Expert Dating Advice: How to Straddle the Line Between Proactive and Pushy

In this day and age, females aren’t expected (nor do they want) to be that delicate flower patiently waiting for the object of their affection to ring them up and ask them to the drive-in. We’re making more money and finding fulfillment in ourselves, so by golly, we should be able to make the first move with confidence every once in a while!

Expert Dating Advice: How to Be Proactive

In the interest of maintaining that magical feminine mystique that makes us such a desirable gender, it’s important to determine where being proactive crosses into pushy territory. And since navigating that line can be a subjective and nearly impossible exercise on your own, here’s a Dating With Dignity list from our relationship experts to help you keep your sexy confidence from turning scary:

Related Link: How to Know When to Make a Move for Him

1. Introducing yourself: There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking up and saying hi to that cute guy you spot across a room. In fact, many fellas will say they find it attractive when a girl goes after what she wants. If you’re a little unsure, follow this expert dating advice when looking for a relationship and love: Shoot him a smile first and see how he responds; then, read the signs from there. As long as you keep it casual, light, and flirtatious, any red-blooded, American man will welcome an attractive lady doing the hard part for him.

Signs that you’re being pushy: He’s clearly trying to end the conversation; you catch him making subtle SOS signs to a friend; and/or he’s wearing a wedding ring.

2. Initiating follow up: Many guys will be the first to admit they’re clueless about when to pull the trigger, whether it’s asking for a number, sending the first text, or suggesting a date idea. And much like being the first to say hello, it takes a heightened sense of social graces to determine when your go-getter attitude is a welcome one. If he’s expressing interest during your initial conversation — actively engaging, making physical contact, listening attentively, and smiling plenty — you have your go-ahead to grab some digits or broach the subject of hanging out.

Signs that you’re being pushy: He’s trigger shy at every turn; his responses to your contact are short and infrequent; and/or he doesn’t seem to open up as contact continues.

3. Making the first move: This is a tricky one. We assume that men, being the supposedly simple creatures they are, will make a move if they’re even remotely attracted to you. But believe it or not, that’s not always the case. For every man who leaves a date wishing he had swooped in for the kiss, there is a lady who won’t let that happen. When and where you decide to do it is completely dependent on your comfort level, but deciding to do it in the first place requires a key focus on body language. Here’s some expert dating advice to consider: If you can sense the attraction is there but nerves are standing in its way, it may just be you who needs to break that physical barrier.

Signs that you’re being pushy: He maintains a healthy distance when the two of you are together; he doesn’t initiate any physical contact; and/or he appears disinterested in conversation.

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is a relationship expert and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for yourself and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.

The Holiday Gift Guide for New Couples

By Marni Battista

The holidays are always an awkward time to start a relationship. There are few people who proclaim to be great gift givers and can wander through stores to pick out the perfect presents for everyone on their list. It’s difficult enough to give thoughtful gifts to close family and friends and not be swayed by the latest and greatest gadgets that everyone wants but aren’t necessarily thoughtful.

So how do you go about buying something for the “special” person whom you may not know so well? People are often so intimidated by gift giving that it may be a better idea to decide not to exchange gifts. Expressing how you feel about presents early in the relationship can help gauge what’s an appropriate gift, if any gift at all!

Related Link: 10 Rules for Couples Gifts

If your partner is practical and hints at something that isn’t too extravagant, it’s probably best to listen. However, there are “big” gifts, such as jewelry, watches, and pricey electronics, that should be left for future years of dating or marriage. If you’re unsure about what your significant other would like, here are five ideas that are thoughtful but not too overthought:

A relevant book is for the brave dater. Listening to your partner about books they liked in the past or things that they may be interested in learning more about can help you decide what kind of book is appropriate.

Art never goes out of style and never depreciates. Therefore, it works for anyone. It’s finding the kind of art — a sculpture, oil painting, graffiti canvas, mosaic, etc. — that may be the most troubling. Listen to what kind of art your partner compliments or thinks is “cool.”

