By High Yield Hottie

Ever thrown a drink in a man’s face because he said something piggish?  I have (and highly recommend it).  However, while recently out to dinner with a male friend – let’s call him Master Key – I curbed my natural reflex and listened to what he had to say.  As we cocktailed, our conversation turned to how many intimate partners were acceptable for men and women in this day and age.  Master Key crudely summed it up as follows:

“It’s a key/lock situation.  Well, a man is naturally the key.  The woman is the lock.  A key that opens many different locks is an amazing key.  But a lock that is opened by many different keys isn’t worth anything at all.”

Cue my desire to give him a martini facial and poke his eyes out with the plastic olive skewer.

Yet despite my disgust for his sexist point of view, he has a point.  While women have been tirelessly shattering glass ceilings and income bracket double standards professionally, there’s one area where the double standard seems to persist, and that’s in dating.  Even as adult women, in the eyes of many men (and women, too), we’re still held to the binary categorization of “slut” or “nice girl.”  So what’s a gal like you to do with this infuriating double standard?  Take a cue from some of our celebrity friends and choose to own it, call it out, hide it or accept it.

1. Own It: In the words of Rihanna, “I might be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it!”  You’re comfortable with your sexploits and prefer to flaunt them.

Ex. Madonna: Not only was she the “material girl,” but she was the ultimate alpha female.  She embraced her sexuality and made a whole career out of it, which has since been emulated by many.

2. Call It Out: Not quite rising to the level of an “Own It” woman, you operate in a gray area between “nice girl” and “slut.”  You prefer to fight the double standard with verbal double entendres, rather than with double Ds in people’s faces.

Ex. LeAnn Rimes: Labeled a home wrecker, she spoke out against this double standard.  While I certainly don’t approve of dating a married man, her comments are right on the mark; a cheatin’ woman is always lambasted more than a cheatin’ man.  This woman might slink around, but she never slinks away in silence.

3. Hide It: This woman seems to be your classic “nice girl” on the surface, put together and demure looking.  While she might not show her naughtiness to the world, someone has seen it.  There might even be irrefutable proof!

Ex. Natalie Portman: Knocked up.  Is there any other way to say it?  Despite her good girl image, she shocked us when she got herself prego (sans ring) with her Black Swan co-star.

4. Accept It: If you can’t beat ’em, follow along.  You’re the type of woman who adheres to the Sandra D 1950’s nice girl code: “Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers!”

Ex. Jessica Simpson (well, before Nick Lachey): She took Master Key’s lock/key theory to heart and kept her own lock key-less until marriage.

While Master Key may disagree, there’s no universal right choice when it comes to how you feel about the dating double standard and how many keys unlock your lock!

High Yield Hottie is an independent (and sometimes intimidating) woman.  Originally from a flyover city in the Midwestern United States, she now lives in a major metropolitan city and has spent the last decade pursuing both her romantic and career goals.  Her blog, Six Figure Siren, explores dating as a successful professional woman. You can friend Six Figure Siren on Facebook or follow her on Twitter: @SixFigureSiren.

By Terri Orbuch PhD, The Love Doctorâ„¢

As a researcher and psychologist who’s been studying marriage and divorce for more than 25 years, I’m interested in the motivations of men who seem to “have it all” and then throw it all away, facing public humiliation in the aftermath and subjecting their families to the same.

Here are five ways to understand why men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods and John Edwards risk it all to have an affair:

1. The illusion of invulnerability. Often, powerful men have affairs because they think they won’t get caught.  And even if they do, they believe they won’t get in trouble because they have the resources to cover it up.  These men often don’t worry about the long-term effects of their actions on others, only the short-term gains for themselves.

2. Ample opportunities for temptation. Wealth, fame and power are attractive to many women, who make themselves available to powerful men, sometimes aggressively and without scruples.  Then such men are away from home for days at a time, and the loneliness and the desire for female companionship can trigger infidelity.

3. Adrenaline dependency. Many powerful men have positions that require a lot of responsibility and authority.  They perform well under high stress and continually need and enjoy excitement or challenges to drive them forward.  An affair gives them the same type of exhilaration in their private life.

4. Enabled by yes men. Powerful men tend to be surrounded by people who protect them, idolize them, and even “enable” their vices in order to remain inside their influential orbit. Being surrounded by people who don’t challenge your decisions or give you honest feedback has an effect on your ego and your sense of propriety and limits.

5. Desire for change. Let’s not forget that powerful men are still men, and usually an affair signals an internal need for change.  Something in the man’s life or his relationship isn’t okay — and the affair creates the trigger for change.  Boredom and relationship ruts are common reasons couples cite for infidelity.

While influence, wealth and celebrity may present some additional challenges that are unique to powerful men, the fact is that not all such men succumb to infidelity.  And the explanations above are certainly not excuses for the behavior of those who do.

Terri Orbuch PhD, known as The Love Doctor, is project director of longest-running study of married couples ever conducted, funded by the NIH and ongoing since 1986. A practicing marriage and relationship therapist for more than 20 years, she is also a popular love advisor on radio, TV, and peoplemedia.com, most recently seen on NBC’s Today.  Her new book is 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Random House). Learn more at www.drterrithelovedoctor.com.

By Dr. Judy Kuriansky

After 25 years of marriage to Maria Shriver, Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that he had been hiding a love child from the public.  Arnold’s behavior is a serious insult – and the ultimate betrayal – to Maria, especially having this affair in her household and keeping it a secret for so long.

It will take a long time for Maria to rebuild trust in any relationship, and we now have a deeper understanding of her request on the web.  Uncertain transitions in life can be traumatic.  As stated in a video shared on YouTube, Maria says, “As you know, transitions are not easy.  I’d love to get your advice on how you’ve handled transitions in your own life.  It’s so stressful to not know what you’re doing next.  People ask you what are you doing and then they can’t believe that you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Maria is reaching out to others for advice on how to transition to the next phase of her life.  For many women, Maria’s outreach is reassuring.  For a public figure to express that her future is unknown is both a positive and comforting example for those experiencing similar turmoil.  Maria now has the opportunity to stand for the empowerment of women by respecting herself, having a high self-esteem, trusting her independence and not tolerating bad behavior.

Dr. Judy Kuriansky is a world renowned radio advice host, clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist, popular lecturer, newspaper columnist, author of many books, including The Complete Idiot’s Guide ® to a Healthy Relationship and saw Arnold and Maria’s love bloom firsthand at their engagement party.  To help Maria and women everywhere, she has offered three suggestions to handle transitions in life:

1. Dream big: Allow yourself time to be quiet and meditate.  Think about your ultimate dream.  Do not add qualifications or possible inhabitants.  Let your mind run free.  Imagine without any hesitations.

