By Diamon Hall

Baseball season is winding down, but there’s a lot couples can learn from the game to help keep their romance alive.  In the beginning of a relationship, hardly anybody complains about romance, since you’re still on Cloud 9.  And if you don’t know how to keep things flowing, it can eventually start to die down the longer you’re together.  Here are five tips to rejuvenate and enhance you and your honey’s relationship and keep it as romantic as possible:

1. Relive your first date: Go back to where you started.  Have dinner at the very spot you had your first date and relive that moment.  Talk about the memories and the feelings you had at that point.  This is always a sweet way to score a home run with your honey.

2. Be your relationship’s biggest fan: You can never go wrong with pouring out your heart to the one you love.  Your partner will fall for you all over again every single time if you just remind him or her how much they truly mean to you.  Join your significant other’s booster club and watch your relationship soar!

3. Announce it on the Jumbotron: Not only is it a good idea to let your partner know how you feel, but it’s also a plus if you let everyone else know.  People will have a brand new outlook on your relationship when you display your love to the world.  Plus, if the world knows about it, then it’s definitely true love.

4. 7th Inning Stretch – Renew your vows: Whether married or not, renewal of vows is a committment on both ends.  You don’t necessariy have to be married to do this.  It can simply consist of a few words, letting him or her know that you are theirs and they are yours and nothing should be able to come between your bond.

5. Show up to every game:There is just no easier way to turn up the romance in a relationship than through three simple words.  You guessed it: “I love you.”  Who doesn’t want to hear those words everyday from his or her significant other?  They are the “Grand Slam” of one-liners.

If you follow these tips, you and your lover can be sure to have one of the highest-scoring relationships ever.  What tips do you have to keep your romance alive?  Share your ideas below.

By Deana Meccariello

Kailen Rosenberg is a nationally-respected matchmaker and relationship expert who has helped many stars establish celebrity relationships throughout the years. She has a gift for bringing you back to the person you really are deep-down inside and helping you to shed the hard-coated exterior that society has forced you to wear.  Given her background, it’s no surprise that she’s best described as a “love architect.” So what is a love architect?  It’s someone who comes into a person’s life, whether they are married or single, to help find cracks in their foundation (which is where the idea of an “architect” came from) that are in need of strengthening and repair.

As Rosenberg explains, “Whether you look at it spiritually or psychologically, I’m helping to mend areas that need truth and awakening. I come in and find those areas that need work, and then I help my clients come to their own truth. They discover which parts haven’t been solid and built in a healthy way.  Once that’s done, they can finally have the relationship and love that they’ve always wanted and deserve.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 5 Signs He’s Mr. Now and Not Mr. Right

Kailen Rosenberg Discusses Being a Dating Expert on Reality TV Show The Bachelor

As proven by the many romance-focused reality TV shows of today, singles are finding it harder than ever to find a partner. Rosenberg can attest to that, having served as a matchmaker and relationship expert on season three of The Bachelor. “I worked behind-the-scenes in regards to seeking out the right bachelorettes for the show.  I actually interviewed Bob the Bachelor,” she reveals.

Reality TV or not, the dating expert can shine a light in the dark corners of an individual’s personality and help them truly find what — and who — they are looking for. She explains, “When most people come to me, they look pretty darn amazing in person and on paper.  They believe that they like who they are, and in many ways, when we’re talking about the ego, they do like who they are.”

Rosenberg expands on this expert love advice and adds, “However, they come to me believing that the issue isn’t really about them but rather about finding the right person. During my beginning assessment process, people begin to realize that they never knew who they were and that they became the person they were told to be or taught to be by society. Therefore, they’re not only attracted to the wrong people, but they’re also attracting the wrong people.”

With this thought in mind, her first priority is to teach people who they truly are. “After I finally introduce and match my client with their true self, then we can get down to who this person should be dating.  We’ve put over 200 marriages together and haven’t had one divorce, which is just crazy and unheard of,” she shares. “I think it’s because these people are connecting on a genuine level that most people never have the opportunity to experience.”

Related Link: Top 10 Things to Know Before Hiring a Matchmaker

Revealing how important her work is to her, Rosenberg gushes from the other end of the phone, “It’s much more than matchmaking to me.”

The relationship expert knows that, in order to find love, her client must be a healthy-minded person. They have to be in a place where they are self-aware and know that what they’ve been doing isn’t working. This kind of acknowledgement tends to set the mind for positive experiences, whether they’re an everyday person or a celebrity.  For example, a radiant and successful woman with everything going for her, like Jennifer Aniston, will still have problems keeping a man if she doesn’t have this mind set.

In fact, speaking of Aniston, Rosenberg says, “I do have clients that know her and say she’s lovely. However, there is a very apparent trend in her love life. She is darling, and there is so much to like about her, but there is something going on with her, something that she needs to pay attention to. She needs to get down to the reality of what it is that she is doing. What is surfacing in her relationships after a certain level of intimacy, and what unhealthy pattern she keeps accepting into her life? I really think that’s what it comes down to for her.”

The Highs and Lows of Celebrity Couple Clients

Celebrity relationships, media, and technology can be a dangerous mix. Rosenberg says that there are people, like Kim Kardashian, who are being followed around by a camera and dealing with sensationalism in every aspect of their love lives. Then on a real-world level, we have people using Facebook, Twitter and other social networking platforms to post every detail about their relationships — from happy pictures of the good times to angry rants detailing a harsh fight or break-up.

Related Link: Use Your Five Senses for a More Fulfilled Love Life

“The reality is that they’re publicizing who they are as well as their personal relationships, and when you act this way, people are going to look at you and scrutinize you — the good and the bad,” the dating expert explains. “As a couple, you need to be a team and understand that all that matters is what you and your partner know to be the truth.”

Rosenberg then adds, “If there is something that is triggering a pain or disconnect from the outside based on what you read or see, that’s something that you have to look within to understand. Couples need to be grounded in what love is really meant to be and not the attention it can bring.”

Another fascinating component of the relationship expert business is what she refers to as a “life remodel.” This particular piece caters to — but is not limited to — people in Maria Shriver’s position. For people who have been cheated on and are struggling with a messy divorce, Rosenberg can bring a person back from the ashes and help them move on. “In a case like Maria’s, there are always signs. We always have life poking at us with the truth, and it is up to us whether or not we want to see it,” she says.

However, this mindset is easier said than done. “Sadly, most times, we choose to turn a blind eye to things that are not good for us, and eventually, it comes crashing down. Then, we no longer have power or control,” says Rosenberg. “I think someone in Maria’s situation would have to ask, ‘Were there signs? How far back? Why did I choose to ignore them?’ It is important for Maria to forgive herself and, as hard as it may sound, to forgive Arnold. The most amazing thing is that sometimes, from the deepest trenches of pain, we can end up finding the most amazing love we’ve ever had.”

It always goes back to your past. “You have to look at your view on relationships, including that of your mother and father. What was your vision of love, and what is it now?,” Rosenberg asks. “Focus on what loving you means as well as what is still good and precious in your life. Surround yourself with people who are truthful.”

By Dr. Karin Anderson, Ph.D.

The Question

You’re single.  You’d like to be in a relationship.  So, what’s the problem?

The Myth

Well, if you ask around, you’ll get plenty of input as to what you’re doing wrong.  Your friends insist you need to “get out there” more.  Your mother complains that you’re too picky.  Your coworker swears that if you just get online, you’ll meet “The One” in no time.

Or in some cases, your family and friends take it a step further.  While conducting a little arm chair psychoanalysis, they determine that the core issue keeping you lonely on Saturday nights is YOU.  You’re flawed, damaged–a dating disaster zone.  They say you’re alone because you keep messing up your relationships.  You’re too controlling or too passive; too intimidating or too low-key.  Too opinionated or too boring.

And even if your friends and family hold their tongues, the rest of society doesn’t.  Bookstores’ self-help sections preach the same rhetoric with titles like, Getting Married After 30: You Won’t Unless You Change and Ten Things to Fix Today to Meet “The One” Tomorrow.  Clearly, single people need to shape up or expect to live alone forever.

Really?

The Break Down

Let’s dig deeper.  If I’m single and un-datable due to annoying personality traits and relationship-destroying habits, then how is it that plenty of annoying people with relationship-destroying habits are happily coupled-up?  Of course many single people have issues they need to address, too, and working through these concerns might help them cultivate healthier, more functional connections.  But what about married people?   Just because they’ve got a partner doesn’t mean they have it all together.  In fact, the very reason they got married in the first place may reveal their dysfunction.  Where’s the self-help for them?   Books with titles like, Why Did You Settle for That Loser? and You Were Too Much of a Wimp to Live Solo so You Married the First Person Who Came Your Way are potential titles.

The Reality

Here’s how it works.  Despite what most self-help authors claim, there is no formula for the perfect match.  Every happy couple consists of two flawed individuals with a unique union that works for them.  All guys aren’t out there looking for the same type of woman and all women aren’t searching for the exact same kind of guys.   Forget all of the nonsense about figuring out what you need to change about yourself, because somebody out there wants exactly what you have to offer.

