By Kenneth Weene, PhD.

We got engaged on April Fool’s day.  That was a propitious start.  At least she couldn’t claim that I didn’t have a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Prior to that, I’d only agreed to getting engaged-to-get-engaged one evening at the restaurant called Big Chicken Fry (honest).

Before you get the wrong idea, I loved her, I was committed to her.  In my head we were going to grow old together.  My concern was the word — marriage.

I’ve always been about words; not just what they mean, but what they imply.  Throughout my career as a therapist, my concern about the word “marriage” has been borne out.  The word creates expectations.  It changes and codifies roles.  It imposes mental burdens where before there were none.

To come to terms with these burdens, some couples live together before marriage.  They think it will give them a good sense of what their lives will be like after they tie the knot.  If they’re satisfied, they then marry.  Then, things immediately go downhill.  Celebrity couples are no exception.  David Arquette and Courtney Cox is one couple that comes to mind; Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz is another.

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