By Steven Zangrillo

Listen, it’s not easy for men.  We understand that it’s a two-way street, this dating thing.  Tried and true, we young professionals hit the bars, clubs, gyms, restaurants and other various hot spots perceived to be breeding ground for potential girlfriends and spouses.  Some of us have even taken the plunge into the e-dating world.  We come up empty handed more often than you would think.  Maybe that isn’t surprising to you, but it’s routine to us.  All too often, the cute girl on the stairmaster ends up being nothing more than just that — a cute girl.  You see, we have a natural tendency to judge (harshly), and often build up our own barriers against accepting a woman into our lives past the first few dates.  That said, we do have a few important criteria.  Below are five things men look for in a wife:

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1. Focus

That is, stop looking at your phone when I talk to you.  This thing we look for can be displayed with variance in several different ways.  When we’re describing anything to you, be it an event of the day, idea we have, or anything else, it’s because we care about your opinion on the matter.  Your focused feedback on all things is important to us.  We’re looking for a life partner, someone to be our go-to when we need it most.  Stay focused.

2. Truthfulness

We expect honesty in dialogue.  Even the smallest details matter.  If you don’t like that dish we ordered for dinner, say so.  If you aren’t a fan of the way we floss and sing Blink-182 simultaneously, pipe up.  Nip things that bother you by telling the truth about how you feel.  The more you sweep things under the rug, the bigger mess you will find yourself cleaning up later.  No conversation is worth saving over a white lie.

3. Steadiness

That “Keep Calm And Carry On” catch phrase is a beauty… because it’s rooted in reality.  If we’re surveying you as a potential wife, it means we’re taking you seriously.  We’re all about you, we love you, and we’re going to spend a lot of time, money and energy making you the happiest person to have ever walked this earth.  We are preparing to give ourselves to you.  Just as we have to present ourselves as stable, able life mates, you must do the same.  If you’ve still yet to sow some of your wild oats, then this relationship isn’t for you.  Be here, now, and present.  Have your job, family and money in order.  Don’t let this commitment go into the deep end if you’re still wearing swimmies.

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4. Positivity

Pretty simple, right?  No one likes a Debbie Downer, especially one that they’ll be sharing their life and assets with.  You will be sharing a bed, bathroom, kitchen, home, family and life together.  It would seem that the best way to approach that would be with positivity.  Although it’s still important to tell the truth about things that bother you, it’s also important to be… you know… enjoyable.  Think of all of your negative friends and family.  When you’re planning a night out, you probably hesitate to call them.  If you can’t call those people, why would you marry one?

5. Love (NOTHING else)

It always comes back to love, doesn’t it?  We look for women to share love with us.  Love is the stuff of marriage.  If you’re in need of financial help, the government has programs for that.  It’s important to be at similar stations in life so you have a reciprocal and positive marriage experience.  We want to marry because we’re in love, not because it’s a sound financial decision.

What are some other things men look for in a wife? Share your thoughts below.