2. Re-focus your energy: Try out the following exercises:

– Picture your future by drawing a matrix.  Put yourself in the center and tasks you are completing now in bubbles around  you.  Look at those tasks and think of how you could turn them into a substantial activity focus.

– Host a gathering of friends.  Have each of them brainstorm something that you are good at, or what you could be doing in your next stage of life.  When you do this, be sure to write down all of the suggestions.

– Browse a college course brochure.  Look for something new that you’ve always wanted to learn, but never had the time.

3. Anxiety into action: Transitioning can translate to both stress and excitement.  Once you accept the stress and anxiety, you will gain the courage to face the unknown.

How have you have handled a new transition in life?  Share your stories with Cupid below.

By Brea Gunn

Most women dream not only about their wedding, but also about the wedding night.  That’s right.  We girls have the entire experience planned out from the minute that we wake up on that special day to the moment that we put on that slinky babydoll.  What we often don’t realize is that there are a number of things that are sure to ruin the experience.  Here are some things to avoid:

1. Excessive drinking: I shouldn’t need to explain why this would be a problem, but in case you need a refresher: do you really want to be tired, lethargic and possibly not remember your wedding night?  Didn’t think so.  Have a talk with your groom before the wedding about what you both feel is appropriate so that the celebration doesn’t get out of hand.

2. Hunger: No one feels very romantic when they’re starving.  So EAT!  That’s right.  Eat.  If you can’t breathe in your wedding dress, be sure that your ‘going away’ garb has a little extra expanding room.  If you can’t eat at your reception, ask that a fruit, cheese or combination be brought to your changing room.

3. A full stomach: Yes, the food was to die for, but now you want to die.  This is NOT GOOD.  Be careful of eating too much, especially if you have a particularly decadent spread at your disposal.  Ask mom, dad or your best friend to save you some good eats for the next day (unless you’re leaving for your honeymoon).

4. Thin walls: You may not consider this, but take it from me, you may want to make some noise, and the LAST thing that you want is the old guy in the next room banging on your wall. Do yourself a favor and visit your wedding night room, suite, or B&B well before the big day. That way you know what you’re getting.

5. Older hotels and Bed & Breakfasts: Sure, they’re cool and have lots of charm, but some also have pitfalls.  For example, one historic hotel that I looked at for my own wedding night had communal bathrooms. No thank you.  There was no way I was going to change out of my dress and into lingerie only to walk down the hallway back to my room.  Make sure that you have your own bathroom (You’ll know this ahead of time if you follow the advice about an early visit above). I promise, it’s worth the time.

6. Fighting: Don’t start anything on your wedding night.  Sure, the way that he wouldn’t stop break dancing at the reception may have you hopping mad (and yes, it would have been nice if he had asked you to dance), but try to put it behind you.  After all, you only get to do this night once.  Make sure that your memories are happy ones.  Can’t keep it in?  Try writing it down so that you can address your issues later.

7. Inviting friends to the hotel: Though it’s tempting to continue the party (you just got MARRIED!!!), you and your new spouse need some time alone.  If you invite friends back to your room, or even to your hotel, you run the risk of not being able to retire when you want to and forfeiting night of your dreams.  They’re your friends, so you’ll see them later.  Gracefully tell everyone thank you, and leave the party at the reception site so that you can get started on your honeymoon.

Brea Gunn is a freelance writer and blogger about Hudson Valley Weddings and wedding business marketing, as well as other family related topics. Born and raised in Washington State, she is a southern girl at heart. She thrives on frugality and money-saving solutions, but isn’t afraid to splurge once in awhile.

By Sally M.

Let’s face it – diets are personal.  Add in a new relationship, and it’s easy to feel insecure about bringing up a diet, even though it’s part of your daily regimen.  Personally, if I’m trying to drop a few pounds, I wouldn’t necessarily scream it from the rooftops to a guy I just met!

These anxieties should be put to rest.  Adjusting your diet is nothing to feel weird about, especially if you’re doing it properly.  That being said, you should always contact your healthcare provider or a nutritionist before altering your food intake.

Unfortunately for dieters, dating activities tend to revolve around food.  Here are a few ways to watch what you eat while on three different types of dates:

1. Dinner Date
— Have a healthy snack prior to dinner so that you won’t be tempted to order excess food which you wouldn’t normally eat.  Remember, “bad foods” are okay in moderation and it’s nice to treat yourself to a meal you didn’t cook at home every once in a while.  Be yourself and order what you want (and it doesn’t have to be a salad – unless, of course, that’s what you want).
— It’s totally acceptable if you don’t finish your meal.  Grab a doggy bag to take home.  This is a great idea for those on a portion-control diet.

2. Cocktail Date
As a rule of thumb, alcohol is usually considered a BIG NO when dieting.  However, some options are healthier than others if you decide to indulge.  Regardless, know your limit and don’t get drunk; the more drinks you have, the more you risk compromising your diet (and other inhibitions).

— Wine: Wine is the best diet-friendly alcohol, but that doesn’t mean you should order a bottle; finishing the whole thing isn’t ideal if you’re counting calories.
— Liquor: Hard liquor is the second best choice, but which ones?  According to sparkpeople.com, vermouth contains the least amount of calories, followed by coconut rum and Beefeater Gin.  Mind you, that’s a serving of 1.5 ounces.
— Beer: Order a light beer, and you won’t compromise your diet too much.

3. Movie Date
— Theater popcorn is tempting.  If you must have it, choose the small-sized popcorn (usually seven cups of popcorn, equaling 500 calories).  Even if buying the medium-sized bag is only a few cents more, don’t do it; those calories will add up quickly.  If you can get away with purchasing the kid’s-sized version, that’s even better!  Also, it should go without saying … no extra butter and no refills.
— When it comes to washing down your popcorn, stick to small-sized diet sodas or ask for water.  Bonus: You won’t miss the movie because of a bathroom break!
— If you have a big purse, bring in your own healthy snacks. This is technically against the rules, but until movie theaters can offer diet-friendly treats, it may be the only way to eat well in front of the big screen.  Just remember to share.

Remember, dieting and dating is only awkward if you make it that way.  You can still have fun and enjoy yourself without sacrificing your personal goals.  Move forward with confidence!

Sally M. is the founder of Eat Breathe Blog. If she could be best friends with any television character it would be Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex in the City.”

By Dr. Diana Kirschner

“It” couple, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom, are best friends who are madly in love and even launching their own reality TV series centered around their relationship.  They got married after a mere one-month courtship and renewed their wedding vows at their first anniversary.  How did they find committed love so quickly?  It’s hard to say exactly what happened in their situation – true love always has its mysteries.  But most probably there were certain factors at play – celebrity love secrets which you can use to create success in your own dating and love relationships.  Here are a few of those secrets from my brand new book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love.