Something comfy and comforting is always nice. If you’re going to go this route, a really soft and plush robe, sweater, or slippers are great ideas for someone who finds comfort in the finer things in life.

A DIY gift from the heart, such as a photo book or personalized frame, is a crafty and cute way of showing your appreciation for that person.

Related Link: Our 2014 Holiday Gift Guide

Experiential gifts are a great idea because let’s face it: It’s fun for both of you! Planning a camping trip, a day at the museum, or a concert date shows that spending time with your significant other is the most important gift of all!

Although it may seem like gift giving for that new special someone is intimidating, knowing their likes and dislikes can help you decide what is appropriate without going overboard. Plus, starting a relationship with more thoughtful gestures can lead to an easier gift giving experience in the future!

Happy holidays…and happy dating!

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for your self and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.

How to Know When to Make a Move For Him

By Marni Battista

Serious relationships, a status most singletons strive for, present their own set of complicated issues that naturally arise when two people are on the precipice of sharing the rest of their lives together. And then, life throws a crossroads into your partnership’s trajectory: the dreaded move.

Regardless of the plans you’ve made, a too-great-to-resist job opportunity or unforeseen family emergency will make it suddenly imperative that he relocates, and the difficult question remains: Will you follow? Diehard romantics or impulse decision-makers might immediately say, “Of course!”

But there are some absolutely essential questions to consider before you decide to make such a monumental decision based on someone else. I’m here at Dating with Dignity to guide you towards the right choice for you, your relationship, and your future with these five questions:

1. Are you on the same page about where the relationship is going? You don’t necessarily need a ring on your finger to make the move, but ensuring you both share a vision about the future of your relationship is paramount to making this life-changing decision. Broaching the topic may feel daunting, especially if you’re in the earlier stages of a relationship, but if the possibility of moving to be with him is already on the table, this question should naturally follow.

2. Are you on the same page about living arrangements? If you aren’t living together in your current city, feel out his thoughts on where you would reside in the new one and don’t shy away from your own expectations. There’s no right or wrong answer on whether you should live together or separately, but it’s all about making sure you know exactly what to expect. Clearing this up will also help you to plan financially as well — rent and utilities are a major expense, no matter where you’re moving!

3. What would you do if the relationship didn’t work out once you’re there? You may not want to think about this possibility, but unfortunately, there are a number of reasons the move may not work out, whether it’s because of the relationship itself, the city, or some unpredictable x-factor. Though letting your mind wander to negative outcomes may not feel productive or encouraging, it’s important to have a back-up plan so your life isn’t leveled by unforeseen circumstances.

4. How do you feel about the new city in question? Thinking about the new city is likely taking a back seat to the countless relationship questions you’re churning over, but how you feel about your prospective new home has everything to do with the future of your relationship. Moving somewhere unsavory that has few opportunities within your chosen career field can cause you to build resentment toward your significant other and ultimately lead to the downfall of your relationship. Plan regular visits and do your research to make sure this is somewhere you could build a healthy social and professional life.

5. Do your current feelings for your partner outweigh those of your life where you live now? Perhaps the most important question to ask is whether or not being with your fella alone fulfills you more than the current life you lead or if it would even be the same without him in it. This is a tough one because, in most cases, you will have built a social circle and comfortable life for yourself where you are, and the thought of moving somewhere completely new is nothing short of terrifying. This is where your rusty “trust gut check” comes in. No matter how bittersweet it may seem, someone you just know will make you happy no matter where you live is worth taking the leap for.

5 Tips for Meeting Your Partner’s Family Stress-Free

By Marni Battista

You’ve won over the guy, but winning over his family is even more daunting. While your feminine wiles and witty repartee may have tugged at his heartstrings, making a killer first impression and getting the stamp of approval from those closest to him takes a slightly different strategy. Much like a first date, the first time you meet the family doesn’t always elicit fireworks. But there are ways to prepare, calm your nerves, and set the stage for a wonderful relationship with your fella’s loved ones. So take a deep breath and let these five Dating with Dignity tips help you relax:

Related Link: Taking Your Partner on a Family Vacation

1. Understand his family landscape: Relationships between family members are often the most deeply rooted and intricate of them all, so gaining a solid understanding of existing tensions or unconventional family arrangements beforehand will save you from surprise. Schooling yourself on your boyfriend’s step-siblings or tense background with his aunt will eliminate awkward situations and allow you to navigate some major conversational pitfalls.