It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet

So, if you’re too “controlling”, then great.  Someone wants you to tell them what needs to be done so they can do it.  If you’re too “boring”, then fantastic.  Your perfect match has just sworn off drama queens and is praying for a low key partner.  If you’re too “opinionated”, then wonderful.  You’ll find someone who can’t take a stance on anything and is happy to have someone else make decisions about where to eat and where to go on vacation.  It’s really as simple as that.  Hang in there.  Be yourself.  It just hasn’t happened yet!

Dr. Karin Anderson is an associate professor of psychology and counselor education at Concordia University Chicago.   She has a doctorate in developmental psychology, a track record of well-received presentations at national and international psychology conferences, and a speaking platform focusing on women’s identity construction and cultivation.  She’s also the author of the book, It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet.

By Whitney Baker

Spending a lazy afternoon at a ball game can be the perfect casual date — and celebrity couples seem to think so, too.  Sometimes, celeb sightings at a sporting event can be as entertaining at the game itself.  There may even be as much action off the court as there is on it.

So the next time you attend a sporting event — whether it be hockey, basketball or baseball — keep your eyes open for the famous duos below:

1. Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher: In February, Underwood’s hockey-playing hubby was traded from the Ottawa Senators to the Nashville Predators.  Shortly after, Fisher moved into his wife’s Brentwood, CA, home (and into her closet), and for the first time during their marriage, the newlyweds settled in the same city.  Fans can rest assured that, once the hockey season starts up again in October, Underwood will be at as many home games as her hectic schedule allows.

2. Beyoncé and Jay-Z: This musical duo share more than just their choice of career: they also share a love of basketball.  The glamorous couple — with Beyoncé wearing heels, no less — is often on hand to cheer for the New Jersey Nets.  Spotted at home and away games in cities such as Newark, Dallas, and Los Angeles, their frequent sightings make perfect sense; after all, Jay-Z is a part-owner of the team.

3. Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter: Kelly is a fixture at Yankee Stadium, cheering on her boyfriend of three years from a luxury box, along with his family and friends.  Recently, she was on-hand to celebrate Jeter’s 3,000^th career hit.  Beyond attending his games, Kelly and her New York Yankees captain-beau often work out together, proving that the couple that stays fit together, stays together.

4. Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie: Duff has followed Comrie’s hockey career as he has been transferred from the New York Islanders to the Edmonton Oilers to the Ottawa Senators.  Comrie is now playing for the Pittsburgh Penguins, and the couple has settled into a newlywed life filled with a lot of cross-country traveling between their homes in Pittsburgh and Los Angeles.  With her husband in the rink, she may bring along another celebrity couple to keep her company: sister Haylie Duff and her longtime beau, Nick Zano.

5. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries: This reality star can often be found sitting courtside as she roots for her love, New Jersey Nets forward, Kris Humphries.  With the couple house-hunting in New Jersey and New York, chances are high that Kardashian will be making her mark as one of the team’s celebrity fans.  Kardashian is following in her younger sister’s footsteps in more ways than one: after Khloé Kardashian’s own whirlwind romance, she wed Los Angeles Lakers forward, Lamar Odom, in 2009.

Who is your favorite sporty celebrity couple?  Share your thoughts below!

By Ashley DelBello

“I teach women to be ladies and men to be gentlemen,” says model turned relationship coach, Melanie Mar who has worked with Hollywood’s most elite celebrities and couples to help them find love in their life and more importantly, within themselves.

Melanie Mar is the founder of Melanie Mar International and a partner of Patti Stanger’s Millionaire’s Club Matchmaking Agency.  You may also recognize her from last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where she is seen coaching Taylor Armstrong about her marriage to Russell Armstrong.  We had the chance to catch up with Mar and get her advice for couples in a relationship, as well as for those who are navigating the single scene.  She offered some amazing insight. Ladies take note.

One of the most common dating challenges for single women who live in big cities like LA or NY is that they find it too hard to meet a man.  “Women have become much more independent and now they’re competing with men,” says Mar.  “There’s a lot of masculinity out there these days and it takes so much courage for today’s man to approach today’s woman.  He has no idea what reaction he’ll get,” she explains.

Mar continues by noting that anytime women are working, it means they’re using their left brain, which is their logical and doing mode, it’s the one that’s needed to do a job successfully.  The opposite lobe is where our emotions lie.  Interestingly, the left brain is also the lobe that men use, hence where the competitiveness comes into play.

“There are four people in every relationship because we’re all masculine and we’re all feminine.  You know when you’re being one or the other.  In fact, one of the things that I tell my women [clients] when they’re struggling with this is when you’ve finished work, come home and take one hour and do something feminine.  I don’t care if it’s taking a bath, walking the dog, or playing music.  I don’t care what it is, but get into that feminine side.”

A Harvard study on why we marry found that approximately two-thirds of women marry for status and stability and the other 33 percent marry for sensual and sexual pleasure.  However, the study found the exact opposite for men — where two-thirds of men marry for the sensual and sexual.  When these men come home after work, they want to come home to a sensual home — meaning they don’t want to work or compete once they’ve walked in the door.

“If you’re a woman who wants a “real” man, turn it off when you get home,” Mar advises.  “It’s so crucial to take that one hour — and you should tell your partner that you need to do this to become a better girlfriend, wife, or significant other.  It’s so important for women not to compete, control or conquer their men because you won’t respect them and the men if they’re real men, won’t tolerate it.  You’ll be banging heads every time you open your mouth.”

Mar’s generously offered some tips for those looking to find that special someone:

– Stop going out in groups: It takes a lot of guts for a guy to approach a woman, much less a group of women.  Mar advises if you’re specifically going out to meet a guy, then don’t go out with more than one girlfriend.  If a man does approach you, remember to be nice to him even if you’re not interested (unless he is a drunk or a creep of course!), since he mustered up a lot of courage to come talk to you.

– Make your body language very clear: Look around.  Find a guy you’re interested in.  Make eye contact, hold it and SMILE.  Melanie calls that “dropping the hanky” and men need a hanky dropped!  It’s very difficult for men to understand what women are doing so Mar always says to “drop the hanky,” hold the look, smile, and be open and inviting because he’s taking cues from your body signals.

– Do not sit there, huddled in a deep conversation with your girlfriends: Enough said.

– Do not go up to him: Let him come to you.  And if he still doesn’t approach you, then you know that you did your part.  He’s either in a relationship, not interested or gay.

– Keep the ball in his court: If he gives you his business card, turn it over, write your number on the back, and hand it back to him.

– Let him chase you: “That’s another mistake today’s woman is making,” says Mar.  “Women are calling, texting, inviting — making it far too easy for men.  He doesn’t want it to be that easy.  He might think he does, but he doesn’t.  He wants to work for it.”

– Flirt five times a day for five minutes: Practice on guys that you’re not interested in.  Smile at a guy at Starbucks.  Catch the eye of a guy in the grocery store.  Wherever you go — practice.  You may not be into them, but you’re practicing flirting.  Some of them will come up and want to talk to you, but that’s more practice (just don’t forget to be polite when exiting the conversation).  Eventually, you’ll see a guy who you like and it won’t be difficult because you’ve done it so many times.

– Ask yourself what type of guy you like and go where they would go: If you want a business guy who is worldly then go to an elegant hotel bar like the side bar at Beverly Wilshire.  If you want a younger person who is more hip, then go to a trendy restaurant like Boa.  If you want a church guy, then go to church.  Make sure you’ve answered these questions before you step out the door.

Not wanting to leave anyone out, Mar’s also offered advice for those who are already in a relationship:

– Get a verbal contract: “I’m not a moralist, but when you decide to sleep with a guy, it does make a difference.”  Mar says that having a verbal contract is important so that you both are clear about what you’re doing.  “I don’t care what that contract is.  I don’t care if you have one that says this is a one night stand but you need one.  “There’s nothing worse than a woman having sex with a man and presuming that they’re in a monogamous relationship.  Just because a woman spends a month or two getting to know a guy doesn’t mean he isn’t dating other people.  A verbal contract will let you know where you stand so that you’re both clear on your expectations.

– Negotiate time, sex, money and space: Take “time” for example.  You say it’s important to have a certain amount of time to yourself – negotiate with your partner how much time that is.  For each of these categories, you should also negotiate “I,” “We,” and “Us.”  The “I” is time by yourself, the “We” is what you guys do together, and the “Us” is what you’re doing together with other people.  “It’s really important to negotiate these things in order to keep the lines of communication open.  If you do this, then the arguments are less and the peaceful atmosphere is more.”  Melanie advises couples to negotiate often: every two months during the first year, every three months during the second year and every six months after that.

– It always comes back to communication: “If you can’t communicate, you’re in trouble.  If you can logically communicate with each other, then you’re already ahead of the game.”