One critical secret involves using the three-question reality check about a hottie you may be dating:

1. Is he or she crazy about you? This is a big question, since you don’t want to pine after a person who is not into you!

2. Is this person willing to grow? There are no perfect partners out there, for sure.  That said, if the person is gaga for you and willing to work on themselves, they could become an AMAZINGLY great partner!

3. Is he or she meeting the basics?  In other words, is this a good person with integrity, who is successful, wants a relationship and shares some chemistry with you?

If your partner meets these criteria, give him or her a real chance.  You could develop a crazy-in-love relationship that gets better and better… and lasts for 10, 20 or even 30 years!!

Another key secret: Look for consistently improving contact.  When you meet a new hottie, the sparks are great and you are high as a kite.  But the question is, how is the relationship changing over time?

Is there more closeness between you?  Are you sharing more of your thoughts and feelings?  Is the L word being used?  Are you sharing each other’s space, meeting each other’s friends or family members?  Are you beginning to talk about thoughts of a shared future together?

Really look at the trends in your relationship.  Is it fading out?  Is it getting boring?  Are you starting to take each other for granted?  Are you having longer or meaner fights?

Or is the trend improving over the months, or even years, just as it seems to be for Khloe and Lamar?  There are always downticks in love, even in the beginning.  But, if in the face of this, things bounce back, makeup sex happens and the intimacy is actually getting better, this is a very good sign.  This means you could be with the One.

So, while it is very rare to have a one-month courtship that leads to lasting love, like Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom seem to have, it’s still possible to have a right-for-you courtship that works to create the love you really want.  Bottom line: you can use these relationship secrets to get to your own happiest-ever-after!

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the new book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love which has been acclaimed by 14 top self-help gurus, including Dr. Christiane Northrup & John Gray.  She authored the bestselling book, “Love in 90 Days,” which was the basis of a PBS Special on love. Get weekly support from Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship and Dating Advice Newsletter.

By Dr. Kenneth Ryan

It’s a fact. I’m not throwing cold water on the big wedding. It was beautiful, and I wish Kate and William all the best.  I’m just saying you can’t judge a relationship by the beauty of the couple or the smiles at the wedding.  Kate caught the Prince’s attention with her invisible dress, and now it looks like they are living the dream.  But they have a tough road ahead.  Diana and Fergie’s marriages began the same way – just like dozens of U.S. celebrities.  As outsiders, there’s no way to know if the royal relationship is built on a solid foundation or if it’s as flimsy as her see-through wardrobe.  Kate and William are really no different than any other couple getting married, as they have great optimism and excitement about their future together.  They’ve already beat the odds by converting eight years of living together into a marriage, because a University of Denver study found that only one in ten couples who live together are still together five years later.

Celebrities have it tough when it comes to relationships.  They’re no wiser than you or me, but their every move is monitored and discussed.   In fact, they’re probably even more confused about relationships than you, because their world is so artificial.  Every person a celebrity meets is suspect because so many people are awed by them, in love with them (fantasy) or just to want to exploit them.   It’s a tangled web of mixed motives when judging any potential suitor, but celebrities have it the worst.  Therefore, it makes no sense to look upon the beautiful people with envy or to necessarily emulate their courtship strategies.   You might end up emulating a “Bad Romance.”

Top 5 Mistakes Women Make in Searching for Their Prince

Don’t give up — Some women feel helpless and hopeless because few men have shown interest in them, and there are so many pathetic adolescent men.  That said, there are many ways a woman can improve her connections with guys and make herself more appealing.  They just need to learn effective communication techniques.

Don’t chase guys – Women who come on too strong look desperate and easy.  Predatory males look for desperate women, because these women will do almost anything to get them.  The good guys out there find desperate women to be less appealing.  Learn how to engage men without coming on too strong.

Don’t be naive about men — Too many dangerous men are lurking out there.  If a woman does not understand the risks and the huge difference between men and women when it comes to sex and relationships, she will get burned eventually.  If most of her guidance for relationships comes from popular media and peers, she is working from a position of ignorance.   Movie makers couldn’t care less how your life turns out.  They just want your $13 movie ticket.

Don’t panic — Some women become so fearful that they will never find a guy who loves them that they abandon their convictions and make irrational, dangerous decisions.  Some painful effects are immediate, while some might not surface for years.

Don’t sleep with the boyfriend — Every woman must make her own decision when it comes to sex, and it’s a huge decision.   Sex is the most common and most harmful mistake women make in relationships.   It may seem romantic or exhilarating, but there are hidden fangs that can cut deep.  It causes an avalanche of problems, many that the woman doesn’t anticipate.  Does he love you or does he love having sex with you?   That’s the million dollar question that women routinely get wrong — resulting in shredded female hearts.  You can’t put a condom on your heart.

It’s not easy to navigate the shark-infested waters of the dating world, but if you can follow these basic tips, you shouldn’t have to worry about being someone else’s prey.

Dr. Kenneth Ryan is the author of Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads:  How to Find a Quality Guy Without Getting Your Heart Shredded. Dr. Ryan offers straight talk about relationships garnered from years of not only counseling engaged couples about sex, but from his own marriage and living with three teenage daughters.  He understands the yearning of most young women to be loved and cherished by a great guy.

By Lisa Becker

I used to be a little embarrassed to tell others that I used an online dating service. Much like the heroine of my novel, Click: An Online Love Story, I needed some coaxing before I could embrace the experience. But, the more I talked about it, the more I found out that friends and family had met their significant others the exact same way; in fact, according to a 2010 survey, one in five new relationships starts online.

Online dating is a useful tool for young professionals who are busy working and finding it difficult to make the right connection at the gym, bar, coffee shop or grocery aisle.  It’s also a great avenue for meeting new people in a relaxed, on-your-own-terms way.  People today are married to their cell phones and laptops, so why not use that technology to get hitched while you’re at it, right?

After my now-husband and I met online, I was recalling some of the hilarious encounters that I had during the whole online dating experience.  How could I forget the guy who started every story (no joke!) with “My buddies and I were out drinking one night.”   I decided to capture some of them in writing and, from there and based loosely on my own experiences, my novel emerged. My book is comprised solely of emails exchanged between friends, dates, and romantic prospects as the story of online dating unfolds. This format felt like a modern way to tell my story that fit the topic, and allowed readers to develop an intimate relationship with the characters along the way.

Now that I’m considered an online dating success story (eight years of marriage in Los Angeles is apparently no small feat!), I’m often asked what advice I would give to singletons out there… particularly those who are approaching an age where they thought they would be marriedMy advice,  whether you’re18, 41 or 73, is to concentrate on being a complete and fulfilled person on your own. Take the trip to Europe you’ve always dreamed of, sign up for ballroom dancing classes, Or like the heroine of my book, continue to develop life-long bonds with your best friends.

