U.S. World Cup star Landon Donovan is playing defense these days after reports surfaced that he fathered a child out of wedlock.  A source close to Donovan’s wife and Rules of Engagement star, Bianca Kajlich, told US Weekly Monday that she wasn’t “blindsided by this and isn’t angry.”  The news came out during the United States’ World Cup run, and Donovan told Sports Illustrated that he will take responsibility if the claims are true.  While the soccer star and his wife are currently separated, they have been trying to work on their relationship.

Can a marriage work if your spouse has a child with another person?

Cupid’s Advice:

There will be a lot of emotional turmoil but a  marriage can survive if both parties want to make it work. Cupid has some suggestions:

1. Demand a paternity test: While most DNA tests happen after the baby is born, it’s possible to get one beforehand.  Consider counseling when waiting for results to make sure all parties are prepared for whatever happens.

2. Get finances in order: In addition to the emotional pain this news can bring, there are financial implications as well.  Whether you’re planning a separation, divorce or trying to work it out with your spouse, you’ll still want to contact an attorney.  Shared assets need to be determined since financial questions will pop up once paying child support comes into the picture.

3. Consider the child: Whether you’re a woman dealing with her husband’s potential infidelity, or a man whose wife is pregnant with another man’s baby, the anger and hurt can be overwhelming.  Step back and consider the innocent child in the middle of this situation, as well as any children you already have with your spouse.  Don’t take the anger out on them.