– Sex is important: You need to negotiate what’s right for each of you and find that middle ground that you’re both happy with.  “If it happens more than what you negotiated, and you both were in mutual agreement, then that’s great.  If it’s less, then you need to work on it,” says Mar.

– Reconnect with your feminine side: Take a bubble bath, drink a glass of wine, do your nails — just do something feminine.

– Communicate clearly and often: “What I teach is so important because verbal communication only takes up 15 percent of our communication … so you better make sure what comes out of your mouth makes sense.”

To learn more about Melanie Mar and where she’s taking her advice next, visit her Facebook page or www.melaniemar.com.

By Danielle Devorah of GalTime.com

When it comes to looks, women are typically more forgiving than men.  I tend to believe that the first thing that attracts a man to a woman is her looks.  On the other hand, a woman wants a man who comes off as intelligent, powerful, and strong.  That does not necessarily equate to “good looking”. I remember dating a guy several years ago who was a very well known male model.  On a scale of 1-10 this guy was an 11, for sure! He was tall, had a chiseled facial structure, strong arms.  I remember taking him to parties with me and even my male friends said, “Wow, he’s a good looking dude”. But, he was, well, dumb as a rock.  After a couple dates and many ridiculous conversations with him, I dumped him.  I no longer saw how gorgeous he was and just imagined him as an immature 15-year-old boy.  Years later, he actually married a very famous actress and ironically she’s very smart. I guess she didn’t need someone on her level and enjoyed the arm candy.

As for me, I began gravitating to more intelligent guys that had charisma.  I actually found their minds to be sexy over their appearance. One guy I dated was an inch shorter and even bald (but I’m 6′ 2″ with heels so I need to be fair).  I cried over this one and totally fell for his personality. Bottom line: you don’t need to look like a movie star or male model to land a quality girl.  In fact, most of the men I was crazy about were not so great looking at all. But they were always in shape and well put together, and most importantly– confident.

I look at a couple of things when I meet a guy for the first time.  Does he appear confident, what does his posture say, how is he dressed, does he have too much gel in his hair, is he overweight?  If his shirt is open, I don’t want to see chest hair!  I also notice his watch and shoes, believe it or not. And trust me I’m not the only woman who pays attention to that stuff.

I know all of these things can come across as shallow, but at the end of the day these small details can make a difference in whether or not the guy gets the girl to say “yes” to the first date.

Learn about Jcoach Image Consultant Danielle Devorah and set up an appointment to get your special Jcoach discounted rate.

The job, the husband, the family and the body: Kate Reddy (Sarah Jessica Parker) has it all — at least on the surface.  Reddy, a financial executive for a big New York company in Boston, is also the main breadwinner and mother of two in I Don’t Know How She Does It.  Problems she has juggling this already busy lifestyle become worse as Reddy makes an ambitious pitch to her boss (Pierce Brosnan) while her husband (Greg Kinnear) lands a new job. Based on a book of the same title, Parker’s character has to learn that everything she aims for has a price.

How do you know when you’ve put your career ahead of family?

Cupid’s Advice:

Although this is difficult to determine because each person’s situation is different, here are some ways to determine whether work is taking over your life:

1. Necessity: It’s one thing if you’re bringing in all of the income for your family and it’s another thing if you don’t necessarily need to be away from them.  Try to keep a balance if at all possible.

2. Kids are suffering: Should you choose to focus on your career and less on your partner or family, you need to make sure your kids will be well taken care of; if not, you need to tone the work down a notch.

3. Future repercussions: It’s not always a question of what you love more (family or career), but often a question of your emotional attachment.  Decide which you would miss more if you were to give it up.

Release Date: Sept. 16

Rating: 2.5/5

By Deana Meccariello

Whether you’re out at a bar for the night or on a date, a man’s drink can tell you a great deal about him. Whether he orders an ice-cold brewski, a glass of fine wine, or a shot of hard liquor, we pulled together some interesting theories on what his drink just may say about his current mood and intentions. So, next time your date takes a sip of one of these libations, keep our tell-tale clues in mind:

Beer: When a man orders a beer, it can mean many different things. It really depends on the type of beer he orders. Generally, however, a man who orders a beer is out to loosen up and have a good time with friends.

Wine. A man drinking wine exudes class. Details are probably very important to him. If he takes his time selecting the perfect wine, he will take the time and care to impress you as well.

Hard Liquor (Bourbon, Whiskey, Scotch, etc.). A man who prefers hard liquor wants everyone to know he’s classy (whether he actually is or not is another story). In any case, this is a high-maintenance man.

Cocktails (Tequila, Vodka, Rum, Gin, etc.). It is said that men who order cocktails may be a little feminine. This stereotype came about due to the playful garnishes that are served with these drinks, such as limes, cherries, and miniature onions. However, in a group setting, it is acceptable for a man to indulge in a few cocktails to have a good time.

Shots. A man knocking back the shots at the bar is out for one of two things: Either he is extremely emotional and trying to forget something bad that has happened to him, like a break-up or a losing a job; or he is out to party. Shots are a red flag. It means he is not taking anything seriously and is looking to alter his state of mind considerably. According to a professional in the field of mental health, and a qualified Counselor with certificates in Neuro-Linguistic-Programming, Bridget Webber states, “When indulging in shots, it is so he can get drunk quickly and obliterate any worries and problems. A man drinking [shots] on his own, then, is to be avoided, unless you want to hear about how his wife doesn’t understand him.” So there you have it! Steer clear of a man throwing back one too many Jamesons.

Frozen Drinks (Margarita, Pina Colada, etc.). Another major red flag, a little colorful umbrella is a warning to stay away. The man who consistently orders these tropical drinks is someone who wants to seem like he is forever on vacation. He will try to impress you in many ridiculous ways, but being a smart woman, you will see right through him.

Some people believe that regardless of the beverage he chooses for himself, it is the drink he orders for you that really makes a statement. Head instructor at New York Bartending School, Ryan Yonskie, believes just that. “When someone is looking for physical intimacy, they order stereotypical drinks for the opposite sex. Men always send sweet, colorful drinks to women, such as a Cosmo, and women always send men shots.”

Tell us what you think. What is more telling of a man’s behavior and intentions: What he drinks himself, or what he orders for you?

This dramatic season of Bachelor Pad 2 has finally come to an end. In this week’s episode, the contenders performed with Cirque de Soleil’s Ka, Blake proposed to Holly, the winners were declared and the next Bachelor was announced. We had a chance to chat with our Bachelor Pad 2 experts, David Good and Natalie Getz, to see what their thoughts were about the season finale.

Kasey and Vienna did quite well in the final challenge, but ultimately didn’t get a chance to compete for the final prize. What are your closing thoughts on how they chose to play the game? Do you think they will remain together long-term?

He said: I think they played the game great! People can dislike them as a couple but they still controlled the whole show till the end. As far as a couple, I wish them the best but I don’t see it working out from what we got to see of them on TV.

She said: They did a great job and really played off of each other’s chemistry very well. I was super impressed! It was very close, so I think the judges could have gone either way. I was with them in San Diego for Jesse Kovac’s wine bar/clothing boutique opening over the weekend, and they still seem very much in love. They certainly have their fair share of fights just like a lot of other couples, but they love each other. Now that they live together, I really can’t see these two separating.

If you had been Michael and Holly, would you have made the same choice they did when they decided to let Graham and Michelle head to the finals with them?

He said: Yes, I would have. It’s about friendship and integrity that goes beyond the show.

She said: No, I would have actually chosen Kasey and Vienna. Graham and Michelle had less drama with the cast, so they would have been a tougher competition. Strategically, they would have received more votes. Turns out, they got all the votes anyway. Then again, had I been a part of season two and saw Michael hurting over the recent news of Holly’s engagement to Blake, I would have voted Michael to win as well. At least he didn’t walk away empty handed.

Michael didn’t know about Holly and Blake’s engagement before the finale. How do you think he handled the news on-camera? And were you surprised when he ultimately decided to “share” the money with Holly?

He said: I think he handled it with class. That goes to show what a good person he is and I would expect nothing less from him. I knew he would share the money with her. That’s the kind of person he is. He deserves better than her anyway.

She said: I think he was in a state of shock that it actually happened and Holly didn’t call to warn him. I was surprised she allowed them to film it to be honest with you. She could have said no and spared Michael’s feelings. I wasn’t surprised at all by Michael sharing the money. I know him well and he has the biggest heart and is sincerely kind and generous in everything he does. He is humble and logical. He once loved Holly and out of maturity, he still wouldn’t want to screw her over. He is almost too good of a person to his own fault.

Are you surprised Blake and Holly are engaged and moving in together so quickly? And what did you think about their on-camera engagement; do you think we will see a Bachelor Pad wedding in the near future? Any other couples from this season that you think may have a wedding in their future?