Bottom line:  pursue your own passions, because when you are happy and secure in your own life, you will be much more attractive to someone else.

Hungry for more? To purchase Click, visit Amazon. To follow updates on Click and share your stories about online dating, visit the Click Facebook fan page.

By Bethany and Scott Palmer, authors of First Comes Love, Then Comes Money

Prince Charles and Lady Di didn’t…and it cost the Prince more than 17 million pounds ($27 million today) during their divorce.   As you can imagine, as much as people were chatting about what Kate’s dress would look like, just as many were speculating about whether William and Kate would sign a prenup.

As we reflect on the royal wedding, here is a statistic to ponder: the number one cause for divorce is miscommunication about money.  In most cases, it’s better to “get it all on the table” versus waiting until it’s too late.  Many wonder whether signing a prenup is setting them up for divorce.  The answer is, no.  There are some very practical reasons to have one in place.

Here are some tips to having a positive prenup conversation with your partner:

1. Set the tone: It’s important to keep it positive.  Obviously with this type of conversation, it’s easy to become defensive.  You can open the conversation by saying, “I would never want money to come between us and ruin our relationship.  Why don’t we explore some reasons to have a prenup.  Let’s talk about the positive and negative aspects.”

2. Here are some points to talk through:
– Why would a prenup be important to you?
– What are our debts?  A prenup absolves one from the others’ debts.
– Is there a family home that needs to stay with one person in the relationship?  A prenup ensures that the family home stays within the family.
– Are there children from previous marriages we need to think about?  A prenup can help divvy assets amongst children.
– Is there a family business?  A prenup will keep the family business intact and protect other siblings and parents.

3. Once you have agreed upon a prenup take these important steps:
– Be sure to set your prenup up a number of months before the wedding – wedding planning can be stressful, be sure have this done and out of the way.
– List all of your assets and liabilities – this can be a relationship saver because there will be no financial surprises.
– Set it up to strengthen the relationship – start your relationship out right, clear financial communication is key to making sure your love stays strong.

Remember, no two relationships are the same.  You may not be privileged into royalty but the positives and negatives of prenuptuals effect us all.  Decide what is the best decision for you, and move forward together.

Bethany and Scott Palmer are financial and relationship communication experts and the authors of First Comes Love Then Comes Money: A Couple’s Guide to Financial Communication. They are also widely known as “The Money Couple.”

By Dr. Jane Greer, Marriage & Family Therapist, Author, Radio Host & Shrink Wrap Celebrity Commentator

People are still transfixed by Charlie Sheen.  Some clinical speculation about his behavior has suggested the ravages of drug addiction or an untreated bipolar episode.  While all of this may be true, to me, it looks like unbridled narcissism in full fury.

The go-to definition of narcissism is thinking only of oneself.  However, when you use the word narcissist you are really making a much bigger statement.  A narcissist is not only selfish but actually lacks the ability to think of anyone else.  Most narcissists are masters at turning things around so they’re the ones being wronged, and they make it appear that they are doing you a favor by letting you make it up to them.   They are typically self-righteous and have an exaggerated sense of entitlement that leads them to believe they deserve everything and more.  When they don’t get what they want, they get angry and their rage knows no bounds.

You could be dating a narcissist and not even realize it. In fact, at the beginning of a relationship, it can be easy to miss the signs.  If you’re not sure, take a minute and consider these questions.  Are most of the conversations you have centered around your partner?  Are you always the one being flexible, making changes to your schedule or agreeing to new plans?  If you’re out to eat, does your date help themselves to your food without asking, not seeming to think twice about it and never offering you a taste of theirs?  When you visit them, do they get up and greet you at the door or expect you to just walk in and join them in whatever they’re doing?  While each of these things might seem insignificant alone, together they are the signature behaviors of a narcissist.

The epitome of this is a specific personality type that in my book, What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship, I call an ultimate controller.  Their slogan is “it’s all about me.”   They talk about how great they are, how successful they are, how they know more than anyone and how they’re better than everyone else.  Charlie certainly brings this to life.  We see this in his public tirades on Twitter and his webcast “Sheen’s Korner,” along with his declaration of “winning.”  Ultimate controllers have little if any empathy for their significant others and they are unable to accommodate the needs of those around them.  To try to get them to is likely to lead to frustration, disappointment and unhappiness.  This is what each of Charlie’s wives realized, and why they ultimately got out of their marriages.  For ultimate controller’s, when their needs aren’t met they are quick to get mad and attempt to control others with their anger in an effort to intimidate so they get their way.  All of this comes through loud and clear with Charlie’s reported death threats, along with his talk about trolls, fastballs and tiger blood. If you pay attention to some of the indicators you will hopefully avoid getting in so deep.

Unfortunately, because Charlie is such a money-generating celebrity he’s been able to make his narcissism work for him and his out of control antics actually perpetuate his image as “the quintessential bad boy.” The irony is that despite all that Charlie has lost, the one thing he is indeed the ‘winner’ at is being the best narcissist around.

By The Hopeful Romantic

Katie Price, previously known under the pseudonym Jordan, cuts a lonely figure even when she’s not alone.

The British television personality, occasional singer and former model has been in love and then she’s been out of it … Then she’s been in love again and fallen out of it … again.  It’s kind of sad.

When Price got together with singer Peter Andre, I was quietly pleased for her.  It wasn’t because I’m the biggest Jordan fan on earth, but because I felt that she needed someone stabilising in her life.  She needed someone who genuinely cared about her.  Of course, a few years and a couple of years later, that marriage crashed and burned, and she was left single again.  She didn’t let it get her down, however, and struck up a relationship with professional fighter Alex Reid and tied the knot with him in 2010.  Not long after, that marriage dissolved as well.

There’s something that feeling so sadly familiar about that situation, isn’t there?  We’ve all got those friends or relatives who are pretty, intelligent and every other adjectives that you could throw at them that would describe ‘a good catch’; yet they go bouncing from one horrible relationship to another.  They’re so wedded to a particular ideal that they can’t even see when they have someone genuine standing right in front of them.   They can’t see the person who isn’t like all the others — someone who will remain faithful and just wants to unpick every little bit of hurt that has been ever caused to them.   The problem is, they never seem to see it until they’re left trying to make do with the next loser that they choose to let in.

And it’s just so incredibly sad.

I don’t know what the psychology behind that is, do you?  It must be really hard living out your life under the spotlight — having people like me and you watch celebrities’ every moves and commenting on how they might have done things better.  The reality is, people like Katie Price could do better.  Let’s face it: she needs to do better for not only herself, but also for the sake of her three children.

