Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to strap on your tallest heels and reserve a window seat at a chic lounge for some champagne and brie. Or, for the more traditional lady, there’s no greater treat than spending an evening enjoying red wine and dark chocolate with your love, be it your soul mate or your best friend. The only wrong way to spend this special day is with a jerk. Sometimes hard to spot, these heartbreakers have a pension for making their dates feel awful and are experts in keeping a relationship miserable. Fortunately, enough women have been there before you and there are now many easy to spot red flags. Keeping a lookout for these top ten signs you’re with a jerk is the first step to ensuring you won’t have a Valentine’s Day to regret:
1. He talks down to you: If he talks to you as if you’re a child, or incapable of making smart decisions, you deserve better. The same goes if he acts like you’re unable to live a productive life without him, speaks poorly of you in front of his friends, or treats you like a servant. There’s nothing funny about a man talking to his girlfriend as though she’s less than he is.
2. He doesn’t support you: So you want to be a famous ballerina who sells diamond encrusted dog collars on the side? Fine, your best friends support you and so should your man. If your beau acts like your dreams are unattainable or stupid, or if he refuses to encourage you at all, forget him. Everyone needs a support system and if he can’t believe in your dreams, he certainly shouldn’t reap the benefits of your eventual success.
3. He tries to make you jealous: If he talks too fondly about his ex, still excitedly mentions his single hook-ups or reminds you of the tanned, muscular legs on your best friend, he’s trying to make you jealous. He’s probably insecure, and the worse you feel the more confident he becomes, meaning this behavior is never going to end. Move on and make a brighter future for yourself while he’s stuck daydreaming about the past.
4. He makes you feel second best: We all deserve to spend a guilt-free night out with our friends and sometimes work and other real world obligations demand our immediate attention. That said, if your man is constantly canceling dates to grab a beer with the guys or to score some overtime at the office, then the last thing on his priority list is you and that’s not OK.
5. He forgets your anniversary: It’s not difficult to remember the dates that are important to us. Think of it this way — has your man ever forgotten his own birthday? If he can’t find the time to recall your wedding anniversary or the night the two of you became official, then it’s not important enough to him.
6. He doesn’t make you feel beautiful: Whether it’s waking up on the wrong side of the bed or forgetting to tweeze the brows, no one can constantly look perfect. But, if your date is always bringing up your curves, wrinkles and bad hair days without once mentioning your great attributes, it’s time to find someone new.
7. He never pays: Most partners know that their sweethearts can’t afford extravagant dinners or weekend getaways more than a few times a year. However, if your honey refuses to ever foot the bill, then there’s a good chance he isn’t taking your feelings seriously. It doesn’t cost a lot to treat you to a movie or to share a few appetizers at your favorite restaurant and he should love seeing the look of appreciation on your face when he does.
8. He doesn’t fight well: One of the greatest tests of a relationship is seeing how your partner reacts during an argument. If he is quick to raise his voice, insult you or, even worse, hit you, then he’s a certifiable jerk. If he loses his cool completely during an argument, then he is losing sight of the relationship all together.
9. He won’t forgive you: We all make mistakes, but being bold enough to acknowledge your wrong doings and apologize is an attribute your date should appreciate. However, if your man refuses to accept your apologies, or if he constantly holds your past missteps over your head, then he’s too immature and petty for a woman of your caliber.
10. He cheats on you: If your man is willing to disrespect you and disregard your feelings enough to become intimate with another woman, whether physically or emotionally, you need to drop him today. Every woman should require a partner that loves, respects and cherishes them.
How did you know you were dating a jerk? Share your experiences below.