He said: I am surprised because I know Holly and expected more out of her. She is in love with the thought of falling in love and that is her weakness. I promise you she is very unsure about all this and it’s moving way too fast. I don’t see a wedding in their future but even after everything they did, I still think they deserve to be happy if that’s what they want.

She said: I don’t think we will see any other couple engaged anytime soon unless producers push for it. I was so shocked about the engagement. I didn’t really know what to think when Holly showed me her ring at the wrap party. Of course I was happy for her; she is my friend. That being said, I voiced my concern to her that I was worried about her moving across the country for a 2 month long distant relationship. But like they say….when you know, you know. I’m happy she is happy.

Michael and Holly are the winners of Bachelor Pad 2 — do you agree Michael was the strongest competitor this season? And what exactly do you think Holly brought to the partnership?

He said: Holly was a good support system for Mike believe it or not. He got sympathy points from everyone because of her. I think he played as good or the best of anyone there.

She said: Michael hands down won that game and deserved it. He was by far the strongest competitor with his genuine personality and athletic/coordination skills.

If you’ll miss all the rose action, be sure to catch the premiere of The Bachelor in January, Ben Flajnik has been officially announced as the next Bachelor.  Until next time!

By Lindsey P.

As challenging as the college-dating scene may seem, many people do meet and enter into a long-term relationship during their college years.  We all know the story of how Kate Middleton lucked out when she met her future husband, Prince William, in college.  Their relationship stayed strong throughout school and resulted in one of the most talked about weddings of the decade.

Of course, not everyone finds their Prince Charming on campus, but there are plenty of ways to leverage your chances of meeting the right guy while you’re busy shuffling off to class, eating a bowl of cereal in the cafeteria or watching the school’s basketball team take it to the finals.

Here are a few tips to study up on:

Discovering Non-Intimidating Techniques

If there’s someone in your class or on your campus that you’re interested in, find natural ways to let them know.  There’s more to introducing yourself than a simple “hello.”  Strike up a conversation about your class assignment or homework, and once the discussion gets rolling, ask if they want to get together for a study session.  Be specific about making plans; don’t just say it rhetorically.  Ask them to get together that night or the following night.  For young women who aren’t used to being assertive in dating situations, this technique is a non-intimidating way to get to know someone.

Sending Clear Messages

Many college students date more than one person at a time.  In fact, it’s a part of the college experience for many young people.  When you’re dating a guy at school, make sure there’s open communication about what he wants, what you want and where the relationship is headed.  Many women tend to avoid “the talk” out of fear that the relationship will end if they say anything.  But a person’s intentions are usually staring us in the face; it’s just a matter of whether or not we choose to accept them.  By being clear with the person you’re dating, it can save a lot of wasted time with the wrong person and open the door for someone new and serious to come into your life.  If you’re not sure what you want, that’s okay.  Just know that if you’re open and honest with the guy that you’re dating, it’ll save you headaches and maybe a broken heart later.

Setting Priorities

Of course, you’re in college to earn your degree, so that should be your first priority.  However, learning to balance a relationship with your school work can actually make you better at work/life balance once you leave college.  For now, concentrating on your classes should be at the top of your list, so if you’re in a situation where your relationship or dating life is monopolizing your time, it’s probably best to step back a bit and reassess things.

Dating while you’re in school can be a lot of fun and can be a chance to meet new people and decide what you want in a long-term relationship for the future.

Lindsey P. is a freelance writer and editor from the Midwest.  She writes on behalf of Colorado Technical University.

In Jackie Collins’ world, romance is sexier, Hollywood stars burn brighter and revenge runs deeper. The London born lurid legend looks at American culture through a savvy, satirist’s eye, using iconic pop culture figures as her inspiration. In Goddess of Vengeance (St. Martin’s Press) the author’s famed femme fatale Lucky Santangelo is back, with a cast of sexy, wicked characters all clawing for positions of power. Fierce, funny with a sensual shot of fame, Collins teaches us how to claw to the top and stay there. We spoke with Collins about how far she would go for love, why vengeance is so attractive and the surprises she still has in store. To order a copy of her new book you can go to www.JackieCollins.com and follow her on Twitter at @jackiecollins.

Royal Young writes for Interview Magazine and just completed his debut memoir, FAME SHARK. Follow him at Twitter.com/RoyalYoung

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By Melissa Tierney

There’s no denying we are a society addicted to technology.  While this fact may not necessarily be a bad thing when it comes to your day-to-day life, our technological habits may be making it impossible to form ‘real’ relationships with the targets of our affection.  It seems that the days of in-person or over-the-phone conversations are gone, and instead we are left with e-mail, texting, or social networking sites as the normal way of communicating, normally in 140 characters or less.  So although technology may make it easier to meet someone, does it really help nurture a relationship?

1. Tuning Out the World Around You: It’s become a part of life to have our Blackberry stuck to our ear whether we are at work, running errands or even out with friends, but what does this say about us?  Experts agree, when people are glued to their phones it’s a sign that they aren’t open to meeting new people.  This is the complete opposite message you want to be sending if you are indeed “on the market.”  If you seem preoccupied and uninterested, no one is going to approach you in order to get to know you, let alone ask you out.  Whether you’re out alone or with your friends, take some helpful advice and put the phone down – you never know who may be watching you, waiting to make his or her move.

2. More Likely to Cheat:Studies have proven that people who are addicted to technology and social networking are more likely to cheat.  Since they are constantly ‘meeting’ new people every day, and communicating with them via the Internet, it is more likely to turn a friendly conversation into flirting.  The worst part of this is that others don’t even consider what they are doing as ‘cheating’ or ‘flirting’.  By being able to meet someone with the click of a mouse, it makes people appreciate less what they already have.

3. Cyberstalking: With sites like Facebook, Twitter and Four Square, people are now able to track down their partner’s whereabouts without being caught.  By engaging in this kind of behavior, you can ruin an existing or new relationship.  When you cyber-stalk your honey, you’re going to over-analyze everything they do:  who they are talking to; who they have pictures with; and where they are going.   This may indicate a trust issue in the relationship.  While you may be tempted to cyber-stalk your beau, don’t do it –  it will cause nothing, but problems.

4. Not Paying Attention: How annoying is it to go on a date with someone who won’t turn their phone off and focus his attention on you?  Just because you have your phone with you, that doesn’t mean you should be responding to a text, e-mail, or call.  When you’re on a date, you should be focusing your attention on the other person and what he or she is saying.  How are you supposed to get to know someone who you might possibly have a future with if you can’t even focus and pay attention in the present?

5. It’s Not Official Until It’s On the Internet: Apparently relationships are no longer ‘official’ until they’re spread all over the internet, which makes many people feel uncomfortable.  So it begs the question – is it necessary to plaster your relationship status all over Facebook?  On the one hand, some believe that unless you have something to hide, you and your beau should both change your relationship status on Facebook as well as indicate who you are in a relationship with to show you are both ‘off limits’.  Conversely, others believe that your ‘status’ shouldn’t be broadcast on a website and that it isn’t anyone else’s business.  Either way, 5 years ago this situation wasn’t something we had to deal with and it’s another reason why technology may be ruining your dating life.

What other examples can you think of that demonstrate technology is taking a toll on your dating life? Share your thoughts below!

By Maggie T.

First dates can be stressful enough without having to worry about what to wear and how to accessorize for the occasion.   By sticking with classic fashion that never goes out of style and wearing clothes that are comfortable, you can keep your anxiety level to a minimum.  Here are a few stylish yet comfortable clothing suggestions to fit three of the most common first date experiences:

Lunch Date

A lunch date is a bit more casual if it happens during the weekday, as you will both be dressed in business casual or work attire.   There’s not much you can do there.  However, if your lunch date takes place on the weekend, then you will have a few more options.  Whether it’s a picnic in the park, dining on an outdoor restaurant deck or at a local coffee house, lunch dates can be an invigorating way to start the day.

1. printed scarf 2. cuffed shorts 3. woven top 4.sandals 5. mini messenger bag 6. aviator sunglasses

The key to this type of date is to keep it casual.  A light-colored, button down shirt and a pair of cuffed shorts looks clean and classic when paired with strappy sandals.  You can accessorize the look with a scarf to make it a bit trendy as well.  It comes in handy if you get chilly, and it’s an easy way to spice up an outfit. If the date is outside, a great pair of sunglasses is a must.  You’ll also need a go-to purse. This cross-the-body messenger bag isn’t too small, and it will keep your hands free.  Neutral and earth-toned jewelry and make-up will complete this polished-looking ensemble.

Casual Dinner Date

Are you going to dinner and a movie on your first date?  Movies typically aren’t a great first date experience because not much talking can be done while you are watching the screen in silence among hundreds of other film-goers.  However, if your date tops it off with dinner, then a movie can be a great icebreaker because it gives you something to discuss later on.   You may even get bonus points if you bring a large purse and fill it with your favorite candy to share.  If a movie isn’t on the agenda but a casual meal is, try not to pick a place that’s too loud; it can be hard to keep the flow of conversation going if you’re yelling back and forth.