2. Learn their likes: Ever fretted before a first date about what the two of you will talk about? You may be experiencing similar anxiety before meeting the family, but in this case, you have your boyfriend to help you prep. Don’t be shy about pumping him for information about the personalities and interests of those you’re about to meet. Not only will you naturally engage in more thoughtful and free-flowing conversation, but your genuine interest in your partner’s loved ones will score you brownie points with him too.

3. Avoid controversy: No matter how vehemently you and your partner may agree on certain hot button issues, it’s best to err on the side of caution when meeting his family. Sensitive subjects like politics or religion carry with them scores of touchy nuances that could make the conversation treacherous. If you’re worried a certain subject might come up, plan to pre-vet opinions on the issues in question with your boyfriend beforehand in case you need to prepare a PC response or gently nudge him in the ribs to jump in and change the subject.

4. Mind your manners: Hold that sailor’s tongue, roll up the sleeves of your sensible yet stylish cardigan, and start setting the table. Your language and overall interaction with his family members will all roll into one well-formed opinion of your character. Of course, don’t go overboard with the manners or sensible clothing to the point where you feel stiff and unnatural. You just want to create a sterling (and well-deserved) first impression.

5. Be yourself: You probably saw this one coming: The best way to succeed in any social situation is to relax and let others get to know the real you. Any time you find yourself getting nervous, remember that the whole reason you’re meeting these people in the first place is because your mate is enamored with you. The more naturally you act, the more likely his family will follow suit.

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for yourself and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.

Top 3 Mistakes Women Make in Relationships

By Marni Battista

As much as we’d like to think of ourselves as relationship experts and place all the blame for failed attempts at love on pure male stupidity, women may unknowingly make crucial slip-ups that land them back in the singles pool time and time again. If you find yourself chronically heartbroken, it’s time to take an objective look at your past relationships and ‘fess up if you’ve been guilty of making some of these common missteps. To help you do so, here are the top three mistakes women make in relationships and how to avoid them.

1. Trying to Change Him: We’ve all heard the age old saying that loving someone makes you want to be a better version of yourself, which is often misinterpreted and manifests itself as the number one mistake women make in relationships. We have a tricky habit of seeing men for the way they could be and not the way they are…and then we give ourselves the mission of being the one who helps them bridge that gap.

If you find yourself inclined to guide your man down a path you’ve envisioned for him, pause to analyze what small stuff you can let go or gently encourage. Ultimately, if you’re wanting to drastically change someone, this isn’t a good relationship for you in the long run anyway.

2. Acting Passive-Aggressive: Conflict is bound to arise in even the happiest of relationships, and unfortunately, some of it could leave you feeling upset or put out by your significant other’s words or actions. Many of us are guilty of employing the old standby silent treatment or just responding with curt answers, all the while assuming he knows exactly why you’re angry and impatiently waiting for a heartfelt apology.

While it can be comforting to a bruised ego to let him sweat it out, squirm, and press for what’s bothering you, passive-aggressive behavior will ultimately lead to a loss of respect or a fight without the issue really getting resolved. If you’re hurt or have a problem that needs discussing, be straightforward and address it head on.

3. Not Giving Him Space: In a relationship where you’re feeling either particularly lovey dovey, you can easily slip into the habit of insisting on spending all your time with your man. In the case where you simply cannot get enough of him, remember that you’ll appreciate the time spent together so much more if you maintain an active social calendar outside of your relationship. Furthermore, having your own activities and hobbies that you participate in independent of him will make you that much more appealing.

