By Carley Forrester

Have you ever found yourself on a date, wishing that people came with an instruction manual that contained all the information you ever needed to know about them? You don’t need an instruction manual to tell if your date is ‘the one’ — all you need to do is learn how to get them to tell you exactly what they are looking for, without them even knowing.

This can be especially difficult when it comes to finding love on an online dating site. Members will often wrongly advertise themselves, leaving it very difficult to work out whether or not they are the one for you. So how can you work out if your date is ‘the one’ on the first date?

Related: Five Conversation to Avoid on the First Date

Decide what you are looking for

What is it that you are really looking for? Working this out is the first step to working out whether or not your date is the one for you. Do you want marriage? Are you looking to start a family? Or are you just looking for a little fun? Decide on your own romantic goals and don’t apologize for them! Look at Jennifer Aniston: it’s always been more than obvious that she’s an advocate of marriage.

Related: Five Top Tips on How to Find ‘The One’

Question time

Inexperienced daters will steer clear of asking loaded questions on a first date as they think it’ll put their date off. In reality, the first date is perhaps the only time you can get away with it! Ask your date what they believe in when it comes to love/relationships/life. If you want to dress the question up a little more ask them if they believe in ‘the dream’ — if they ask what that is, then give them your answer, without telling them it’s yours. Now all you need to do is smile and listen.

By asking your date what they ‘believe’ in rather than demanding to know what they are ‘looking for’ you will receive a truthful answer, rather than the answer they think you are looking for. According to experts, this method encourages men to openly discuss their opinions of marriage, divulge information about past relationships and even their own finances.

Don’t ask about ‘the ex’

But listen very carefully if they do give you a little insight to their previous relationships. If your date makes a statement about their past relationships ‘all ending the same way’ be aware of why they ended. Relationship patterns are usually repeated and negative statements about past relationships could be a sneak preview of what he’ll be saying about you after you break up.

Ahem… John Mayer, we’re talking about you!

Rather than interrogating your date (which is easy done) your subtle method of questioning will leave them feeling relaxed. At this point, don’t reveal too much about your own relationship mishaps; this isn’t a therapy session, it’s a date.

Use this simple dating method as your relationship sieve, sifting through the bad, to get to the good.