By Dr. Tranquility - Lydia Belton, PhD, Ct. H.A.
The feelings and emotions we experience during the Valentine’s Day season can be enjoyed any time of the year. In order to begin, it starts with yourself. When we love ourselves, we resonate a vibration of love, and as it goes out, it comes back to us. So if you’ve had a breakup recently, let go and let love in — not for your ex, but for you! Our boundaries tend to be in a healthy place when we achieve this goal, giving way to much happier and healthier relationships.
What if you’re single? A great way to make the feelings of Valentine’s Day last if you’re not partnered up is to surround yourself with friends. Take them by the hand and do something that will bring love to others. A great example is volunteering. Help an elderly neighbor, head to a local soup kitchen or join the Red Cross. Getting out of your own head and helping others, brings loving resonance. Take a page from Prince William: when he was single, he followed his mother’s example and gave back to those less fortunate.
If you’re single but dating, drop the dinner and drinks. Hint at ideas that are fun and non-traditional. For example, horseback riding, hiking in the park, or planning a picnic can take your relationship outside the comfort zone and build a stronger connection. These suggestions give you a chance to really get to know each other and to be able to hear what the other person is saying. This step follows the initial phone call we chatted about last year in “Four Steps For Stress Free Dating,” so quite of a bit of the “getting to know you” stage is already out of the way. After a few dates, you could also try cooking together and watching a movie at home.
Related Link: 10 Steps to a Remarkable Relationship
If you’re attached, keep the love going: flowers, romantic games and bubble baths aren’t just for Valentine’s Day! Instead, pick one fun and sexy activity to enjoy for the night. Take five minutes where you are solely focused on each other; don’t say a word and just relax into each other. This behavior gets the PEA going (brain chemistry of attraction). Give it a shot — you can thank me later!
What if you’re married and perhaps have a family? Keeping things interesting can be a challenge, so in addition to the exercise in the paragraph above, I have some special tips. According to Redbook, the First Lady has said her 17-year-marriage to Barack Obama is “not perfect.” Still, even in the midst of the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico, the two had date nights. And the President has been known to bring home flowers for his wife.
Another celebrity couple that’s still going strong is Patrick Dempsey and Jillian Fink, who have been married for 11 years. Fink says, “You have to make time to spend together and to work through your issues.”
Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick have been together for 22 years — a century by Hollywood standards. Here’s Bacon’s advice: “I think you’ve got to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty!”
Consider these examples and remember that is possible to keep the love alive. You must make your relationship a priority. Wherever you find yourself on this list, relax, have fun and enjoy each other’s company. A few minutes a day goes a very long way!
Developed by Lydia Belton PhD, Ct.H.A., Date Therapy® is an effective protocol that helps people get in touch with their criteria for an ideal mate. DrTranquility’s protocols® have been featured most recently on Forbes.com & Yahoo, ABCNEWS.com, ABC’s the View, KISS FM, CupidsPulse.com, Metromix for the Chicago Tribune, British Glamour, REDBOOK, Cosmopolitan Magazine & promoted by Match.com.