If you’re feeling especially drawn to him because he’s been withdrawing from you, it could be that he’s needing to sort through an internal issue unrelated to the relationship. Men are wired differently and prefer to deal with tough issues on their own rather than reach out to others for help. If his seclusion is isolated to within your relationship, it’s time to open the lines of communication and air out whatever it is that isn’t working. Smothering him without addressing the heart of the matter will only drive him further away.

If you have a tendency to make any or all of these three mistakes, it’s time to take a dating break and look at what fears or insecurities are behind your behaviors. Often, trying not to make these mistakes can feel akin to a Monday morning diet promise: easily made but rarely implemented once we get triggered. Forgive yourself for the errors you’ve made and give yourself an opportunity to change-up your dating game. The result will be worth it, of that we are sure!

Can You Really Find Love on ‘The Bachelor’?

By Marni Battista

The reason for our culture’s collective obsession with The Bachelor franchise is obvious. What single, soul mate-seeking dater wouldn’t dream of being presented with 25 gorgeous single men or women and a period of 6 weeks to strategically whittle down that group to a proposal at the end? The all-expenses-paid fairytale dates, exotic destinations, and expensive sports cars probably don’t hurt either.

The conducive environment of ‘The Bachelor’ makes finding relationships and love seem like a breeze. But the real question is, are the happy celebrity couples really as in love as they look?

But underneath the fluffy fanfare that leaves us hopeless romantics watching at home with hearts a-fluttering, at the show’s core is a promise of two people finding everlasting relationships and love. After all, the show has resulted in a few happy marriages, with last month’s nuptials of happy celebrity couple Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette Season 1 couple Trista and Ryan Sutter’s ten-year vow renewal.

However, in an environment so unrealistic and clouded with so many distracting factors, I can’t be convinced The Bachelor process is conducive to building the foundation for lasting relationships and love. Do I think it’s possible to fall in love on the show? Taking into account the myriad of other ways couples meet these days, sure. Still, I think the success stories are the exception rather than the rule, and here’s why:

1. The Isolation: Before they even meet the star of the season, the 25 contestants who make it through the arduous casting process are then sequestered in a Los Angeles mansion for the remainder of the process. At the beginning of any relationship, I advise daters to make space in their schedule to reflect and allow true feelings to come to the surface. With no escape from this microcosm and no contact with anyone other than the bachelor, crew, and other contestants to distract you, it’s easy for the show to become your world, distorting your judgment and emotions.

2. The Game: As much as the creators would like you to think that the show allows one lucky man or woman to naturally select a lifelong partner, it’s simply impossible for one person to get an accurate impression of 25 different people’s personalities in one night. From the get-go, the show becomes a strategic game where the more extroverted contestants come out on top and those who take a little bit longer to open up often get shafted without a fair shot. Even the contestants who make it past the first couple of rounds of elimination still have to be pretty brazen to stay on the guy’s (and camera’s) radar, and as a result, many of them get caught up in the competition while losing sight of their true purpose.

3. The Entertainment: Ultimately, the show’s creators prioritize entertainment value over all else. That means there’s a whole other slew of factors that make this dating game less natural and more complicated. The over-the-top dates to exotic locales with private performances by the latest up-and-coming country artist may be fun for the viewer to watch, but it distracts the two people from truly getting to know one another. I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with someone in a rose petal-dotted hot tub overlooking the mountains of Thailand while Josh Groban serenades them softly in the background?

The show’s creator, Mike Fleiss, has also openly admitted that they make sure to stock at least half the cast with potential villains or loose screws because they know their audience wants to see drama more than they want to see a proposal. So before the show even begins, cattier girls are selected over more compatible mates, and those stroking the drama are kept around longer than they should be.

To put it simply, any situation that brings people together that normally wouldn’t meet carries with it the possibility of true love. But considering the numerous reality-distorting factors involved in The Bachelor, I’d steer you toward taking your chances in the real world.

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for your self and others.

How to Listen to Your Heart and Take Back Control of Your Love Life

By Marni Battista

It may sound cheesy, but listening to your heart is essential when navigating the path to a happy ending. And as important as this may be, doing so can be especially difficult with input from loved ones clouding your true feelings. Be it a long-term boyfriend, a new prospect, or a re-ignited flame, here is a simple, step-by-step guide to drown out other’s opinions on your love life and follow your intuition.