1. printed scarf 2. green handbag 3. black heels 4. green flats 5. skinny jeans 6. grey sweater

Skinny jeans and a cute top make are a great look for a dinner date.   You can dress this outfit up or down in a number of ways.   For example, you can pair it with heels for a sophisticated look or flats if you want to keep it casual. Either way, it works.  Similar to the above suggestion, bring along a scarf to tie the outfit together.  It’s always colder indoors, and scarves are much less bulky than jackets.   When you warm up, you can just stash the scarf in your purse.

Formal Date

The guy you’ve been admiring for weeks finally asks you out on a date.  He mentions a restaurant that you know is extremely formal.  What do you wear?   Whether it’s a fancy restaurant, a special event or the theater, there are only two words to describe this date: lucky you!  Don’t sweat because now is your time to shine and look fabulous.  Play up your best qualities and embrace your feminine side.   If you’re heading somewhere classy, you should absolutely wear a dress.  Don’t wear anything too short or too low-cut.  You don’t need to give away all the goods on the first date.    Play with fabrics and patterns, and create a look that leaves him imagining more and begging for a second date.

1. sleeveless dress 2. evening scarf 3. teardrop earrings 4. dark nail polish  5. black strappy heels 6. heart pendant 7.  lace clutch

A pretty dress is an essential wardrobe piece in any woman’s closet — it can be dressed up or down, and it can be used for many different occasions.   This crème dress from H&M can be worn on a date, at work, or anywhere you need to look nice.  I’ve paired it with a black sequined scarf, but you could just as easily pair it with a black blazer or cardigan.   Keeping with the theme of dark accessories, break out a pair of black heels and a black lace clutch.  Don’t be afraid of dark nail polish either (it’s not goth!).  Dark colors work really well if the manicure is fresh.

Whether you choose to keep it casual on your first date or your special someone wants to make it fancy and special, it’s important that you feel comfortable with what you’re wearing.  The more relaxed you feel about your outfit, the more you can focus on the handsome suitor by your side.  Using these tips, your date will have no choice but to ask you out again.

Author Bio: During the day, Maggie works for ReadingGlassesShopper.com, where she makes wearing reading glasses fashionable.  On her down time, she enjoys listening to music, trying new recipes, and traveling.

By GalTime Dating Diva Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.

It’s time for the big MERGE!  You finally found The One and you are moving in together or getting married.  Exciting, thrilling and… bumpy?   When two adults decide to come together to create one life, there can be a few bumps along the way.

Even the most compatible partners will still have differences when it comes to habits, interests, and yes, even decorating taste.  Now that you share a bathroom, how do you negotiate those small and sometimes ugly discrepancies while keeping your bond strong?  It’s easy when you keep in mind your UNIFYING VISION.

Here’s a secret.  Most couples create damage to their union when they forget the big picture and, instead, focus on nitty-gritty details.   Before long, you can ruin an entire weekend shouting about who takes out the garbage, whether his ugly old lamp gets to stay, and if you can read in bed while the other person tries to go to sleep.

So, how do you find the right compromise on all of the little differences that threaten to weaken your love?  Remember, it’s never really about the little things.  When we argue about the small things, it’s really the big hidden issues that we are playing tug of war over, such as feeling loved, trusted or respected.

The solution: Identify the underlying issue and bring your focus back to your Unifying Vision for your relationship.

Let’s take a peek into how to make this happen.

Step 1: Create Your Unifying Vision

When you set up house together it’s the perfect time to explicitly commit to the vision you have for your lives together.  Sit down and take some notes on the biggest question of all:  What do we really want our life together to look like?

Brainstorm on such topics as:

– What are the 5 top values or attributes that guide the way we want to interact with each other?  For example: loving, trustworthy, respectful, honest, reliable…

– What are the 3 most important qualities we want our free time together/activities to embody?  For example: novelty, adventure, relaxation, intellectual stimulation…

– What characteristics do we want our home/living space and routines to embody to support our bond?  For example: organized, cozy, bright, romantic…

Once you have the big picture in mind, little disputes become much easier to resolve by referring back to what you agreed really matters.

Step 2: Identify the Underlying Concern

When a conflict crops up, before you get embroiled in your stances, take a deep breathe and step back.  Ask yourself or each other:  What is really bothering me here?  Which of my deepest held values or needs is being triggered by this situation?

It could be that your argument about him leaving the toothpaste cap off is really about not feeling heard.  Or maybe his need to be on time is rubbing your more care-free nature the wrong way.

Step 3: Decide Based on your Unifying Vision

Once you know what is really going on, go back to the big picture: the vision you and your partner have for your lives.  Based on what’s most important to you both, the things you do agree on – has something shifted in the way you feel about this difference?

Typically, once you truly understand what makes your partner tick, the solution comes easily.  For example, once you know that your partner values reliability over all else – you’ll be able to commit to being on time regularly.  Or, if your partner knows how important it is for you to feel supported, it’ll be easier for him to take out the trash without being hounded.

By always stepping back from any perceived difference, you can usually find what you both have in common.  And once you step back onto the same team with the same goals, winning happens naturally!

By Vince Scebbi

Now that school’s out and has become a distant memory, you may be tempted to forget the important lessons you learned while sitting at your desk in math class, such as adding one to one makes two, that all right triangles equal 180 degrees, and, more importantly, how to subtly check out the girl two rows over, who vaguely reminds you of Emma Watson.

Everyone knows that students are not only absorbing what’s written on the chalk board, but also the world around them…and that includes the dating realm.

So now that those days of puberty, driver’s education, and prom are in the rear view mirror, true students of the dating game know how to take their classroom lessons and apply them to their current adult relationships.  A big part of this process involves self-reflection on your past mistakes, while at the same time realizing that making wrong moves is how you improve your game.

Let’s be honest – everyone learned lessons about “love” in health class, and I’m not talking about the physically taxing kind, but rather the lessons of your heart.  Here are some worth remembering:

1. “Don’t let the drama bring you down”: It doesn’t matter how old you are, because drama will always find a way back into your life.  Of course, there’s no easy way to cope with unwanted drama– you just need to accept that it’s there, and keep your distance from those who cause it.  Chances are that those who cause problems will end up with issues of their own.

2. “It’s the subtlety of sexiness”: One of the most important lessons you learned in school was how to interact socially. In relationships, this plays a huge factor at events, such as making the first move when approaching that Emma-Watson-look-a-like. In high school, a conversation could easily begin with a discussion about homework. Now that you’re older, don’t over think it. Find common ground with your potential love interest, and hopefully both a discussion and a future date will result.

3. “Love is a reaction”: With each relationship you make and break, you take a step closer to finding true love. Most likely starting in school, you began discovering what love meant to you, and how a solid relationship worked.  Now, you can analyze your successes and failures, what you liked versus what annoyed you, and why you were attracted to someone in the first place. Chemistry class taught you what didn’t work: some couples were like ionic bonds – one atom giving, and the other taking. Although the theory seemed simple, that scenario rarely worked effectively, as sometimes other atoms were thrown into the mix (or, other people). The lesson you took with you is that the strongest relationships are the ones that tend to share and compromise.

4. “Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again”: Shakespeare knows best! Whether you dated someone for four hours or four years, break-ups hurt – and in high school, it always seemed to hurt worse. Between the first love experience, the drama that comes in the aftermath, or perhaps the idealistic view of relationships we have when we’re young, it’s just something we get through and learn from in order to grow up.

Similar to graduation, what we learned in school were the basic love lessons we carried into the adult world. But the work is never over when it comes to learning about love and relationships. It’s an ongoing process that we’re sure to get better and better at as time goes on.

By Whitney Baker and Lori Bizzoco

The mind of a serial killer is something that is both intriguing, and at the same time, disturbing.  With motives that are primarily based on psychological gratification, these types of killers usually have a method to their madness, one that drives their actions and limits their inhibitions.  Belle Gunness, America’s most prolific female serial killer, is no exception.

Director, writer, producer, and Golden Globe nominee, Edward Bass, is producing a film that captures Belle’s story in the most deep, dark, and irresistible way.  His past films have all been accepted into major film festivals and have included talents such as Sir Anthony Hopkins, Ashley Judd and Kevin Spacey.  His extraordinary yet challenging life contributes to every project that he tackles, adding a complex and unique angle.  His directional debut of Belle is sure to reflect his personal history, sharing the story of Belle Gunness and portraying the practice of serial killing more intimately than ever before.

The story came to life for Bass when his friend, actor, and directing coach, Bjorn Johnson, introduced him to novelist Eva Mayer, whose family bought the Gunness estate.  “Eva had all this information about the family.  She had been working on the story for twenty years.  In fact, her great-great uncle was probably one of Belle’s victims,” he says.  Bass spent three years speaking with both serial killers and forensic experts in an effort to try and understand the emotional profile of this character.

