By Relationship & Sex Talk, Jane Greer, Ph.D., for GalTime.com

how past betrayals can hurt new relationships

Did Eva Longoria’s recent breakup with Mark Sanchez have anything to do with the memories of Tony Parker’s infidelity?

There didn’t seem to be any indication that they were having trouble, but sometimes there is nothing to see because it is what’s going on below the surface that can cause the problem. For many, it’s hard to start over, especially if you’ve been betrayed in a previous relationship. All of the anger, suspicion, and fear come through and can affect your current romantic situation.

You don’t have to be a celebrity to ask the question: is your past interfering with your present?

Sometimes all it takes is one betrayal in your love life to leave you so devastated and reeling that it becomes a challenge to trust future partners. If you have experienced deception, it is not unusual for your reaction to that to be unwittingly repeated with new people even if they have done nothing to deserve it.

Take my patient Hillary, for example. Her boyfriend had been cheated on by his previous girlfriend. He always wants to know where Hillary is, who she is talking to. She has no intention of hurting him or being with another guy, but his demands and constant questioning make her feel boxed in. The other day, when an old friend called, she didn’t tell her boyfriend, not because she had anything to hide, but because she was afraid of how he would react. He found out later and blew up, saying she didn’t tell him so how can he trust her? There was no actual problem, but he was creating one. His jealousy and accusations were perpetuating the very thing he was looking to avoid.

Try your best to take your partner at face value. If Hillary had been able to explain it was just an old college friend who had called, and her boyfriend had been able to listen and believe it, things would have been smoother.

Look at the consistency between what someone says and what they do. My patient wasn’t making any moves to elude him, or attempt to be with someone else. If he hadn’t been carrying over the fear from his last heartbreak, he would have been able to see that things were good between them.

And most important, focus on the present, not the past or what scary thing might happen in the future. That way, you can stay connected and work toward building your own, strong relationship.

By Jennifer Ross

It’s back to the drawing board again. The relationship between Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez has officially ended, a source told People. The insider went on to say that Longoria, 37, and Sanchez, 25, ended their very brief relationship amicably and without any hang ups. “There is no drama.” The former couple has been seen in public together since last July, although Longoria denied any relationship back then. Previously, the former Desperate Housewives star dated Eduardo Cruz, while New York Jets quarterback was seen with supermodel Kate Upton.

What are some ways to remain civil with an ex shortly after a breakup?

Cupid’s Advice:

After a breakup, there will be instances where you will need to remain in contact with your ex, such as you both work together or share custody of a child. Whatever the situation is, you will need to be respectful and courteous with him/her, regardless of whether you want to reconcile or not. To keep things even keel and successful, here are a few tips on how to approach situations with your ex:

1. Be kind: A great way to get along with you ex is to be kind in a respectful manner. If your ex doesn’t agree with your mature attitude, don’t stoop to his/her level. Continue in the same way, and eventually, he/she will come around to understand that you are serious about moving forward positively.

2. Avoid intimate history: The only way to leave your intimate relationship in the past is to not bring it up in the future. Therefore, don’t dwell on why you two broke up or any of the bitter/sweet moments you had together. While the breakup is still fresh and new, focus only on the important topics and being amicable towards each other.

3. Don’t get others involved: So as not to start any fights with your former partner, and show the respect they deserve, don’t get outside parties involved by talking negatively about the breakup. It simply is too risky. There are many ways your words can get misconstrued and relayed back to your ex.

Were you able to remain civil with your ex shortly after your relationship ended? How did you do it? Tell us below.

By Nicole Weintraub

Eva Longoria and her new man Mark Sanchez were spotted out and about in the Big Apple, reports People. The Desperate Housewives actress has recently confirmed that the two are dating after denying any romantic relations back in July. After Longoria split from Eduardo Cruz in March, the star has been laying low regarding her dating life. The New York Jets quarterback is 12 years younger than Longoria, but the two were spotted out on a date on Friday night.

How do you know when it’s time to go public in your relationship?

Cupid’s Advice:

Ready to tell the world about your new beau? Here are some tips on when you know it’s time to go public:

1. You’re both committed: When the two of you have decided that you are seriously committed to one another, then you can start to call it a relationship. Make sure that you’re looking for the same type of partnership.