1. Take Time to Think: Before you completely shut out your loved ones, make sure you take some time alone to sort through your thoughts on your current romantic situation. And I mean alone time; even just talking it through one-on-one with a trusted friend can invite a trickle of unsolicited advice that leads to confusion and self-doubt. Sometimes, quieting your surroundings, making a cup of tea, and cracking open your journal are all you need to allow the truth to softly float to the surface. Whether your “thing” is to go for a run in nature, collect your thoughts in a long, hot bath, or write until your hand hurts, the truth will bubble up when you take time to listen carefully.

2. Trust Your Gut: Once you’ve had time to develop a solid stance, you’ve likely also developed a nagging voice in the back of your head that’s constantly urging you toward a particular decision. If you’ve made your list of pros and cons about staying with a long-time boyfriend and you know deep down the right move is to end it, let that nagging voice drown out that of your mother trying to convince you he will provide you the stability you need. Choices like these are not always so cut and dry, but the more time you allow yourself to process the relationship, the more strongly your gut will lead you in the right direction.

3. Be Open: Keep in mind as you dissect your thoughts that even the most unsolicited or inaccurate advice about your personal life from loved ones stems from the best of intentions. Remember that your parents, girlfriends, and siblings are giving advice based on their experiences, not yours. While they just want the best for you and to see you with someone who makes you happy, find a sensitive way to explain to them that, though you appreciate their concern, you have a handle on how you feel and what to do. Thank them for their support and remind them that you will certainly come to them for advice when you truly need it. Not only will this open communication show your appreciation for those you care about, but it will hopefully quiet some of those real-life opposing opinions as well!

The Dating With Dignity Telesummit Can Help You Transform Your Love Life

CupidsPulse.com is proud to announce and be part of the first-ever Dating With Dignity telesummit hosted by internationally acclaimed dating expert and founder of Dating With Dignity, Marni Battista! The five-week telesummit will launch on Tuesday, September 24th! For more information..click here for the press release or open the read more button below:

Featuring Daily Interviews with 25+ Top Experts

LOS ANGELES, Sept. 20, 2013 /PRNewswire-iReach/ — September 19, 2013 — Dating with Dignity, a Los Angeles coaching service that helps men and women create successful, loving relationships, will launch its first-ever telesummit on September 24th. This 30-day event will feature daily recorded interviews from top experts in the fields of dating, relationships and sex!

The telesummit, the first in a series of programs (leading up to the “Ignite Your Life” live event in January 2014), will help anyone transform their relationships quickly and effectively with a blend of sassy and practical, easy-to-understand, fun, and useful “how-to” information.

“This summit is part of my mission to bring dignity back to the process of dating and relationships,” says Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity. “Together, we’ll help participants master the 21st century dating skills needed to find love now.”

To make the telesummit available nationally, Dating with Dignity has partnered with several key people and organizations, such as celebrity dating coach Paul Brunson; celebrity gossip and relationship site CupidsPulse.com; eHarmony, the world’s #1 matchmaking relationship site (offering 10 participants a free one month subscription); and The Keep A Breast Foundation(which will receive a percentage of revenues during October for National Breast Cancer Prevention Month).

Listeners can pre-register for the telesummit starting on Thursday, September 19th, and will receive a bonus audio interview from an eHarmony expert.

To find out more about the telesummit and its panel, please visit http://datingwithdignitysummit.com.

ABOUT DATING WITH DIGNITY

Dating with Dignity helps men and women create awareness of dating behaviors that can cause frustration and then provides a proven-successful framework to change their self-concepts to ultimately attract quality partners and get the love they deserve. Dating with Dignity customers and clients learn to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions; tap into their authentic self; have a positive self-concept; and create successful, loving relationships.

