By Dr.Tranquility-Lydia Belton Ph.D.Ct.H.A.

Treating ourselves and others with love is the most important aspect to dating.  That said, it can sometimes be difficult to bond in a loving manner when you’re nervous in a dinner date environment.  Date Therapy can help!  It’s a new protocol that helps people connect in three very important ways. People like Demi Moore or Kim Kardashian, who have both very publically just fallen out of high profile relationships, should take note.

1. Set Healthy Boundaries

Love yourself enough to begin your relationship with healthy boundaries.  Understanding what our realistic wants and needs are helps us to set these boundaries and to understand what we absolutely cannot tolerate.  It’s important to remember that we have worth and deserve a loving relationship that we feel safe living within.

I am very proud of Demi Moore and so many other people who recognize when it’s time to apply the brakes, hit the reset button on our boundaries and set out to live full lives.  Date Therapy empowers us to take the steps to find out if we’ve found “the one” by asking the correct questions from the beginning and not being afraid of the response.  Because we love ourselves enough to say “no” when something’s not right, Date Therapy helps you find your true criteria and your ideal mate.

Related: Demi Moore Proves There’s Hope After Divorce

2. Insist on Self Full Existence

Love yourself enough to insist on a self full existence.  This means acknowledging that we have the right to include ourselves in our wants and needs list without stepping on the wants and needs of others.  We need to allow ourselves to realize that we exist for ourselves as well as for our partners.

How many of us have been surprised when “the one” turns out to be “the awful one,” and we ask ourselves, “What was I thinking?”  Somewhere along the way, the healthy boundaries where your needs and wants exist were either not set or were overlooked in the passion of the moment.  At one point, you had a wonderful amount of comfy space, and now this partner is standing on your toes.  A fantastic example of this is Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ 72-day marriage.  Really, you can ask the right questions by the second date, but you just have to be open to the answer.

Related: What Kim Kardashian Taught Me About Marriage

3. Apply Tools

Now that you’ve set healthy boundaries and insisted on a self full existence, it’s time to bring the tools of Date Therapy and your subconscious mind to find your ideal mate.  You now have the recipe for success, and you will soon find the life and love of your dreams!

People often ask me,”Can I reset my feelings so that I fall for someone I feel that I should like if I am not really attracted to them?”  The answer is “no,” and you also can’t your force others to modify their behaviors, so don’t try to force it or make it fit.  If you are just coming out of a relationship, have fun with phases 1 and 2 before taking on phase 3.  Watch your favorite comedy or read a book.  Take a bubble bath with your favorite fragrance and drink a glass of champagne.  Go out with your pals if you’re not quite ready to date.  You’ll still have an amazing time, and you will find that Date Therapy + healthy boundaries  = The relationship of your dreams.

DrTranquility-Lydia Belton is a mental health expert with a background in Psychology, Relaxation Physiology for Mind-Body Medicine from Harvard University’s Mind- Body Institute, and Columbia University’s Rosenthal Center in Botanical Medicine.   She is known for her exclusive B Well TV productions which have aired on Current and various Internet TV platforms, including on the B Well TV channel.  She’s also the co-author of the book Let the Sun Shine In.