The captivating story of Belle examines the life of a woman who kills over 100 men, and eventually falls in love with one of her victims.  Bass explains, “All the reasons for a deep, true love are there for her: she likes him because he’s good-looking, not very powerful, and younger than her. She can dominate him.”  Belle’s love interest soon realizes that she is a serial killer and obviously wants to leave and call the police.  Instead, Belle locks him in her basement and continues to kill older, greedy men.  “But, she can’t kill him,” Bass explains.

It is for this reason that Bass believes Belle is a relationship film.  “It’s a classic theme about a woman looking for love and never quite finding it,” he says.  “And when she finally does find love, it eludes her. As they say, you can’t live with him, and you can’t live without him,” Bass jokes, referencing a famous saying.  Bass is still in the casting stage of production but hopes to begin shooting the film in early 2012.  He has yet to determine who will play Belle, but he has a very clear idea of what type of actress it should be.  “It needs to be a strong woman, a woman who can kill men,” he explains.

Of course, one cannot help but wonder: Why did Belle do it?  And Bass is quick to answer. “She was a nasty pig.  She was greedy and killed for money.  She got away with it.  Maybe she enjoyed it, but it doesn’t matter,” he explains.  “You can have all sorts of urges, but you have to control them.”

Belle is a challenging character.  She’s a woman who kills men, women, and even her own children.  Bass describes her as a one-woman crime wave, and the most prolific serial killer in American history.  What makes Belle even more interesting is the fact that’s she’s virtually unknown.  Despite her character flaws, he says the audience will feel empathy for her because of the multiple dimensions in which the story is told.  As Bass says, “You won’t really love her, but you will find her fascinating and hate yourself for it.”

When asked if his past influences what he chooses to write and produce, Bass again focuses on the importance of relationships.  “I have interesting relationships with people, and I bring them to each film,” he says.  “I think the most important thing in a relationship — which is the easiest thing to do — is honesty.  Most men aren’t honest, but you have so much power if you are.”

Addressing his rumored dalliances with actresses in past films, he says in jest, “That’s not true.  Only Anthony Hopkins and I dated, and we were drunk.”  A little laughter and sarcasm are probably necessary given the darkness of the film.  However, to defend the question on a more serious note, he adds, “It’s not that I look to date actresses — I really don’t.  It’s just that you spend every day on set, and you become attached to the people that you work with.  I think it is proximity and opportunity.”

When asked if he learned anything about women through Belle’s story, he ironically says, “Women are so much brighter than men in every way. There would be no war if women were in charge.”

By Ashley DelBello

Need a new date outfit? As cities around the world participated in Fashion’s Night Out on Thursday, September 8, we are reminded about the importance of picking the right outfit to wear when you’re dating.  Finding something comfortable, yet sexy while allowing your personal style to show through can be a daunting task.  In Los Angeles, Cupid’s Pulse stopped by Nordstrom at The Grove for the launch of Lauren Conrad’s new clothing line, Paper Crown. Conrad was busy signing autographs for her fans, but we were able to walk through the collection with her best friend and co-founder of Paper Crown, Maura McManus, to show us a few great options for a first date.

Pictured here is the Katherine pant in eclipse blue coupled with the Camilla sweater in dark grey — a great outfit for something more casual like a wine tasting, brunch or a simple walk in the park.

If you want something a bit more dressed up and sexy, then McManus says to go with the Lola dress —  while flirty and very flattering, the material is quite stretchy allowing you to maintain comfort and is knee-length so you’re not exposing too much on that first date!

A fun option that would be great for dinner and drinks is the Piper top paired with the Sophie skirt. Still trendy, yet flowy and comfortable.

Speaking of comfortable, remember while looking fabulous is essential on a first date, what’s even more important is that you’re comfortable in whatever you wear and that it reflects your own style.

Visit Paper Crown’s look book to get inspired for what to wear on your next first date. Paper Crown is available at Nordstrom, Ron Herman, Planet Blue, and several boutiques around the United States.

By Jennifer Harrington

As Labor Day weekend wrapped up, we were all treated to a suspense-filled episode of Bachelor Pad 2!  During the episode, viewers witnessed a strategic challenge, romantic fireworks between Michelle and Graham, Erica’s over-the-top overtures towards Blake, and a final showdown between Blake/Erica and Kirk/Ella.  To make sense of this crazy installment of summer’s guiltiest pleasure, we spoke to David Good and Natalie Getz, winners of Bachelor Pad 1.

Michelle and Graham’s relationship took a big step forward this week — were you surprised they won the competition, given they have not been together for that long?  What did you think about their strategy during the game?

He Said: I think it has been growing; we have just not seen much of them because of the Jake/Vienna/Kasey BS.  Best strategy in a game I have seen yet on the Pad!

She Said: Their strategy was genius.  David and I had a similar strategy last year.  We picked answers that were easy for us to remember, versus the truth.  They are going to win, I just know it.  Keeping quiet and out of the drama is the best thing you can do in the game.  I enjoyed seeing them fall in love this week!  If they got married and had children, the kids might actually be too beautiful.

What were you thinking during Erica and Blake’s date?  Did Erica’s aggressive behavior surprise you, and did you agree with how Blake handled the situation?

He Said: It did not, because I know her.  She is hilarious, and that is Erica.  A different bird for sure, but love her and she is her own person.  I respect that.  I thought Blake did very well handling the situation.

She Said: Blake handled the situation incredibly well, but Erica is my hero!  She is so entertaining to watch and is not afraid to say or do anything on camera.  Her behavior didn’t surprise me one bit and had Blake not already started a relationship with Holly, Erica would have gotten her way.  Trust me!

Why do you think Erica and Blake gave Vienna and Kasey the roses?  Why are Vienna and Kasey still around, if everyone supposedly dislikes them so much?

He Said: They are still around because people are scared to go against them.  Erica and Blake thought if they teamed up with them, they would be safe.  Fail!

She Said: Kasey is great at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do.  I am shocked Erica and Blake did that!  They could have given the roses to Ella and Kirk and gathered the gang to all vote off Kasey and Vienna!  I think people like Vienna and Kasey, but they are just exhausted by their fights.  They are both very nice people, but being cooped up in a house definitely tested their relationship!  Rest assured, they are still in love.

Ella has been very vocal about her desire to win the money — what’s your take on her approach?  Is it winning her sympathy votes?

He Said: Of course it is winning votes.  Lots of people can relate to that.  She has not had an easy life, but in my opinion, the best diamonds form under the most pressure.  I don’t like the fact that she is saying she needs the money so bad though.  There are a lot of single moms making it with way less than what she has.  But it would be nice to see someone with a good heart win.

She Said: It’s definitely winning her sympathy votes.  It’s officially saved her twice at this point.  I, for one, would never vote her off if I was in the house.  As much of it is a game, I have a super soft spot for children and wouldn’t be able to vote her off, even if she was my biggest threat!  I want her son to have a backyard and a home so bad.

After Holly voted Blake off, do you think there is any chance of them re-kindling their romance post Pad?  And, with Blake gone now, how do you think Holly and Michael’s relationship will change?

He Said: I think they for sure could see each other after, but don’t think it will last long. Just my opinion, which in Bachelor history has been 100 percent accurate so far. I gave Ames and Jackie two weeks; they lasted 5 days I heard. So I was off a little! When Mike watches this show, I hope he realizes he is better without her.

She Said: I think we haven’t seen a lot of what’s going on in the house. I think Holly and Blake have spent a ton of time together that we aren’t seeing and I also think she has spent some quality time with Michael. It hurts to watch because they are both my friends. When Holly called off the engagement, Michael was beyond devastated. When she decided she made a mistake and wanted him back, he couldn’t do it and then she was devastated.  I’m just glad they can both still love each other as friends!  I don’t think these two will be getting back together.

Be sure to tune in next Monday night for the next chapter in Bachelor Pad history! And send us your questions for David and Natalie while you’re watching!

By Dr. Samuel Barondes, author of Making Sense of People

When we meet someone new, we immediately form a tentative picture of his or her personality.  We generate this first impression in a matter of seconds, because we need it to guide our initial give and take.

Our amazing ability to rapidly size people up works so well that we continue to rely on it as we get to know the person better.  In doing so, we keep building a more elaborate intuitive impression—an impression that we rarely bother to consciously examine.  Although we may spend hours methodically assessing a new smartphone before deciding what we think of it, our assessment of someone’s personality keeps being made by the seat of our pants.

There are times, though, when we want to consciously think over what we’ve observed.  We may, for example, want to figure out if a person we are dating has the right stuff for a permanent relationship by discussing it with our friends.  But these conversations are often uninformative because few of us have been taught a systematic way to assess personalities.  This limits our ability to come up with a thoughtful appraisal of the person we have in mind, even with the assistance of those who are eager to help us.