Founder Marni Battista has more than 25 years of personal relationship and dating experience. She is also a certified professional Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, writer, and nationally recognized print and online magazine expert covering dating and relationships (Cosmopolitan Magazine, Yahoo! Shine, Huffington Post, YourTango.com, CupidsPulse.com and more). Marni also has a weekly dating/relationship web show, The Dating Den, which has received nearly 100,000 views.

ABOUT CUPIDSPULSE.COM

CupidsPulse.com is the first-of-its-kind relationship site that takes the latest celebrity news and repackages it to help singles and couples navigate their love lives. What sets CupidsPulse.com apart from traditional gossip sites is its use of entertainment news as a catalyst to spark conversation about relationship topics such as marriage, divorce, pregnancy, and being single, offering advice to those who may be in a similar situation as their favorite celebrity.

ABOUT EHARMONY

Santa Monica-based eHarmony is the #1 Trusted Relationship Services Provider in the USA. eHarmony’s patented Compatibility Matching System® allows eHarmony members to be matched with compatible persons with whom they are likely to enjoy a long-term relationship.

ABOUT THE KEEP A BREAST FOUNDATION

The Keep A Breast Foundation is the leading youth-focused, global, nonprofit breast cancer organization. Our mission is to eradicate breast cancer for future generations. We provide support programs for young people impacted by cancer and educate people about prevention, early detection, and cancer-causing toxins in our everyday environment. The Keep A Breast Foundation is headquartered in the United States as a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit.

ABOUT PAUL BRUNSON

Paul Carrick Brunson has become internationally recognized as one of the most successful matchmakers and relationship coaches. Oprah Winfrey notes that, “Paul is much more than a matchmaker, he’s a life coach.” He has appeared on OWN’s “Lovetown, USA” and “SoulPancake.”

Media Contact: Kendra Newton, Hot Property PR, 917-750-0229, kendra@hotpropertypr.com

News distributed by PR Newswire iReach: https://ireach.prnewswire.com

SOURCE Dating with Dignity

How to Move On and Keep Your Dignity (And Hope) Intact After Heartbreak

By Marni Battista

In recent months, there have been a couple of sudden, celebrity deaths that have no doubt left family, friends, and significant others reeling. Both Glee star Cory Monteith’s fatal drug overdose and former Bachelor contestant Gia Allemand’s tragic suicide opened up much speculation about how their partners, Lea Michele and Ryan Anderson respectively, have been coping.

These tragedies got me thinking: All of us will experience heartbreak in our lives — whether in the form of a difficult breakup or the death of a significant other — and will surely find ourselves desperate for ways to move on with as much grace, ease, and dignity as possible. Here at Dating with Dignity, I’ve developed five simple practices that certainly won’t eradicate the pain of your loss but will give you the tools to begin healing.

1. Allow Moments of Grief

The most important thing when untangling yourself from a broken heart is to express whatever you’re feeling and do so in a healthy way. Allow yourself to cry, write, listen to or make music, or talk with a close friend or family member. As you become further removed from the incident, be cognizant of when it’s time to distill this period of grief into brief, private moments, and then eventually your loss will become less acute. Grieving is healthy, but if you continue to dwell on it for more than one year and it feels like it’s turning into chronic depression, make sure you seek help from a healthcare professional.

2. Don’t Cast Blame

It was widely reported that Allemand’s suicide occurred immediately after a blowout fight with her boyfriend, NBA player Anderson, that culminated in him saying, “I don’t love you anymore.” In this situation, it would be easy for Anderson to process his loss by blaming himself and wondering if he could have saved his girlfriend by choosing his words more carefully.

But it’s important to remember that there are endless numbers of factors that contribute to something so serious, and whatever you feel you did wrong is only the tipping point (if even a factor at all). There’s no way to truly know, and blaming yourself or others will only alienate you as work through your grief — so train yourself to focus your energy on moving past it.

We’re ultimately not responsible for the actions of others. Of course, we want to make sure we’re always compassionate and empathetic; however, each of us must take personal responsibility for how we react to what we hear from others each day.

