Dr. Ian Smith is known for helping people succeed in weight loss with his books, ‘The Fat Smash Diet’ and ‘The 4 Day Detox.” But, now the author is determined to help you succeed in your relationship too. From the importance of looking good on the first date to waiting until the right time to label yourself as a girlfriend, The Truth About Men: The Secret Side of the Opposite Sex is a tell-it-like-it-is guide to understanding the male gender. We had the chance to talk to Smith about the inspiration for his book as well as his secrets to a successful marriage.
America knows you for your expertise in health. Why did you choose to write a book about relationships and how men think?
The inspiration behind this book came from the women I have helped over the years who would randomly ask me about men. When you help people with their weight loss journey, you often find yourself giving advice on things other than nutrition and exercise. I would get a lot of questions from women about the men in their lives and what their behavior meant. They were confused by what their partners were saying or not saying and why they were doing what they were doing. A couple of the women said that the answers I gave them were not only correct but would be greatly appreciated by others. They recommended that I write a book to make the information accessible and direct, even if some of it might be tough to read.
I decided to do that and thus named it ‘The Truth About Men.’ It’s not about whether men are right or wrong. It simply tells women what men want them to know – even if they won’t share these things themselves.
Do men prefer au natural women or women who have had work done?
The answer is plain and simple. Men much prefer a natural body with flaws vs. one that has been surgically-enhanced.Women are making a questionable decision when they go under the knife thinking that they’ll be more physically-appealing to men. Men realize that our bodies change as we age. That’s a fact of life, but there’s a way to look your best without having surgery. So natural is always better.
Also, men should not demand of women more than we demand of ourselves. It’s totally hypocrisy for a man to want the perfect physical specimen when his gut is hanging over his belt.
You wrote that a woman will lose her man if she loses her body. How can a woman or man avoid the “boyfriend 15″?
I didn’t mean that literally, of course. Men love women for more than just their body. I exaggerated to emphasize the point that maintaining your body is not just important to you but to your partner as well. Men, regardless of their age, are visual and physical creatures. I also believe that men should be held accountable to maintain their bodies; it works both ways.
As for avoiding the “boyfriend 15″? Check out the ‘Fat Smash Diet‘ - it’s all in there.
What is the number one myth that women believe about men?
The number one myth that women believe about men is that men don’t want to commit. It’s not that men are afraid of commitment; they are afraid of committing to the wrong person.
There’s a way to talk to men about settling down without causing fear to develop. I reveal many studies and surveys in the book that dispel a lot of myths about men. In one survey, men were asked about their opinion of the greatest male status symbol, and the number one answer was not a fancy car or beautiful women. The answer was to start a family. Men do want to settle down and move to that next phase, but they want to do it on their own time and on their terms. I talk about how to have this conversation without chasing him away.
Should a woman ask her boyfriend for a key to his apartment or wait for him to give her a copy?
A woman should almost never ask for a key to her boyfriend’s apartment, unless there’s a strong undeniable indication that he wants her to have it. A lot of men feel a need for their own space – not because something sinister is happening there but because he wants his privacy. It has nothing to do with how much he cares about you. A man’s home is his retreat, and he’ll give you a key once he’s ready. It’s better for both of you that way.
What do you want women to take away from this book?
Finding Mr. Right is not as difficult as you might think. He’s probably right in front of you, and you don’t even see him. Understanding what men are and aren’t saying is key. Having some knowledge of their inner most thoughts and motivations can make a big difference. For those who have been in long-term relationships, this book shows them that there are many ways to keep their romance fresh and exciting. The sizzle should never go flat, regardless of how long you’ve been together.
To learn more about how men think, you can purchase ‘The Truth About Men: The Secret Side of the Opposite Sex‘ at Amazon. Be sure to follow Smith on Twitter and Facebook.