Everyone wants the fairy tale, the castle and the prince.  They want the oh-so-elusive dream.  But at some point we need to wake up and focus on what’s really important, which is quality love.  When we find it, we need to hold on tight.

Wishing you all the best of luck, Katie!

Keep Going!

#THR

By Marla Martenson, Author of  Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker

There’s a new survey out in Britain that suggests the “three-year glitch” has replaced the “seven-year itch” as the tipping point where couples start to take each other for granted.  I notice that when I’m asked how long my husband and I have been married, I get a response that is a mixture of surprise, shock and awe.  “Ten years?  Wow!”  The reaction is then followed by a knowing nod of the head and a silly grin, as if we have unwittingly found the cure for cancer or something equally as impressive.   That said, marriages do seem to be getting shorter and shorter.  50% percent of first, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

The British survey shows the top two passion killers as being weight gain/lack of exercise and money/spend thriftiness.

It doesn’t seem to make sense in the celebrity world, where couples seem to change partners as fast as Lindsay Lohan goes in and out of rehab.  After all, celebs don’t seem to gain weight; they all have personal trainers and private chefs, right?  Money woes?  Puhleeze!  But one thing that celebs tend to do is rush into marriage.  A few romantic scenes with their sexy co-stars and whamo!  The oxytocin kicks in, and the girl is gliding down the aisle all decked out in Vera Wang.

What can we learn from our beloved celebs?  Take it slow.  Really get to know the person that you are dating.  Don’t let your biological clock’s tick tock rush you into thinking that it’s now or never and that you’d better grab onto anything with a pulse.  Finding out if this person has the qualities and values that you are seeking will help ensure a lasting marriage and happy family.

By Breanna Olaveson

Spring is a magical time. The cold grayness of winter fades away into the freshness of spring, bringing clearer skies, brighter colors and warmer temperatures. And as if it could get any better, there’s one more yearly miracle headed your way – the much-anticipated tax return.

This extra income comes as a pleasant bonus this time of year.  There are a lot of ways you could spend the money, but what could be better than using it to make memories with your love?  Here are a few fun, romantic ways to spend your tax refund as a couple:

1. Splurge on better seats: Use the extra money to get better seats to whatever entertainment you both enjoy most. Go see a play, a professional sporting event, or a concert, and give yourselves royal treatment: third-row seats, some snacks and a cab to take you home. It will feel good to not worry so much about money for one night.

2. Play tourist: Pretend you’re visiting your town and go to all the local tourist attractions. Buy souvenirs at local museums, historical sites, famous landmarks and local restaurants – and don’t forget to take lots of pictures! This is a fun way to spend some extra cash while getting to know more about your city.

3. Take a road trip: With gas prices so high, this simple pleasure is becoming more of a luxury. Fill up the tank and hit the road.  Bring plenty of snacks and make sure you have your favorite music. This is especially fun if you start driving without a destination in mind – just go wherever the wind blows you!

4. Visit an amusement park: April is a great time to visit local amusement parks because they’re less crowded than during warmer months. Bring a sweater and enjoy having the place all to yourselves!

5. Take a class together: Learning new skills can be expensive, but that’s what tax returns are for! Enroll in a pottery, ballroom dance, golf, or ski class. This is a fun way to spend your day together, and you can practice your newfound skills for future dates.

Breanna Olaveson is a professional writer and editor and has been featured in various magazines, including Utah Valley BusinessQ, Utah Valley Magazine, Liahona, Ensign and MainStreet.  She has a B.S. in communications and continues to write about business, entrepreneurship, marketing, success, lifestyle and more.  Breanna is currently working with Professional Marketing International helping entrepreneurs reach their goals.

By Naini Nakagawa

Spring is in the air, and so is dating!  With the fresh spring air comes a new way to approach dating.  The goal for this season?  Focus on friendships, which may lead to romance later on when you truly know your mate-to-be.  Celebrities like Ryan Phillippe could certainly use this wisdom right now.  Phillippe’s recent relationship with Amanda Seyfried seems to be on and off, and he was also recently accused of having “innocent sleepovers” with Rihanna.  It seems to be a game of celebrity musical chairs in Hollywood these days, filled with all sorts of drama. For the rest of us, who prefer to keep drama-free peaceful relationships, the following tips could go a long way:

1. Rid your life of toxic people: Keep those who are discouraging and who don’t support and believe in you on the sidelines. Your energy field can take a turn for the worst with negative influences in your life.

2. Consider your spiritual path: Celebrities like Scarlett Johansson, who received an Ally for Equality Award at the 2011 Human Rights Campaign Los Angeles Dinner and Awards Gala, keep things in perspective by prioritizing things like helping those less fortunate than themselves. Give off positive energy by taking each interaction throughout your day and adding some cheer to it. Smile!  It could make a big difference in someone’s life.  Plus, confidence attracts. It’s one step closer to finding your future mate.

3. Exercise and eat right: Being healthy will not only make you feel good about yourself, but your healthy glow will attract potential partners.  Bring out the Jennifer Aniston inside yourself! Some foods with special vibrations to consider are cherries, which bring joy, and strawberries, which foster dignity.  Working out can help to keep you balanced so that you’re in the mindset to make the right choices.

4. Be friends for 8 months before dating: Meet as many people as possible and keep it friendly, even if the attraction is strong. Longtime Hollywood actress Goldie Hawn had a deep friendship with Kurt Russell before they were romantically involved, and they’re still together after 25 years !

5. What’s meant to be will be: Let the gods get working already.   Sometimes the universe needs some time to work its magic, so instead of micromanaging your love life, try to have faith that things will work out the way they’re supposed to work out.

6. Meditate: Meditation brings on a sense of delicious peace, which no other activity can accomplish. A-list celebrities like Richard Gere, Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie are no strangers to the practice, as they’re known to make quiet time for reflection a regular part of their busy schedules.

7. Be proactive: After you’ve taking the time to get to know someone on a spiritual level, it’s time to make a move. Plan a date that doesn’t involve drinking alcohol, so that your minds are clear and ready to connect.

By utilizing these tips, you can increase your magnetism to such a level that you’ll attract someone with the same vibrations as yourself, even if he or she isn’t currently anywhere near you. It will lead to a peaceful dating experience that few celebrity couples in Hollywood have thus far achieved.

By Christie Hartman, PhD

After 14 years of marriage, Sean Penn and Robin Wright divorced in July 2010.  Now Penn, who’s 50, has been caught canoodling with Scarlett Johansson, 26.  Yes, your calculations are correct: Sean Penn is dating a woman who is literally half his age.

