2011, citing irreconcilable differences. Now that it’s finally over, both parties seem relieved to end the ordeal. Humphries even tweeted emphatically on April 18th, “Couldn’t be happier!” But that wasn’t always the case.

While it was widely publicized that Kim insisted on a divorce, Humphries dragged his feet, demanding an annulment. He failed to show up for several court proceedings, and thereby slowed things down. Humphries has always insisted that he was swindled by Kim – fooled into marriage as part of a publicity stunt masterminded by her family. Consequently, he also reportedly filed for spousal support from Kim to compensate for this betrayal.

You would think that when a marriage clearly goes bad, both people would be eager to get out so they can put a stop to the bad feelings, and get a fresh start with the hope of turning whatever they had just been through into a life lesson. But that is easier said than done. In their case, Kris dug his heels in and demanded squatter’s rights. For some people, when they feel cheated and betrayed, the concept of getting even overtakes the need to move on with their life, even at the expense of their own happiness. They want to pay the person back for hurting them. It is their way of making sure that person will be sorry for what they did. For some it is about money, but for most it is simply about getting even and righting where they were wronged.

In my book How Could You Do This To Me? Learning To Trust After Betrayal there is a chapter called I’ll Make You Pay. While doing that might offer some sense of redemption, all it really does is keep that person locked in the past along with all its negativity. Seeking revenge serves only to keep the anger alive. You know what they say, that the best revenge is living well. If that’s the case, you will get back at your ex far quicker by easing up and being happy in your new life than you will by showing how you just can’t let him or her go. Doing that is not the same as forgiving, or of saying the other person didn’t behave in an inexcusable way.

The real pay-off here is to leave the pain behind, and gain insight into what happened so you can make sure it doesn’t ever happen to you again. If you can do that, you will be the real winner.

By Jennifer Harrington

Relationships are never easy, but long-distance relationships pose their own unique set of challenges. If you have ever been in a long-distance relationship, you definitely know the miles separating you from your sweetheart can eventually place an obstacle in your romance that can be impossible to overcome. What are some signs that it is time to end a long-distance relationship?

You find yourself exploring other options.

If you find yourself checking out other people or having feelings for somebody in your city, this is a clear sign it’s time to end your current relationship. You’re either ready to be single, or to pursue a relationship closer to home.

Related: 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship

He meets a girl in his city.

If your man meets a girl in his city, this is an important sign. She may just be a friend, but having a lady in close proximity to him is going to affect your relationship. It may bring out your jealous streak, or it may make him re-evaluate if he wants a girlfriend who’s available for a spontaneous pizza on a Wednesday night. The same is true if you meet a special someone in your city! Need some celebrity examples to reinforce this example? Look no further than Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott and LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian.

The contact becomes less frequent.

Less contact is a sign of trouble. Be sure to honestly compare the amount of contact you had when you embarked on your long-distance relationship, compared to now. If you used to spend hours on the phone together, and now the relationship is simply a few sporadic text messages, you need to assess what’s going on. It could mean it’s just a busy time, or it could signify that you and your partner are truly living separate lives and there’s not much left to say.

You feel emotionally distant from your partner.

Physical distance is one thing, but emotional distance is a completely different issue. If it’s apparent your partner in California no longer understands (or is no longer interested in) your life in New York, you may be dealing with early warning signs. Also, be weary if you’re unable to get ahold of your partner when you really need them. Being emotionally close to your significant other is essential, and if you feel like that closeness has disappeared, it might be time to move on.

There are no future plans.

Future plans and the thought of spending physical time together is what keeps long-distance relationships alive. If you and your sweetie used to have a calendar full of plans together, and now the calendar is empty, it’s important to recognize this and question what has changed. Of course, there are practical reasons why you aren’t logging tons of frequent flyer miles to see each other (lack of funds, a major deadline at work, etc.). But, it could mean that your partner no longer wants to commit to future plans with you, which means they no longer see a future with you.

There is no end in sight.
Countless couples find themselves separated over a period of time for different reasons. Two lovebirds may have to attend different colleges or one partner may be forced to relocate to a new city to pursue a job opportunity. However, the important thing is for couples to communicate and have a plan to change the situation. If you and your significant other are living apart, and you never discuss when and how you are going to be in the same zip code, it’s time to question your decision to stay together. There’s only so long a romantic relationship can survive based on phone calls and weekend rendezvous.

Related: The Key to a Lasting Relationship

There is a lesson to be learned here: long-distance relationships can work, but they can be difficult to manage. Ending a relationship is never easy. It’s important to be honest with yourself and make sure you are truly happy and fulfilled, especially when you’re apart. If you find yourself in a similar situation, be sure to keep these warning signs in mind.

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? If so, how have you known when it was time to end it? Share in the comments below.

By Marni Battista

In recent years, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have had quite the whirlwind romance. The two pop stars were in a much-talked-about long-term relationship before they broke up and have subsequently reunited multiple times…although as of publication, their relationship status could easily have changed again. One thing we do know: breaking up and getting back together multiple times is mostly a good indicator that you should NOT get back together. So should you get back with your ex?

