Cupid's Pulse Article: Marc Allen Gives Simple Love Advice in ‘Tantra for the West: A Direct Path to Living the Life of Your Dreams’Cupid's Pulse Article: Marc Allen Gives Simple Love Advice in ‘Tantra for the West: A Direct Path to Living the Life of Your Dreams’

By Emma L. Wells

Marc Allen spent 30 years studying and practicing Tantra. Now, he has complied everything he has learned into his new book, Tantra for the West: A Direct Path to Living the Life of Your Dreams. The relationship author explains that Tantra is a set of practical tools people can use on their path to happiness. His book is interspersed with expert relationship advice and anecdotes from his own journey to provide readers with a better understanding of Tantra and how it can help in so many different aspects of life. Not only is it a self-help relationship book, but it also provides solutions to problems about work, money, aging, and so much more.

Marc Allen Provides Easy Love Advice in New Book

You say that Tantra is not the “yoga of sex,” like many people believe. Can you share a true definition of Tantra for our readers?

If you Google “Tantra” or study Tantric Buddhism or Tantric Hinduism, like I did, it’s a much broader definition that you could call the “Yoga of Every Moment” or the “Practice of Every Moment and Everything.” It includes sex, but it includes every other moment of your life too. Don’t get hung up on the word “Tantra.” If it doesn’t resonate with you, then pick another word. You can call it the “Magical Path” or “Creative Visualization.” You can call it anything you want! The words don’t matter, but when you look at every moment of your life as opportunity for growth and practice, everything changes. That is a direct path to real fulfillment and peace.

You touch on so many different aspects of life in your book: relationships and love, work, money, aging, politics, and more. Which subjects do you think are most important for people today?

I think it totally varies with the person and where they are in life. Certainly, romance is incredibly valuable. It’s valuable to learn how to have relationships and love, and when you look at it through the lens of Tantra, you could say, “I’m on my own unique path through life, and I’m on a path that involves every moment of my life and therefore every relationship I have.” Relationships are a key to fulfillment for peace, and if you work out your relationship, you work out the rest of your life.

Can you give specific love advice for our readers who are single and wanting to improve their love life through these teachings?

My best love advice is to learn how to work in partnership with everyone. Every relationship and love should be a win-win. So in intimate relationships, don’t look for a lover. Instead, look for a partner; look for someone you can really support in realizing their dreams. That’s what our intimate relationships are for. We’re supporting each other in realizing our dreams, whatever they may be. The game in relationships is to embrace everyone you meet but especially your intimate partners, saying “I want to support you in doing what you love — how can I do that?”

You’ll find when you do that, you get that back from them. If you’re in a relationship where your significant other is not understanding what effective partnership is all about or if you’re in a relationship with a person who’s trying to control you or, God forbid, abuse you in any way, those are the relationships to leave. If your partner doesn’t get that, then I would say you deserve someone better!

Relationship Author Teaches Readers Through His Own Experiences

You seem to draw a lot on your own experience when you are writing. Is it hard for you to put your own journey into the story, or does it just come naturally?

I sometimes think maybe I talk too much about my personal life, but people really seem to like it. My story is the path I know best. You observe other people, but by seeing them from the outside, you never really see the inner work that they’re doing. On the other hand, you know your own inner work — and it’s the inner work that’s important.

Once I did the inner work — by creating the life that I wanted and the company that I wanted and by becoming a writer, a composer, and a publisher — the outer work was simple and obvious. I often think at least 99 percent of the important work that I did was all internal.

If you had to sum up your book and what your trying to do with your work in just a few sentences, what would you say?

This book is filled with simple tools that lazy people, like me, can use. They don’t require discipline or getting up early. They don’t require anything daily. I’ve found that any practice that people have to do everyday never worked for me. I gave up New Years’ resolutions years ago — they never worked for me.

I spent four years at various Buddhist centers. At the Zen Center, we got up at 5:30 a.m., and at the Tibetan Center, we got up at 6:30 a.m. I left because they weren’t working for me; I’m not a morning person. I need a lifestyle that recognizes who I am. The path to Tantra is all about looking at every moment and saying, “Every moment is my path.” You could say, “Every moment is my spiritual path,” or you could say, “Every moment is my analysis.” The world is offering me all this wonderful free analysis if I just open myself up to it and see what is. You could call that the path to Tantra.

You can keep up with Marc on his website, Don’t forget to pick up your copy of Tantra for the West: A Direct Path to Living the Life of Your Dreams!