I have a system for going beyond a first impression by consciously assessing the personality of someone who interests you.  With this system, you and your friends can discuss the many observations you’ve made, and come up with a clearer and more useful picture.  It begins by showing you how to thoughtfully assess basic characteristics such as sociability, warmth, competence and emotional stability.  This will help you decide how much it matters to you that the person is shy or outgoing, warm or cold, reliable or unreliable, and content or easily upset.

You will then be ready to look for signs of troublesome patterns such as compulsiveness, narcissism, sociopathy and paranoia, and to consider how this might affect you.  Having clarified these matters will put you into a position to make a moral appraisal of the person’s character, using your own personal standards.  You’ll also learn how to put this all together with what you know about the person’s view of who he or she really is, a sense of identity that includes goals, ideals, and a life plan.

Making sense of someone in this systematic way will help you decide how compatible the two of you are. Although a first impression tells you if you want to get to know someone better, a thoughtful appraisal may reveal both admirable and dangerous aspects of a personality that you might have overlooked, and that may prove to be important in the long run.

Samuel Barondes is the Jeanne and Sanford Robertson Professor and Director of the Center for Neurobiology and Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. A leading psychiatrist and neuroscientist, he is a member of the Institute of Medicine and the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.  His books include Mood Genes, Better than Prozac, and the Scientific American Library title Molecules and Mental Illness. He lives in the San Francisco Bay area.

By Linda Guma

Coping with the loss of a loved one is undoubtedly very painful. It may cause us to simultaneously experience rage, sadness, despair, and disbelief. This emotional suffering is known as grief, and it’s our natural response to loss. This week in the United States, we celebrate Patriot’s Day, which is dedicated to the victims who were killed during the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.  It’s a day marked with loss for many in our country, and it’s important for us to remember those who perished on that day, especially this year, since it is the tenth anniversary of that tragic event.

But with remembrance comes emotional turmoil. Experiencing loss can definitely be tough to deal with personally, but when you’re in a relationship, you also have to be supportive if this happens to your partner. If your mate loses a loved one, you have to know how to be there for him or her. You may feel like there’s nothing you can do to help relieve your partner of their misery, but there are ways you can be supportive.  Here are three immediate ways to help them:

1. Be present:Avoidance is not going to expedite the grieving process. It’ll only feel like a second loss for your mourning partner if you pull away. It may be frightening to see your loved one suffering, but you can’t pretend it’s not happening. Grieving is necessary for healing the pain and moving forward. Acknowledge the devastation of the bereaved, and let your significant other know that you are there for them by expressing your sorrow and support. Choose your expressions carefully.  For example, use phrases like, “I’m so sorry,” or “I care.” Don’t say things like, “I know how you feel,” or “It’s not that bad,” which won’t be helpful and will only reflect a lack of understanding.

2. Be patient:There’s no such thing as a set timeline for grief. Some people may cry every day for five years, while others may do all their mourning at once. While you want to give your partner hope, don’t tell him or her that the sense of loss will be over soon. Be prepared to stand by for as long as it will take. Be patient and encourage your partner to be patient.

3. Be encouraging:While it’s necessary to go through the mourning process in order to heal emotional wounds, it’s also important not to let it take over your lives. Spend time with your partner outdoors and get some exercise. Ask them to join you for a jog in the park or for a game of tennis. It may not be a solution to the problem, but the endorphins produced by physical activity will help relieve some tension and frustration.

How can you help your partner through the mourning process? Share your ideas below.

By Brea Gunn

Not every woman is cut out for a big Kim Kardashian-style bash for her big day.  Many would prefer a quick and discrete elopement, much like Tara Reid’s wedding.  So, what’s a girl to do?  And how do you decide what’s the right choice for you?

Let’s take a look at things objectively for a minute.  If you have a large family (and, wow, Kim K. does), then you have to examine how many people you’re comfortable inviting to your celebration.  If you have dreams of being a princess, a big traditional ceremony is just the thing for you.

Kim Kardashian’s ceremony was just about as close to a fairy tale wedding as you can get…without actually being a royal.  Between the three costume changes, black and white color scheme, and nearly 400 guests, she wowed the guests with glitz and glam.

Here are four things to consider about a large, traditional ceremony:

1. The size of the guest list: A traditional ceremony and venue will allow you to invite all of your family and friends, including those that you don’t see too often.

2. The ability to change outfits multiple times: I loved all three of Kim’s dresses.  She looked fantastically glam, and because she was in a traditional setting (most likely with a dressing room), she was comfortable changing outfits.

3. Knowing your vendors: If you get married locally, there’s word-of-mouth to rely on.  I don’t know many of us out there with a direct line to Vera Wang, but you should totally get the number of that amazing caterer that your friend had at her wedding.

4. Help: I cannot stress how important it is to get good help.  It can be hard to find, unless you have family close at hand.  Plus, you need to have someone there to help lace you into your gown.

Now, if a large, lavish affair just isn’t your thing, you may want to consider elopement.  Take Tara Reid and her whirlwind romance. One minute she’s engaged, and the next second (okay, it was actually more like two hours), she’s married!  Thanks to Twitter, her family probably got the news the same way the rest of the world did.  And eloping is just the thing if you aren’t into all kinds of fussiness.  It’s quick, discrete and you can invite people…if you want.  It’s totally up to you.  With an elopement, you have far less to worry about than with a big ceremony.  Here are some things to consider:

1. Destination: You could go to the courthouse, I suppose, but it really wouldn’t be much fun.  So let’s think bigger, like Tara Reid.  Greece?  Jamaica?  Hawaii?  There are lots of beautiful destinations out there from which to choose.

2. Guests: Beyond the location you get married, you have to think about whether you want to truly elope with no attendees, or have a few close friends and family fly in for the occasion.

3. Pack: After you make your travel plans, all you have to do is pack your bags and go.  Quick, easy, and no fuss.  Just be sure to bring a camera!

Whether you choose to be a bride like Kim Kardashian and live out your fantasy princess wedding, or you just want to get away and tie the knot with no chaos like Tara Reid, that’s a choice that’s totally yours.  Whatever you choose, it’ll be a day you will never forget.

Brea Gunn is a monthly contributor to Cupid’s Pulse, and writes for a Hudson Valley weddings site for real weddings, reviews and inspiration from local wedding business resources.

By Kelly Rouba, GalTime.com

How to Navigate the Rough Seas of Online Dating

If you’re like me and haven’t found Mr. Right yet, chances are you’ve tried or may consider trying an online dating site.  Over the past few years, I’ve created profiles on a few sites and never had so much as one date come of it.  In fact, I decided to give up on online dating altogether last year after I discovered the one guy I was planning to go out with had a girlfriend.

However, I recently decided to jump back in the online dating pool after my housemate and best guy friend encouraged me to keep at it, so I gave it a try on one of the popular free sites.

To my surprise, my inbox has seen a steady stream of invitations from my male counterparts.  I’ve also actually gone out with a few of them – the first of which I thought had real potential until he revealed his true colors a month into dating.  As stunned as I was to see his alter ego emerge, I realize now that the signs were there and I should have proceeded with greater caution.

Since then, I’ve vowed to guard myself and created a list of men and equated them to various types of ‘fish’ as a reminder of who to watch out for during my quest to find love.  To all the lovely single ladies out there who are also searching for their soul mate among a vast sea of fish, I hope this list will help safeguard your heart as well.

The Blowfish–

This guy wants one thing and that’s to get in your pants!  He will come on fast and strong and may even disguise himself as Mr. Nice Guy on the first date or two before he reveals his kinky side.  In fact, one guy I dated did just that.  He went out of his way to charm me and win me over – even having his mom bake me cookies twice – before his conscience finally kicked in and he decided he had too much respect for me to use me for sex.

Moral of this story: Take it slow.   All will reveal itself in time, and the real deal will stick around because he knows you are worth waiting for.  So if you catch a blowfish, toss him back!

The Clownfish–

Everything is a joke to this guy, including dating you.  If you go out with him, expect to be embarrassed as it’s likely he will be surrounded by his drinking buddies and will succumb to their typical childish antics and rowdy, obnoxious behavior.  The good news is a clownfish is easy to spot thanks to his goofy and drunken profiles pictures, so steer clear!

The Starfish–

Every woman deserves to be treated like a princess – and by that I mean adored and respected.  A starfish will never do that because he is too into himself.  While his narcissistic personality may not always shine through online, it will on your first date.

My last date was a mild version of the starfish, and he dominated the evening with conversation about himself.  He never even asked me one question about myself and, in the process, he revealed too much about himself.  I quickly learned he is 8 years sober, broke and doesn’t really have the job title he proclaimed.  The guy later texted me to let me know he was nervous on our date and will be “calmer” on the next date.  Umm, what next date?

The Clam–

This guy may seem friendly at first, but as things start to heat up and you want to get to know him better, he will quickly “clam up.”   Dating someone secretive and tight-lipped only breeds suspicion and that’s no way to lay a foundation for an honest and open relationship.   Move on quick!