There’s no simple black-and-white answer. The answer will differ for each person and each situation. For example, if you ask your mom, she’ll have a bevvy of “solid” advice based on her experiences. Your sister will issue forth another set of breakup rules she created during her formative relationship experiences. Perhaps one best friend says “forget him,” while the other, who just reconciled successfully with her ex, urges you to take it slow and give it a try.

If you’re considering taking your ex back (and it isn’t the fifth time around like Justin and Selena), what do you need to know first? Here are five things Dating with Dignity advises that you think about before you get back together with your ex.

Related Link: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Confirm Rumors That They’re Back Together!

1. Why do you want to get back together? Is it because you’re lonely? If you feel as if you’d literally be in a relationship with ANYONE — including the Starbucks barista — because you’re missing a warm body next to your’s each night (and he’s not half bad-looking), you might need to reevaluate getting back together with your ex. However, reasons such as “I don’t think we gave it a good enough shot” or “We’ve both been doing a lot of internal work, and I actually think it will be healthier and more fulfilling if we try again” are both good reasons to give it another go.

If you need to think about it, take at least a few hours and really make sure you’re getting to the core of why you want to try again. Our best advice is don’t respond to his text, email or call immediately. Let it soak in. Consider all the options and then form a responsive (rather than reactive), solid reply to his request.

2. Why did you break up? If any of the reasons for breaking up include addiction, behavior dysfunction, physical or emotional abuse or cheating, the answer is always going to be a clear-cut no. According to most addiction specialists, a person must be sober at least one full year before engaging in a relationship. That said, make sure the timing is right if the reason you broke up involved any form of addiction.

However, if it was a reason such as one of you wasn’t fully out of a prior relationship or one of you needed to focus on some “loving myself” time to really be ready for a relationship, a redo could be a good idea to consider.

3. Is the issue something that’s consistent or a one-time event? If cheating was the reason you broke up but it was an isolated incident, getting back together can be put on the table. However, if it was consistent cheating or a repetitive cycle of adultery or being disrespectful, the chances your relationship will be successful the second time around are very low. One-time events can be something that each individual can work on over time, but it still absolutely needs to be addressed.

Related Link: Lessons We Can Learn from Queen of Heartbreak, Taylor Swift

4. How has your life changed since the split? Evaluate your current lifestyle. Has it improved since your breakup? If yes, it’s probably a good idea to steer clear of your ex. Perhaps you just didn’t feel as good about yourself when you were with him, or your health wasn’t a priority because you were so focused on the relationship. In that case, don’t even think about it.

But if you feel like giving it another try could improve your quality of life, it may be worth reaching out or responding to him if he’s been attempting to contact you. The reason to get back into a relationship isn’t because you feel like you need him to be complete or happy. Instead, make sure you’re coming from a place of “wanting” the relationship to enhance an already fulfilling and sweet life.

5. Let him show you, not tell you. Is your ex starting to show up repeatedly? Can you see the changes in his life? Did he finalize his divorce or get a new job? Has his demeanor changed? Are your interactions different? Does it really seem as though he’s worked on the shortcomings that led to the end of your relationship? Words are great, but actions are everything. So if you can see notable changes in someone, it can be a great indicator of a high chance of success in your “new relationship.”

Remember, if you get back together with an ex, you must start over. The time you spent apart allows you a clean break for you to begin to date again. Don’t rush into anything and don’t try to pick up where you left off. Have realistic expectations and pace the relationship just as you would with a brand new suitor. Hopping into bed with your ex right away and assuming you’ll be back to exactly how you were before is a great way NOT to be successful in trying again. Collect data, have fun, make sure to keep your non-negotiables in place, and make sure you keep your three c’s top of mind: compatibility, chemistry and communication!

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for your self and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.

By Meghan Fitzgerald

People reports that Angelina Jolie has undergone a double mastectomy due to a high risk of breast cancer. Jolie wrote a article titled “My Medical Choice” on NYTimes.com and explained, “My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent. I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer.” Although Jolie was the one who had the surgery, the procedure did have an affect on both partners in this celebrity couple. According to the actress, her celebrity love Brad Pitt was there at every step of the way.

This celebrity couple supports each other no matter what. What are some ways to help your partner through a serious health condition?

Cupid’s Advice:

If your partner is truly sick, it is sometimes hard for them to help themselves. Cupid has some relationship advice on how to follow in celebrity couple Pitt and Jolie’s footsteps and create a support system for your partner:

1. Take them to doctor’s appointments: If your mate has a serious health condition, it is probable that they will need to attend numerous doctor appointments. Doctors’ offices can be scary, especially if you are ill. To make your partner feel comfortable, go with them to their appointments. You will be there every step of the way, and it will show your beau how much you care.

2. Communicate with their family: With a serious health condition, family is usually wondering how the person is doing. Instead of your partner returning phone calls, e-mails, texts, and more, you can take care of it. It takes stress off of your mate when they don’t have to reach back to someone every twenty minutes.

3. Make them comfortable: When people are feeling sick, they may want certain things to make them feel better. It can be soup, cheesy 80’s movies, a snuggle bug, a chocolate cake, or a back rub. Try to accommodate your partner with what they want. Whether it be a massage or caviar, try to fulfill that wish and attempt to make them the slightest bit happier.

Do you have any relationship advice on helping a partner who is ill? Share below.