Of course, the obvious questions are: Why would Sean Penn go for someone so young?  And why would Scarlett Johansson date a man so much older than herself?  That’s when all the pseudo-scientists come out of the woodwork and start spouting evolutionary theory — i.e. that older men like young and pretty women because they represent fertility, and that younger women like older, not-necessarily-good-looking men because they have the maturity and means to care for her and her young.  While there is some truth to these theories, it’s only a small part of what drives dating (and mating) behavior.  More often, such theory is used as an excuse for older men to chase women who are too young for them, and for younger women to seek sugar daddies.

That said, many people assume a May-December romance is somehow typical, and that it’s what every man wants.  Single women in Penn’s age bracket may wonder, “What chance do I have if men my age can get women in their 20s??”

Here’s why you shouldn’t fret much when you see a relationship like Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson:

1. Older men often rebound with younger women. In fact, dating a much younger woman is an ironclad sign a man is still recovering from a past relationship.  He’s looking for fun, sex and an ego boost after the difficult time he’s been through.

2. Celebrities are not like regular people. You will often observe more extreme mating behaviors in celebrities, including multiple marriages, rapid transition from one partner to another, marrying after having dating only a few months and partners with vast age differences.  These behaviors are far less common among the rest of us.  In fact, only 7.5% of U.S. marriages include a husband who is more than ten years older than his wife.

3. Most older men admire younger women, rather than prefer them. A youthful, pretty face is a pleasure to look at, but most men want a partner with whom they connect.  That special connection will rarely occur with someone half your age.  Likewise, most women prefer men much closer to their own age.

Christie Hartman, PhD is a psychologist, dating expert, and the author of Dating the Divorced Man and It’s Not Him, It’s YOU.

By Guy Winch, Ph.D., author of The Squeaky Wheel

While it’s natural to moan and complain to our spouses and expect support and understanding from them, too much complaining can change the very nature of our relationship and damage it beyond repair.  When David Arquette and Courteney Cox announced they were splitting up last October, Arquette mentioned that Cox was sick of “mothering” him.  For a celebrity couple, the two have been relatively close-lipped about the details of their separation.  However, it’s fair to assume that if Cox was doing too much mothering, Arquette was doing too much complaining.

When one member of a couple becomes an over-complainer, it creates significant stress on the relationship and the entire household.  Unproductive complaining such as venting, whining and moaning, creates an atmosphere of negativity and dissatisfaction that pervades the home.  Over-complaining of the unproductive kind can also make it difficult for other members of the household to express their own joy and happiness.

The problem is that such habits can develop slowly and go unnoticed until the problem is severe.  For example, a husband might go through a period of employment instability and feel down about himself and the world.  His wife might be supportive at first.  She might try to help out by offering regular dollops of sympathy and taking on more responsibilities.  However, by doing so she is reinforcing her husband’s complaining and enabling him to remain miserable and passive.  Over time, the husband in this scenario can become comfortable in the situation and expect his wife to continue “mothering” him.

When left unchallenged, this kind of dynamic can lead to a shift in the very nature of a couple’s relationship.  Instead of being husband and wife, they now relate to one another in a manner more reminiscent of mother and child or mother and teenager.  As a result, their relationship suffers, their marital satisfaction drops and their sex life erodes.  Whining is rarely a turn on.

Although it’s natural to go through difficult times and expect support from our spouses, couples should never let negative circumstances turn into an enduring reality.  If your spouse is over-complaining so much that you begin to think of him or her as a whiner, alert your partner to his or her behavior and how it is affecting you.  Ask your mate to learn how to use complaints sparingly and productively–for everyone’s sake.

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

The pain of dating and breaking up isn’t just reserved for the young.  Singles dating in mid-life and beyond face the same heartbreak, confusion and anxieties as those in their 20’s and 30’s.  These challenges are compounded by the insecurities that frequently come with age, especially for women: Am I still desirable? … Am I still attractive? … Will I ever find another partner?

Celebrity couples are no exception. After 24 years of marriage, Tony Danza, age 59, filed for divorce from his 52-year old wife, Tracy Robinson. Jennifer Aniston, who has been in the headlines with several unsuccessful relationships over the past decade, is now telling reporters that she’s happily single.

Recently, celebrity couple Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper, considered one of Hollywood’s top power couples, broke up after dating for two years. When asked during an interview about the nature of their relationship, Cooper mentioned that marriage was not in the picture.  Chances are that Zellweger thought she was in a different relationship – one with a more committed and long-term outcome. It appears both partners were not “on the same page.”

This is one of the most common deal-breakers for long-term relationships. Often, couples get together and make assumptions that the other person shares their goals and intentions.  The problem is that they don’t discuss these options and spell them out clearly.  If you’re not on the same page when it comes to monogamy, time spent together, decisions about raising children, as well as other values and cultural beliefs, you set yourself up for disappointment and inevitable conflict.

Some other success tips for over 40 singles entering a new relationship include:

1. Be aware of unresolved baggage: Emotional scars and wounds from your past can easily sabotage any new relationship.   Take the time to identify unresolved feelings of anger, hurt, guilt and disappointment from the past and accept these feelings as lessons learned.  It then becomes easier to move on.

2. Avoid “fairy-tale” thinking: It’s not your partner’s job to make you happy.  It’s your responsibility to love and value yourself when you enter a relationship. Dependency and neediness are not attractive qualities. It is also an illusion to assume any one person can meet all your needs or desires.

3. Start with friendship first: This level of comfort translates into a solid foundation for love to blossom and intimacy to develop.  Be friends first before you open the door to the physical and emotional closeness that is so essential to a solid partnership.

4. Be sure your expectations are realistic: Are your demands about weight, age, height, financial success and other factors limiting your ability to find the right partner?  Being flexible, objective and fair prevents us from setting ourselves up for the pain and disappointment of unrealistic expectations.

5. Communicate effectively by encouraging open, honest dialogue: In addition to your words, be attuned to your partner’s nonverbal cues and body language. Also, be aware of your own cues that can trigger messages and unconscious signals to your partner.

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is the co-author of the new book, 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! Visit www.womendatingafter40.com to receive a complimentary Tip Sheet, along with a Tip of the Week which spans every facet of dating success – from preparing for your first date to determining whether your partner is a “keeper.”

By Natalie from Baggage Reclaim

One of the trickiest aspects of modern dating and relationships is the etiquette minefield that is keeping in touch with your ex.

There are two important things to consider:

Are you over them?: Have you worked through the loss of the relationship, grieved your feelings good, bad, and indifferent, accepted that it’s over and reached a point of not being emotionally invested?

What is your purpose for staying in contact?: If it’s friendship pure and simple, working together or sharing kids necessitates contact, these reasons are understandable.  Anything else is a hidden agenda.

Unless you were ‘over’ him by the time you broke up, you need space before contact.

