I donâ€™t know how or why or when it happened, but somewhere along the line I realized that I have an inordinate amount of female friends. Itâ€™s been a blessing and a curse really. The majority of my closest friends are female. Iâ€™m living proof that men and women really can be â€śjust friends.â€ť
One of the stellar benefits of having close platonic relationships with women (Iâ€™ll save the negatives for another column â€“ because believe me, particularly in the dating game, there are many!) is you get some compelling, honest insight on what makes women tick. After all these years, I think Iâ€™ve got a pretty decent understanding of the ladies.Â Iâ€™ll never completely figure you all out â€“ I won’tÂ even attempt that Herculean task â€“ but I think I know enough to stay out of the doghouse!
Your SMFâ€™s receive a fair amount of e-mails. As one of the founders of StraightMaleFriend.com, I thank you. Lord only knows where weâ€™d be without you and your correspondence.Â From those e-mails and the regular correspondence with you and many of my friends, Iâ€™veÂ noticed a surprising trend.
Â Women who couldnâ€™t care less about getting married. Seriously.
This is notÂ to infer that the general female populace has suddenly become anti-marriage. Not only do I not harbor that belief, but the preponderance of evidence clearly indicates that matrimony is still the preferred path of lifeâ€™s journey. But what I have seen is an ever-expanding legion of women who are quite content with their lives sans a husband. Women who are cool to the idea or just flat out not interested in being a wife.
Whatâ€™s really been fascinating is how many of these ladies still arenâ€™t comfortable sharing that perspective with other people because of the way the information is/would be perceived. And it really gets touchy when they announce that theyâ€™re not interested in having kids. Just the other day, I was told, â€śMarcus, you know how some peopleâ€™s biological clock is ticking? Mineâ€™s not broken â€“ itâ€™s just not even there.â€ť
Now understand, as a guy, this is fairly unbelievable news. What woman doesnâ€™t dream about getting married? What woman doesnâ€™t have her entire wedding mapped out by the time she sees her first Julia Roberts movie? Are you kidding? Of course you want to get hitched â€¦ youâ€™re a woman!
Well, thatâ€™s simply not the case.
Related:Â Stop Worrying About Being Single
Apparently there are a lot of women who could give a ratâ€™s a** about having a relationship, in general, not to mention marriage in particular. And I find it fascinating, brave and a spectacular display of self-honesty to admit it. As open-minded as we all like to think we are, those women get the collective stink-eye. Weâ€™re a unique society that way. We promote womenâ€™s strength and independence, but weâ€™re perplexed when they exercise that independence by NOT wanting to get married, by NOT wanting to have kids, by being â€¦ a real life Samantha Jones if she chooses.
Iâ€™d love for you to share your thoughts here â€¦ whether you are or arenâ€™t married, how do you feel about it? If you arenâ€™t and have no intention or couldnâ€™t care less about doing so â€“ why? Furthermore, how do you feel about the women who choose to forgo the institution altogether? Letâ€™s hear your thoughtsâ€¦