2. You want people to know: Some people may prefer to keep their dating lives private and separated from the public eye. It’s best to discuss going public with your partner before boasting to the world about your new relationship.

3. Don’t go overboard: You don’t need to shout your love for your partner from the rooftops. Make sure to know the line between opening up about your new relationship and rubbing it in people’s faces.

How did you know when to go public in your relationship? Let us know!

By Nicole Weintraub

According to UsMagazine.com, Eva Longoria has snagged another athlete, and this time it’s Mark Sanchez. The Desperate Housewives star is dating the New York Jets quarterbac,k who is more than ten years younger than her. “We’re happy just dating,” she said in describing her current relationship status with the hunky football player. This is not the first athlete to snag Longoria’s attention as she has been previously married to Tony Parker, a professional basketball player who she divorced in 2010. “I can’t help but want somebody that’s, I don’t know, athletic,” the actress has revealed in the past.

How do you know when to go public with your relationship?

Cupid’s Advice:

There is a time span between announcing your new relationship and casually dating someone while trying to get to know them. Here are some tips on when the time is right to go public:

1. Discuss it with each other: Before labeling your newfound relationship or boasting about your new lover to the world, discuss it with them first. Make sure that the two of you are on the same page as far as the relationship goes. 

2. You’re committed: The two of you should be ready to be fully committed and monotonous with one another before going public as a couple. If you are not ready to be seriously involved with each other, then continue to casually date and get to know them.

3. You’re thinking of the future: If you cannot see yourself with this person in the future, then it’s a waste of time. When the two of you are willing to explore the relationship to see where it goes, that is when you know it is time to go public.

When did you know it was time to go public with your relationship? Tell us in the comments below. 

Looks like Hayden Panettiere has a thing for athletes.  Just a month after ending things with heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko, Panettiere is reportedly dating NFL player Scotty McKnight, according to UsMagazine.com. After mistakenly being linked to McKnight’s pal and fellow footballer Mark Sanchez, Panettiere, 21 said, “I’m a huge Jets fan and became very good friends with Mark and his buddies, I’ve always been that girl who has a lot of dude friends. I’m into sports so we have a lot in common.”

What characteristics of an athlete make a great partner?

Cupids Advice:

Hayden Panettiere isn’t the only starlet who seems to have a thing for athletes. Maybe Hollywood is onto something! Cupid has some characteristics that make an athlete a great partner:

1. Energetic: Athletes are usually full of energy, which makes them a lot of fun to hang out with. This way, they’ll want to go out and do things rather than just sit on the couch all night.

2. Enthusiastic: Sporty guys are always up for a challenge and want to try new things. He’ll always keep you on your toes.

3. Respectful: Athletes respect their bodies by doing their best to be healthy, whether it’s by working out or eating healthy. He’ll probably be a good influence on your health, too.

What characteristics of athletes do you think make them great partners? Share your thoughts below.

Hayden Panettiere, who just ended her relationship with Ukrainian heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko, might be on the rebound with yet another professional athlete.  Less than two weeks after the breakup, the Scream 4 star was spotted having fun with New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez at an In-N-Out Burger in Laguna Hills, California. UsMagazine.com reports that Panettiere, 21, split from Klitschko, 35, after their long-distance relationship proved too difficult.

What are some ways to tell if your relationship is a rebound romance?

Cupid’s Advice:

Jumping into a new romance right after ending a long-term relationship can be considered a rebound.  Cupid has some questions you may want to ask yourself:

1. How much time has passed?: If you just broke up with someone and are already seeing someone new, you’re probably in a rebound relationship.  It’s important to realize that these flings usually aren’t permanent.

2. Do you still have feelings for your ex?: So you’ve started dating a new person, but everything they do reminds you of your ex.  If this is the case, you might consider taking some time alone to heal and move past the breakup.

3. Is the new romance serious?: After ending a serious relationship, it’s usually difficult to feel strongly for someone new right away.  So if you find that your feelings aren’t nearly as intense for your new partner, maybe you’re still on the rebound.

Do you think it’s a good idea to get into a new relationship right after a breakup?  Share your comments below.