Many people believe that the mark of a good person is one that can remain friends with an ex…even one that didn’t treat them well in the relationship.  As a result, often the ‘dumper’ pushes for contact because gaining agreement makes them feel less guilty.  The ‘dumpee’ might push  for contact so that they can be validated and try to potentially ‘win’ their partner back.

Those who break up pretty amicably and understand and accept why the relationship ended are often OK with letting a friendship evolve naturally.  Those who want to ease their conscience or keep a foothold in case they change their mind or who are seeking validation and don’t want to let go will not have the patience for space.  They’re afraid of their partner moving on without them.

If your motives are not purely friendship or for professional/civil reasons, evaluate what you’re doing because your agenda will create expectations that your ex cannot or shouldn’t meet.  You’re likely to seek emotional and affectionate displays that are not appropriate for a friendship, and you may inadvertently try to control their agenda so that you don’t have to let go.  If you’re keeping in contact in case you change your mind, you could be wreaking havoc in their lives.  If you still look for things such as sex and attention from them, you are using them.

Remember if you have any other agenda beyond being friends or professional/civil, it means you’re not their friend so you shouldn’t be keeping in touch.

By Chandler Jones

You’ve just met the perfect woman: she’s beautiful, sexy, and best of all deeply in love with you!  There’s just one problem: you are not her first love.  Can she love you more than she loved her first flame?  Was he better than you in bed?  Does she think of him while making love with you?

A common belief is that one’s first love is also the most powerful.  In fact, a lot of people say that you never forget your first love.  What does this mean?

I’ve talked with various women about the subject, all of them married to men who are not their first loves.  To my surprise, they all essentially told me the same thing.  They said that the first love is mostly passion and the second love is much deeper.

When a woman is in love for the first time, she thinks he’s the only one for her and that she has no choice in the matter.  Without him, she ‘s lost.  When she loves for the second time, however, she knows that there are a lot of other men available to her, but she’s choosing to be with the one she loves because she feels that he is the best one for her.  The first time, a woman can love a guy simply because he was the first, and for no real reason other than that.  It can be full of fear and insecurity — something that’s fuel for passion, but nothing much more than that. The second time around, it’s because she’s able to see his fine qualities and love him for who he is.  She’s loves with all her heart because she knows her man deserves it.

Celebrities are no exception to this new rule.  Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens met on the set of the Disney Channel movie High School Musical and continued to date for almost four years.  Having met as teenagers, they were each other’s first true love.  Now, having split, both are moving on.  Both Efron and Hudgens have been spotted with new potential mates, and although they will most likely never forget each other, it may be time for more than passion.

This is all fairly good news if you’re the second in line, but we haven’t gotten to the biggest questions yet.  Does she think of him when she’s in bed with you?  Does she truly love you?  Consider this.  If she truly loves you, then she enjoys every moment the two of you are together, which includes every touch, every caress and every kiss.

Over time , your first love becomes just another story tucked away in the corner of your mind.  So, if you’re the one she’s chosen, fear not!  Just concentrate on being the love of her life, and forget about her first love, as she’s probably already done.

Visit www.DatinginForSingles.com now for the full scoop from Chandler Jones on expert dating and seduction techniques. Make sure to download your FREE library of seven eye-opening ebooks on how to flirt, kiss on the first date and be a better lover.

By Erin O’Riordan

Why do some celebrity couples end up as a train wreck, while others seem to withstand the test of time? Different strategies work for different power couples. For some, private time is the glue that cements them. For others, it’s a conscious decision to put marriage and family before work or making time for grand romantic gestures.

Check out what works for these four celebrity pairs:

Beyonce and Jay-Z: They are one of the world’s great couples. Jay-Z has an undeniable charm, a laugh to die for and a fantastic smile. The key to their happiness may lie in their equal success – both reportedly make around $80 million yearly. Celebrity couples have survived even without equal success, though, so what works for Jay-Z and Beyonce might be their commitment privacy. The couple is notoriously private about their relationship, keeping the magic between them and not opening up their bedroom to the world.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw: Married since 1996 and some of the hottest entertainers on the country music scene, these two owe their success to spending time together. Even with their busy touring schedules and McGraw’s burgeoning movie career, they try never to spend more than three nights away from each other’s sides.

Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith: He’s the only actor ever to have scored eight consecutive films that grossed over $100 million domestically. Okay, so Will Smith is the biggest movie star ever. Jada’s also had some megahits, notably the Matrix series, and she’s taken turns as a writer and director. Still, Jada insists she would let her career go before allowing it to interfere with her relationship with Will. Maybe that’s why they’ve been together since 1997. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that this super-cute couple only seems to get better looking with age.

Heidi Klum and Seal: The former Victoria’s Secret model who stays involved with America’s Next Top Model, is known for her fabulous figure and gorgeous face. He’s known for his legendary singing voice and the uber-romantic ballad “Kiss From a Rose.” The pair met in 2003 and married in 2005. The fact that he’s English and she’s German never seems to be an issue for this playful pair, often caught in public frolicking with their four children. The romantic duo renews their wedding vows ever year on their anniversary.

Erin O’Riordan writes hot and steamy romantic fiction. Her short story “Post Op” appears in the Evernight Publishing anthology Indecent Encounters. She also reviews books of every description at http://www.erinoriordan.blogspot.com.

By Kenneth Weene, PhD.

We got engaged on April Fool’s day.  That was a propitious start.  At least she couldn’t claim that I didn’t have a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Prior to that, I’d only agreed to getting engaged-to-get-engaged one evening at the restaurant called Big Chicken Fry (honest).

Before you get the wrong idea, I loved her, I was committed to her.  In my head we were going to grow old together.  My concern was the word — marriage.

I’ve always been about words; not just what they mean, but what they imply.  Throughout my career as a therapist, my concern about the word “marriage” has been borne out.  The word creates expectations.  It changes and codifies roles.  It imposes mental burdens where before there were none.

To come to terms with these burdens, some couples live together before marriage.  They think it will give them a good sense of what their lives will be like after they tie the knot.  If they’re satisfied, they then marry.  Then, things immediately go downhill.  Celebrity couples are no exception.  David Arquette and Courtney Cox is one couple that comes to mind; Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz is another.

“What happened?” they ask me, their new marriage counselor.  It just took that one word.  Suddenly the humor and spontaneity was gone.  In its place were those burdens and those darn expectations.  It started in the little things: “Why isn’t my laundry done?” “Didn’t you take the garbage out?” It then escalated: “Why do you need so much cash in your pocket?” “Whose parents are we visiting for Christmas?” And then it reached fever pitch: “Shouldn’t we start thinking about kids?”