3. Adopt a Mantra: “The Only Way to Get Through It Is to Get Through It”

Whether recovering from a breakup or the death of a loved one, you’ve been placed in an undesirable situation beyond your control. As much as it may feel like the world has stopped turning and nothing will ever be the same, there’s nothing you can do but focus on the better times ahead.

Each relationship can help to form who we are as well as who we’ll become. There are no such things as mistakes. If you soldier through these dark days and keep yourself focused on the gifts you experienced as a result of your lost love, you’ll gradually start to feel better…and one day, you’ll reflect on that dark time from a much lighter point of view.

4. Re-Install Routine

Depending on the gravity of your loss, it’s possible that whatever incident you’re recovering from has completely wiped out your usually bustling schedule. Even though holing up at home may seem like the most appealing option, one of the best ways to begin to move on is to re-introduce routine into your daily life.

It may feel forced at first, but a schedule will allow a sense of normalcy to return and provide a welcome distraction. If there’s something in your routine you used to partake in with your absent partner, create a new ritual with a close friend or family member in its place.

5. Lean On Friends and Family

After the death of Monteith, mourning fans across the country cast much of their concern toward his longtime girlfriend and Glee costar Michele. People began speculating about when and how she would make her first public appearance in the wake of her tragedy. After a couple weeks of silence, the brunette was spotted going to a baby shower and has since been seen surrounded by at least one or two close friends. Loved ones provide a welcome distraction, but they’ll also help force you back into your routine and listen when you need to talk about how you’re feeling.

Heartbreak is a part of life, and when it happens, all you can do is work towards moving on. If you diligently hold yourself to these five practices in the wake of a tragedy, I’m certain you’ll gradually start to feel lighter.

Dating Again: How to Move On After a Breakup

By Marni Battista

Moving on after a breakup can be tough. At Dating with Dignity, we don’t think the best way to get over your ex is to get under someone else! Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest are one Hollywood “It Couple” that recently ended their relationship, and it looks like at least one of them has moved on. Rumors have it that Seacrest has already bagged himself a new lady friend, while Hough still wants him back. If we could advise the bubbly blonde on how to pick herself up again, here are the tips we’d give her:

1. Put YOU first. When you go through a breakup, it’s extremely important to make sure you take care of yourself first. Even if you saw it coming or it was a decision you know is for the best, it’s important to allow yourself time to grieve the loss. Take this opportunity to get back to your fitness regimen, reconnect with old friends, start an activity that perhaps you’ve put aside for a while or even take a solo weekend vacation. Take some time to feel sad (after all, it’s normal to be sad) and remember what you enjoy about yourself.

2. Don’t be afraid to say yes to dates. If you get asked out at your local coffee shop or at a friend’s birthday bash, say yes. Even if you feel it might be too soon to launch into a super-serious relationship, saying yes to an evening of flirting or a nice dinner won’t hurt. It’s important to let yourself be seen by someone who doesn’t know your “story,” and it allows you the opportunity to get back to being you. Plus, it feels good to be pursued!

3. Have fun with girlfriends. When you’re in a long-term relationship, you often forget about girl time. Take this opportunity to reconnect with your friends: go out for a night on the town, have fun and take pictures of how much fun you’re having to anchor to the new life you’re creating. Posting photos on Instagram or checking in on Foursquare to that hot new restaurant opening is totally fine by us too. While the urge to stay in your cave may be strong, trust us that it’s important to get your “girl” on and put yourself back in social situations.

4. Remember that it’s okay to be single! Even though it sucks when you don’t have a date to the next summer wedding or a go-to Saturday night plan, creating the life you want has to start with you and you alone.

Coming from a place of fear that “I’ll never meet anyone” or “ I’m getting too old” will only lead you down a path you don’t want to be on. Relish in the “what’s good” about being single and make a list of the things you get to do now that you have more time. Read more books, develop deeper friendships, focus on completing projects that kept getting put on the back burner, go to sleep when you want and cherish that the remote control is all yours.

If Hough took our advice, we think she’d be well on her way to getting over her breakup with Mr. American Idol. Remember: there are plenty of (taller) fish in the sea!