By Elliott Katz
It’s official! Jennifer Aniston has finally found a man to make her happy, as she recently moved in with new beau, Justin Theroux. This begs the question, what makes him different from all of the others she’s dated? I think it has something to do with the fact that he’s a solid man who shows leadership and makes decisions in their relationship. These days, it’s hard to find men who are powerful, which may be why it took so long for Jen to find her man.
Women universally love and respect men who are strong. While researching my book, Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, one of the biggest complaints I heard from women is that today’s men don’t show initiative and lack grit. They say that men seem oblivious to problems and wait for women to tell them what to do. Even when they’re asked for input about something, men will say, “you decide.”
Single women told me that when they go out for coffee with a man, instead of taking the lead and selecting the place to go, he wants her to choose. And when they finally get somewhere, he wants her to pick the table.
To avoid accusations of being controlling, many men have now gone to the opposite extreme by completely avoiding being assertive. They think they’re showing that they’re non-controlling nice guys and can’t understand why women are frustrated and lose respect for them.
Here are three key ways to become a self-assured man any woman would love:
When a man sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. Women admire men who are willing to step up, instead of waiting for others to solve the problem.
A man needs to make his share of decisions (like picking a restaurant and/or a table) and take ownership for the outcome, instead of blaming it on someone else. To many women, a man who avoids being decisive is shirking his responsibilities.
Refrain from attacking someone about a situation, and instead make an effort to improve it. There is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman for making a bad choice— even when he thinks she pushed him into it. As the man, it’s your lot to skillfully manage and salvage unfortunate circumstances, as well as seek to attain ideal ones.
Despite these tips, it’s important to get to know your mate in order to get a feel for what she wants. Ask specific questions based on the above suggestions. You may be surprised by her response. Remember that by being confident, Justin Theroux ended up dating one of America’s sweethearts, Jennifer Aniston.
Elliott Katz is the author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man, which is being translated into 21 languages in Europe, Asia and Latin America. Women give the book to husbands, boyfriends and sons. Divorced women say if their husbands had understood these insights, their marriages would not have disintegrated. It’s available online from Amazon.com and bookstores.