Sadly, having children often creates the expectation of marriage, an expectation that is often a mistake.  Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz obviously shouldn’t have married, as they’re now getting a divorce.  To their credit, Naomi Watts and Liev Schrieber have children and haven’t changed their marital status.  They seem happy to this day.

And then there’s the expectation that marriage is forever.  Forever is such a long time! (My approach was to consider it a three-year contract with option to renew.)  That expectation leads to one of the easiest mistakes to make, which is investing in one member of the couple.  Don’t put your spouse through school.  There, I’ve said it.  That’s a prescription for the spouse’s mid-life crisis.  Marriage is too fraught with obligation as it is.  Don’t add more.

“Marriage” is a word loaded with meaning and danger.  Maybe that’s why some couples never marry.  Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham lived together for many years without calling it marriage.  Yet, it can be wonderful.  My engagement was 43 years ago, and my wife and I are still together and in love to this day.  The key is to rethink it by giving the word meaning with which you can live comfortably.  For me, it’s all about humor, symmetry, and equality — not responsibility, obligation and expectation.

A New Englander by upbringing and inclination, Kenneth Weene is a teacher, psychologist, and pastoral counselor by education. He is a writer by passion. A poet and fiction writer, Ken’s novels, Widow’s Walk (2009), and Memoirs From the Asylum (2010), are both published by All Things That Matter Press.

By Kelly Seal

When someone leaves us broken-hearted, our natural reaction is to find love again as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, healing a broken heart takes time and patience.  It’s necessary to spend some time alone so you can build your own strength and move on to a happier, healthier relationship in the future.

Like us, many celebrities move from one relationship to the next, hoping that this will ease their pain and help make the transition easier.  Eva Longoria started dating Penelope Cruz’s brother Eduardo shortly after her split with Tony Parker.  Jake Gyllenhaal quickly started dating after breaking up with Reese Witherspoon, leaving a trail of girlfriends behind including Taylor Swift, Carey Mulligan and Jennifer Aniston.  While romance creates a sense of happiness and excitement for a brief time, eventually old pain can start to resurface.

If you’ve recently endured a break-up, try giving yourself some time off and do the following before rushing back in to the dating pool:

Allow yourself to grieve: A break-up is a huge transition.  When you’ve been with someone you love, it’s natural to feel pain and anger.  Allowing yourself to grieve over the relationship is part of letting go.

Hang with uplifting friends: We all have friends who can lift our spirits, be supportive and are just fun to be around.  If you spend time around people with positive energy, it has an affect on your mood and can help lift your depression.  Avoid friends who would rather complain about exes; this won’t help you move on.

Do things that make you happy: Maybe you haven’t been surfing in a few years, but have always enjoyed it.  Or perhaps you put off taking those cooking classes because you didn’t have time.  Now is the perfect opportunity to do things you enjoy, and remember why you liked them in the first place.

Get to know yourself again: Sometimes, we feel so lost after a break-up we don’t even know who we are without our exes.  If you feel adrift, try doing something new, whether it’s going to a new restaurant or paragliding on a Saturday afternoon.  Trying new things lifts our spirits and puts us back in touch with the part of ourselves that is willing to take risks and grow.

When you’ve gone through these steps and feel like it’s time to start meeting people again, go for it.  Just be sure to take your time and keep living your own life. Look at dating as a chance to meet many different kinds of people, rather than a way to get back into a relationship.  The right man or woman will come into your life when you’re ready to move on.

By Yolanda Shoshana, Luscious Lifestyle Diva

Biker boy and ex-husband to America’s sweetheart, Jesse James recently declared that 2010 was the best year of his life.  That declaration definitely made some people raise an eyebrow or two.  Since when does a messy divorce and the possibility of losing your child constitute the time of one’s life?  But according to James, it all led to him finding love with Kat Von D.  When he announced his engagement to Von D, people said they are perfect for each other, which was not necessarily a compliment in their case.  That said, there’s no doubt that the law of attraction was working its magic when the two of them met.

Simply speaking, the law of attraction is when “like” attracts “like.”  Take a look at Jesse James and Sandra Bullock’s different places in life.  Clearly, they had perspectives and ideals that simply didn’t match, whereas James and Von D are on the same page.

Another example of the law of attraction at work is between celebrity couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  They ended up together not just because of physical attraction, but also due to other attraction elements.  Chances are there were issues in the Pitt and Aniston marriage, which allowed Jolie to swoop in.  Now, people see Aniston as a woman who can’t find love, while I see as her as a woman who likes freedom, loves her body, likes a good looking dude, and just wasn’t about to have a tribe of children. Aniston’s attraction to Pitt didn’t last because they simply have different energies and wants in life.  In other words, they broke the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is a key ingredient when it comes to finding the love of your life.  To utilize it in your search for love, all you have to do is ask, believe and receive with full clarity.  As simple as that sounds, people get impatient when it comes to the “believe” part.  While it would be fabulous if the love of your life arrived five minutes after you incorporated the law of attraction, it doesn’t happen that way.  Sometimes it takes time for the opportunity to present itself, but know that it’s well worth the wait.

By Emily Macintosh of My Life On Match

If you’ve read my blog, you know that I popped my sexting cherry this year.  I found sexting to be flirty, scandalous and fun, but I also found it to be a bit dangerous.  If I took a picture of myself and sent it, would he show it to his friends?  Could it end up on the Internet?  What if I go missing on a hike and that’s the last picture they have of me to show on the 6 o’ clock news?  In this new age of technology, is sexting just another step in the dating world or is it the new way to cheat (and think you’re not going to get caught)?

Several celebrities have jumped on the sexting and technology train this year, too.   Couples like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore and Lamar Odom and Khole Kardashian have been publicly showing their love for each other over Twitter.  But, sexting is different.  It’s meant for the two people who are involved and not the rest of the world.   Unfortunately, because cell phone records are not as private as we sometimes would like to believe, some celebrities have gotten into some serious scandals in less than 30 seconds, 10 words and the press of the “send” button.

In the last few months, several of those couples have broken up due to sexting scandals.  X Factor judge Cheryl Cole separated from her husband, footballer Ashley Cole, after rumors surfaced about his sexting with a topless model.  Tony Parker and Eva Longoria also split after Parker was caught having a “sexting affair” with one of his basketball teammate’s wives.   Brett Favre also found himself in the middle of a media storm when he sent revealing photos of himself to a Sports Illustrated columnist!

And, no, this isn’t just an athlete thing.  Let’s not forget Michelle “Bombshell” McGee ,who shared her sexts with InTouch Magazine as proof of her affair with Jesse James.

Sexting can be fun and may spice up a relationship when it gets bland, but remember, technology is our “big brother.”  In one click (fwd, RT, send), your sexts could be in the wrong hands.