By Ronnie Ann Ryan MBA, CCC  — The Dating Coach

Less than a week after  fiancée Crystal Harris called off her nuptials to Hugh Hefner, the scorned husband-to-be rebounded by publicly showcasing his new girlfriend— Shera Bechard, the November 2011 Playboy Playmate.  To me, that’s the definition of a true playboy, and it suits Hef perfectly. After all, he is the original founder of the Playboy brand.

When questioned by fans and hecklers about moving on so quickly, Hugh claimed that Shera is the remedy for his broken heart.  As a professional dating coach, one thing I know for sure is that the heart takes time to heal.  If Hefner was truly crushed by Harris leaving him, then he’s certainly in no position to have already moved on.  Whether you’re a man or a woman, a new love interest is not the antidote for heartbreak.  Finding someone else so quickly is not a healing strategy; it’s simply a rebound. In my opinion, the chances of things going well for Shera and Hugh are quite slim at best.

If you want to heal and find lasting love, you’ll have to recover from the pain of breaking up with your past partner first.   Otherwise, you could be leading yourself and the new flame down another hurtful path.   Here are some tips to help you move through the healing process in a healthy way:

1. Give yourself time to recover: Spend time alone, with friends and family.  Be with people who love you so that you can regain your inner strength.

2. Take good care of yourself: Get a massage, energy balance, makeover, new hairstyle, or start working with an exercise trainer.  Take healthy steps to improve your self-confidence.

3. Shift negative thinking to positive self-talk: If you spend a lot of time blaming and berating yourself, stop.  Learn how to speak nicely to yourself with positive inner dialoguing.  It’s a lot like being your own dating coach!  Tell yourself that love is out there, and it’s only a matter of time before you find it.

4. Relax and enrich your life: There’s no hurry.  Rushing will only lead to mistakes again.  Instead, take your time, and build a rich and interesting life for yourself.  When you’re enjoying yourself you inevitably become more attractive.

Ronnie Ann Ryan — The Dating Coach has helped thousands of people transform their love lives from disaster to finding healthy, loving relationships. You can find her on her website, www.NeverTooLate.biz.