The Mussel–

Anyone got a mirror?  This guy will need it since he will be more into himself than admiring you.  It’s easy to spot Mr. Mussel, though, since all his profile pictures will feature his abs and biceps (and are often devoid of his head for some odd reason).  If you don’t let yourself get caught up drooling over his brawn (remember, you need a guy with brains too!), you’ll look for smooth sailing.

The Shark–

Beware of sharks!  These guys are ruthless and tough, and there’s not a romantic bone in their bodies.  Fortunately, sharks are also easy to detect since their profile names often have the word “death” or “dark” right in it and their image is equally as frightening.  Need I say more here?

The Snake–

The snake is a guy who is looking to create trouble in your life.  As a prime example, my housemate’s crush found me online and asked for my number so he could text me contact information for some contractors who could repair my basement wall.  After I gave him my digits, he instead hit on me via text and asked for more of my pictures.  (He never did give me the contractors’ contact information, either.)

Not wanting my housemate to find out from someone else about what had occurred, I felt obligated to tell her what happened so she wouldn’t think I was trying to steal her crush.  Sadly, she bought his bs response hook, line and sinker after she confronted him.  The good news is that you can be spared this type of agony if you keep an eye out for snakes!

The Hammerhead–

You will find yourself beating your head against the wall with this guy.  He always wants things his own way and will pout or whine until you give in – or he’ll just walk away.  And let him because there’s no reasoning with him and all relationships should involve compromise so both parties are happy.

The Goldfish–

This guy likes the finer things in life and will blow through his entire paycheck to get what he desires – from sports cars to gold chains (Notice I didn’t say your heart?).  It’s all about making him look good and there likely won’t be much left to spend on you, if he even wants to spare some change.  Instead, look for a guy who is willing to pamper you too!

The Guppy–

New at dating, this guy just wants to play the field.  He is unsure of what he wants, except for sex of course, and he is nowhere near settling down or even interested in a monogamous relationship.  Fortunately, on some dating sites, you can tell when another user is online.  So if the object of your affection is still on the prowl or barely setting aside time for you, move on!

Now that you’ve read these pearls of wisdom, hopefully you’ll know who to avoid during your search.  As a helpful hint, look for “the oyster.”  There’s a treasure inside this guy that is worth waiting for.  Happy fishing!

By Erika Mionis

Celebrity. For some, the word implies arrogance, narcissism, and superficiality. For others, it implies kindness, charisma, and power. While it’s true that both definitions have their part in celebrity culture, more and more celebrity couples are trying to change those stereotypes by turning their focus towards charity and humanitarian efforts. Here are some of the main culprits:

1. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: It’s no secret that longtime partners Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt like to give back, especially when it comes to adopting children from impoverished countries.   Jolie, a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN since 2001, has traveled to over 20 countries in attempts to raise refugee awareness. Brad Pitt, though relatively new to charity work, impressed many by starting The Make It Right Foundation after seeing the damage caused by Hurricane Katrina. The Foundation has built over 50 “green” houses, and has brought more than 200 people back to the Lower Ninth Ward, a devastated neighborhood in New Orleans.  More recently, the Jolie-Pitts made headline news when they donated $500,000 dollars to the Joplin Tornado Relief Services in Missouri. Also newsworthy are the Jolie-Pitts tax returns, which according to Britain’s The Independent, show that Jolie and Pitt donated almost 5 million dollars to various charities in 2009.

2. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s charity work has been somewhat of a recent development. Since 2007, the Smiths have made several large donations of over 1 million dollars each, usually to religious causes.  In addition to their religious donations, Smith and Pinkett Smith started the New Village Leadership Academy, a private school that offers both a challenging curriculum and generous financial aid to students. Recently, the longtime couple decided to “donate their birthdays” to the charity Water, an organization dedicated to providing clean water for developing countries in Africa.  Will Smith asked fans to send $42 to the charity in honor of his 42nd birthday, while Jada Pinkett Smith simply asked for fans to “send what they can.”

3. David and Victoria Beckham: U.K power couple David and Victoria Beckham actively participate in humanitarian work.  In late 2009, Victoria visited Clay County, Kentucky, with the charity Save The Children in order to learn more about the children in the poverty-stricken area. The former Spice Girl rewarded the children with book bags and advice. Her husband, soccer star David Beckham has been a Goodwill Ambassador since January 2005 and is also a spokesperson for Malaria No More, a New York City-based nonprofit dedicated to treating Malaria in Africa.  David is often seen on ESPN and other sports channels in short clips for MLS WORKS, the Major League Soccer’s charity project.  Recently, the couple made news when they donated many of the gifts sent to their newborn daughter, Harper Seven, to charities in Los Angeles.

Is there a celebrity couple you feel belongs on this list?  Feel free to leave a comment below, and keep your eyes peeled for more celebrity humanitarian efforts.

By Jennifer Harrington

The drama is never-ending on Bachelor Pad 2!  This week’s episode started with Jake’s dramatic farewell, a kissing competition and more emotional breakdowns from Melissa.  Two more contenders — William and Melissa — were eliminated in their quest for love and money.  After this crazy episode, we chatted with our Bachelor Pad 2 experts, David Good and Natalie Getz, to see what they thought about the action.

We learned tonight that Blake and Ella are the best kissers in the house — were you surprised they were crowned the King and Queen of Kissing in the Pad?  When you first learned of the competition tonight, who did you predict would be the winners?

He Said: I was not surprised actually.  Ella is pretty quiet and they say “it’s always the quiet ones” and she has nice lips.  I thought Michelle might win when I first heard of it, but she vowed out so it was wide open.

She Said: I thought either Blake or Kirk would win the competition, because neither of them are in a relationship and they just look like they would be good kissers!  As for the girls, I predicted Ella to win because she is bound and determined to win the money for her son.  She was on the chopping block last week, so I knew she would do anything this week to stay safe!  The guys were being all dramatic and weird about kissing Vienna and Holly, which was annoying because it’s a game!  Tenley and Elizabeth kissed all the guys on our season even though Kovacs and Kiptyn were their boyfriends.  I even kissed Kiptyn and Kovacs right in front of the girls and we all laughed so hard about it.

Do you agree or disagree with Michelle’s decision to sit out of the kissing competition?  Did you think she was putting herself in a risky position by sitting out of this week’s challenge?

He Said: I don’t disagree or agree with it.  She has a daughter that she does not want to see her doing that.  On the other hand, you know you are signing up for that kind of thing on the show. It’s not right or wrong because she is the one putting her neck on the line by not giving herself a chance to get a rose.

She Said: Not at all, she definitely did the right thing.  She knew there was no possibility of her going home, so she didn’t need this challenge.  She respectfully bowed out and didn’t make a big deal about it like some on our season.  Plus, her daughter is only 6, but extremely mature so Michelle wants to be a good role model for her.  Ella was on the chopping block the week before so her situation was very different.  She felt as though she needed to win to be safe and closer to the money.

Blake is definitely playing the field — we’ve seen him charm Melissa, Holly and Erica.   This just doesn’t seem smart, but is it possible this strategy may work out for him, or do you think it’s just a matter of time before the group turns against him and votes him off?

He Said: It is just a matter of time before they turn.   They are women and whether women want to admit it or not, very few can handle that sort of thing and roll with it without letting their emotions get involved and turning on him as a group.

She Said: This is a terrible strategy, but he shot himself in the foot when he partnered up with Melissa right off the bat.  He jumped the gun before assessing the situation and he will ultimately go home.  I predict next week since he now has all the guys pissed at him out of his lack of respect for Michael.  I like Blake, but I don’t think he necessarily needs the money as much as others in the house.

William didn’t get too much camera time and it was hard to tell what others in the house thought of him.  If you had to guess, why did he go home?  Did it ultimately hurt him that he didn’t have a romantic alliance or partner?

He Said: I think the household liked him as a person.   He is a funny guy.  He was kind of a floater, though, and that can make you an easy target for everyone to send home.  That’s exactly what happened.

She Said: With the mentality of this cast, being in a partnership certainly didn’t help his cause.  The cast loved him and it was difficult for them to see him leave, but no one was in an alliance with him.  If I were part of the powerful 6, I would have gathered everyone when Kasey and Vienna were off making out somewhere and collaborated to kick them off.

The field of competition is getting smaller and smaller every week — at this point, which pair do you think is the strongest contender for the $250,000?  And which couple do you think is most likely to walk away from the house in love?

He Said: I think the couples will be split up, so no couple is safe.  I think Vienna and Kasey (as weird as it sounds) will still be a couple and go out together on this show.  Crazy, but hey … love is crazy.

She Said: I think the strongest partnership by far is Graham and Michelle.  They are just coasting along right under the radar.  These two are also most likely to walk away with love.  They are both incredibly mature individuals who know what they want in life and I wouldn’t be surprised if they won the money and the love.

Be sure to tune in next Monday night for the next episode of Bachelor Pad 2!  While you’re watching, send us your questions for David and Natalie!